Why is it that all you parents that homeschool your kids?

Question

Insist that they be nerds? Poor kids never get a chance to socially develop. I'm not basing this just on a South Park episode, but also from the fact that one of my friends homeschools her son and he's completely screwed in regards to education, not to mention a social reject.

Is this what you want for your kids??

Answer 1

Let's take a look at what "socialization" really means...  

1.  "a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position."  So, that right there tells me that the individual is acquiring their personal identity.  And the social position that my children are to be in is to love the Lord thy God with all their hearts, mind, and soul.  And, by the way, my children are not introverts, they are very bold about talking to people.

Lets look at another meaning of "socialize"...

2. "To place under government or group ownership or control."  WOW!!!  Thats just what I want to do, place my kids under the government or group ownership or even control.  Thank you, but no.  I think I will continue to teach my children at home and leave the "socialization" to the government.

One more look at the meaning...

3. "the adoption of the behavior patterns of the surrounding culture."  So, no matter how evil or vile the surrounding my children are to take on those behaviors.  

NO THANKS!!!  I will keep my kids at home.  I know they won't be "social rejects".  Most homeschool kids are more highly esteemed when it comes to college, because they know how to find the answers for themselves.  In many cases homeschooled children become leaders.

Answer 2

hmmm nobody who has answred this agrees with you i cant say i totally disagree but i dont totally agree either i was homeschooled from 5th to 8th grade and now am baq in school,i have alot of homeschooled frinds and non homeschooled frinds even when i was homeschooled and most of my homeschool frinds are bad,yet some have good morals,and some are screwed up because of their parents for examples my cousins were all homeschool oldest being almost 15  and he is the only one  of them that is different for example one of my cousins is 12 years old and yet is still afraid to do things without his mom or dad and they call their parents mommy and dada stil!!!! the youngest two still sleep in their parents bed most of the time!! and ,my aunt controls their every move and makes almost all their decisions  thats why the oldest one has already rebeled and the other 2 are coming close to that point if their mom keeps up the way shes been so i agree sometimes people who homeschools are controlling freaks but alot arent like my mom when i was homeschooled i was home alone most of the time and did watever and got into tons of trouble because i was alone all the time,and now in regular school im getting one B one D and two C's,,and on the homeschool test last year i scored college leve hahah and alot of my homeschooled frinds are dumb maybe even dumber than me (book wise) and they score good on the homeschool test cuz its rigged the lady who grades them all isnt going to fail u cuz then your parents will be asking them questions and it would be a hassle for them.....so all to be said homeschool is good and bad u get more freedom like last year when i was in 8th grade i was homeshcooled  and played highschool sports and now if your cold enough to have a job homeschool is great for that but it is harder to meet people through homeschool but as for me i still had lots of frinds

Answer 3

As a homeschooling parent of five, three of which are in college and doing better than any of their peers, I'd have to say.. empirically speaking, of course.. that your "evidence" is a bit skewed.

I took my children OUT of the public school system for being taught things like evolution is "just a theory" and that the earth is only 10,000 years old,  to name just a couple.

My children are very social creatures, and unlike their public school peers, they actually can converse in the real world. They don't have a "herd mentality" and don't have unrealistic expectations.

In the working world, I am exposed to people of all ages, not just those who are my age. My children have had the same experience growing up.

They have learned to think for themselves, and not be told what to think by someone else... unlike their public school friends.

Yes, this IS what I wanted for my kids.. thank you.

Answer 4

Wow...south park AND one person out of approximately two million homeschoolers. That's good math...NOT! You've met 0.0000005 percent of the nation's homeschoolers, and have managed to judge all of them.

Why do you insist on judging my children as nerds, when you've never met them? My kids aren't nerds. They aren't socially immature, and they are in fact ahead of peers academically. They love being unschooled, and I've asked them if they want to go back to school (after five years IN school and two years OUT), and they all laughed and said no way. They have friends that they see every day, in all kinds of social situations.

Why do you insist that all people should fall under the government-mandated blanket of brainwashing? You've been so brainwashed by the media and NEA that public schooling is the only way to go, you can't even imagine that homeschooling could be good. Think for yourself, do some research, meet some new people, be open-minded.

Oh, and *I* should add, my kids don't have to sneak out of the house, they can leave by the front door. I hate to imagine where you grew up.

Answer 5

Sorry no.  My kids are not "nerds", nor are they socially or intellectually inept.  They are around children every day, both homeschooled and publicly schooled.

I am sorry that your friend's child is "screwed".  That is unfortunate.  However, take a look at a place like the US.  I would say the US has been "screwed" for years, with rude, out of control children, rude adults, and increasingly poor education standards.  Yet the majority of children in this country receive a public school education.  What could possibly account for this?  Perhaps it is that public school is not the end all and be all of what is required to be a normal, happy, productive member of society.

Generalizing, whether it be in the homeschool category, or in R&S, is never a wise choice.  Didn't you learn that in school?

Answer 6

Have you taken a long hard look at the socially undeveloped, social rejects, socially challenged and socially withdrawn children that are in every public school across this nation?

Kids shooting other kids because no one would be their friend and they felt rejected or put down. (VIrginia Tech)

Kids smoking dope and drinking alcohol to fit in to a social group.

Kids having s*x and getting pregnant and having to drop out of school because they wanted to do the cool thing in a moment of peer pressure.

Kids withdrawing from others because of bullying, fighting, not being accepted into cliques.

Kids being bullies because they think it is cool and impresses those in his/her social group.

Kids commiting suicide because of a boy/girl relationship gone bad.

You do realize that school has not always been public?

There was a time when parents schooled their children and it was the common and best choice. Do you think these people were nerds or social rejects?

Many of these became great inventors, poets, painters, artists, leaders, heros, the people we now spend a great deal of time learning about in school.

Ever thought about the idea that most homeschooled children can have an inteligible conversation with others of many ages, on many topics and not just those of their own age because of the interaction with society daily?

The fact that you sit and watch South Park does not speak too highly of your own intellect.

I care not for teen pregnancies, teen alcoholics, teen druggies, bullies, followers, or teens watching inappropriate, uneducated, and unethical shows such as South Park. Thus far, these are the things public school has shown they are best at providing for my children.

School is not to be a social enviornment to be "cool" and accepted, it is for expanding your mind and educating yourself and becoming a strong person for the future!!

Answer 7

I don't think that your friend is so bad, because intelligence is very attractive. Maybe you are the one that needs adjusting. What you think she is lacking, she may be way ahead of you in other ways. Usually kids turn out better when home schooled, because they have day-to-day interaction with the parents, which is their most caring teacher.

Answer 8

I think the worse thing that a parent can do is homeschool!!

Usually the end up being a social nerd

also they usually have weak parents that cant stand the teachers or principals to tell them the truth

or they will move to another state

they have a hard time communicating after they get on their

own

I have 2 relatives that homeschooled til they graduated and as soon as they could fly the coop they did.

now they are in different states

I raised 20 children and never did they have to be home schooled. If they are being homeschooled it will surely show soon enough and the parents will be so sorry by then its too late

Answer 9

School is for education and the higher up it gets the harder it gets.  Medical School students pull 100 a week of work and they even work on holidays.

Most people, however, do socialize their kids.  Most are religious and thus go to Church once a week or more.  They go to Church functions.  Many older kids are in Church Choir.  Many of the kids are on little league, softball or soccer leagues.  Some take Karate classes.

The chances are good you're friends son would be a social reject even at school

What makes you think he'll be a punker or metaler or goth, maybe he'll be a brain or a nerd and hang out in debating class or the computer center.

In schools there is one hour of socilization and that is lunch.

The rest of the time you're supposed to be in class learning.

Kids today are doing too much socializtion and too little learning.

That's why the graduate high school thinking Demark is a City.

Answer 10

So you base your opinion of homeschooled kids not only on a South Park episode, but also on ONE homeschooled child you know? Maybe you need a bigger sampling before making a judgment.  If I went down to the local Public School I am sure I could find 15 or so "nerds" as you put it.  Now, does that mean that public school produces "nerds"?

Please take your judgmental, prejudicial, misinformed, ignorant, hateful, and arrogant attitudes somewhere else.  And instead of judging your friend's son as a "nerd" see him as an individual who has strengths and weaknesses and is worthy of more respect than you are extending.  You don't seem to be much of a friend, I wouldn't want to continue a friendship with someone who called my kids names.

Answer 11

My child is home schooled because he was beaten up every day at school. He is 14, he has no desire to step back into a public school. He wants to be safe from torment. I want him to be able to learn without having to fear for his life. Can you do better than that?

Answer 12

It's about character building. When you home school your children, you can make sure your kids have a proper moral upbringing.

When my kids are old enough to date each other, I don't think they'll need supervision unless they wander past the tree on the far side of the compound's yard.

Answer 13

Wow if you are baseing your opinions and views of homeschoolers with South Park as a template, then you have a very SERIOUS problem....called Telling the difference between Life and Make believe.

South Park doesn't even come close to real life---- it simply shows how moronic and foul mouthed it's creators are.

It is proven time and again that Homeschooled children surpass their Public/Private counterparts the majority of the time. Homeschool children are able to deal with a wider range of ages/situations and go on to surpass their peers in the workplace.

Yes, there are a few homeschool situations where the children don't strive socially or academically... BUT those cases are few and FAR.

Do yourself a favor and broaden your horizons...there are magazines that deal with Homeschooling, go buy some and read up (The Old Schoolhouse, Practical Homeschooler) are two such reads. Who knows, you might even learn something.

Answer 14

If Southpark and ONE homeschoolers who doesn't meet your standard of excellence are your criteria to judge every other homeschooler then you have a lot of growing up to do.

That would be like me judging every American by watching George Bush or Paris Hilton on TV

It's STUPID.

.

Answer 15

Just guessing here, but I'd say that you are in Middle School or High School and your definition of not being a "nerd" is following the crowd.

I don't really want my daughter growing up to follow the crowd.  I would prefer that she grow up to be the person God created her to be regardless of what's considered "normal".

Academically, homeschoolers tend to have higher achievement than students at public and private schools. My daughter will be classically educated when she is older, and finishing a classical education program will put her academically ahead of many college graduates before she graduates high school.

My daughter is not isolated by any means. She is in Soccer, ballet, and tumbling and that's at 4 years old. She also goes to Sunday School. If I put her in any more activities, she would burn out.

You might try doing some actual research on homeschooling, before you make accusations against those who are involved.

Answer 16

Look this happens to kids that actually go to public school too. I have seen it in my years of going to school. It really has to do with their personality and how they are raised regardless of their schooling. Yes there are weird people everywhere, but you can't blame it on homeschooling. People like this only give homeschooling a bad name. You cannot make a judgement on one case.

Answer 17

i dont think thats true

Answer 18

How about: we wish them to socialize with, and become, better quality people than you?

Answer 19

Why do non-homeschooling people assume homeschoolers are nerds?

I'm smart, well socialized, love photography, favorite band is Bon Jovi, love the beach, very artistic---do I sound like a nerd?

Some people are just so ignorant. You base your opinions on one kid that turns out weird because he was homeschooled. In reality--most homeschooled kids turn out completely normal and alot better than any kid in public school.

Answer 20

I think you should read the book, "Dumbing Us Down" by John Gatto.  Maybe if you weren't so focused on social status you'd appreciate the ability to think and analyze that you obviously don't value.

Besides, my children aren't going to be everyday nerds--they're going to be at the top of the upper echelon of nerdom.

Answer 21

I love all these opinions dressed up as facts, lol.

Define what you mean by: "completely screwed in regards to education, not to mention a social reject". Most of the time I reckon what these sort of assertions mean is that we, as homeschooled kids, are neither peer group dependent nor commercialism dependent nor mass society's sheep.

And that is supposed to be a bad thing?

I'm 14, one of a family of 9 kids who are home educated and I definitely do not consider myself to be deprived in any way, not of anything beneficial anyway. I tried school once (I mistakenly thought school was where you went to learn things!); it was the BIGGEST waste of time imaginable...and this in a country with far higher (proven) standards of public education than America.

Being home educated, I have 2 all-year-round jobs; 3 seasonal jobs; I compete in swimming, horse riding and cross country running; I belong to Scouts, CCF and Young Farmers; and have already been offered a provisional place at Uni (for February 2011!).

Strangely I don't believe I'm missing out on very much worth having by not going to school, lol.

Answer 22

I dont insist that my kids be nerds. In fact they have LOTS of friends in the neighborhood as well as thru activites.

I homeschool because I prefer to be involved in my children's education. I want them to know that learning is a 24/7 experience, not just an 8am to 3 pm one.  

Homeschool can be either a positive or negative one depending on how much the parents put into it. If your friend's son is not recieving the proper education or social outlets, that is sad. It is up to his mother to see that he does his school work and socializes with other kids.

There are sports leagues, music lessons, groups such as scouts and 4H that homeschoolers can participate it. It sounds like the problem may be that his mom isn't getting him as involved as he needs to be.

Answer 23

I am not upset by this comment.  It has not made me hot under the collar.  I find that ignorance and prejudice breed like flies on dung, though.  I am only writting to approach this festering boil with truth since the original poster is not the only confused person.

I have not taught my children to cloister themselves with only people who talk like them, look like them and are the same age as them.  I also model what I teach.  None of my friends are the same age as me or exactly like me.  They consist of both Christians and nonChrisitans from their twenties to their fifties.  When I was a young teacher at a Jewish community center, my good friend and housemate was actually the same age as my dad.  I still keep in contact with her after all these years.  I love diversity.  Ibeleive that a varied bullpen of friends has only sharpened me as a person.  I never had that in public schools where I was forced to learn what other people told me to learn and sit with people who shared the same birth year.  Peer contacts?  That is just a fancy phrase for segregation, as I see it.  

Tonight, my 13 year old son grabbed his bags and went to spend the night at his best friend's house.  That friend is only 11 years old and goes to a private Christian school but was always public schooled before this year.  The mom was surprised at the age range, at first.  She thought I had a tall and mature boy the same age as her son.  Why do they get along in spite of breaking the rule of peer contacts?  These boys do not concentrate on their differences but relish their similarities!  That is real life and I am glad that my children can live like adults in the real world even now.

The extra child I teach was public schooled for 3 years and home schooled by his mom for two years.  Both situations were dismal failures for this child.  He continues to be a difficult student, even for me.  He struggles with spelling words as simple as "was" and, until last year, still soiled his pants.  He has been retarded (both in academic and social regards) for years in his own home.  He has a long way to go and I can only do so much for him because he is the product of his parents and not the academic programs he has used.  The problem is his home because if learning is not a lifestyle, it is stripped of its strength and power.  Public schools are only made strong by the parents of the childrren who attend thosee schools!  His mother and father were public schooled, by the way.  If where they schooled matters, then you must take the argument one step further and say that public schools failed not only the parents but their son!

I also would love to know what people in other places believe the definition of "nerd" to be.  My oldest son considers himself to be a nerd and is proud of that title.  In this region, a nerd is an individual who is extremely inteligent and does not hold societal opinions to be more important than truth.  Socially inept?  He came bounding through the door tonight and ran to tell me that his dodgeball team placed second in a huge dodgeball tournament held at our church.  The kids, ranging from 13 to 19, consisted of Christians, nonChristians, public-schooled, private-schooled and home-schooled teens.  The team he played against consisted of 4 home schooled boys and two public schooled boys who were between 16 and 18 years old.  Those boys also averaged 6 1/2 feet in height!  His team consisted of 3 home schooled kids and 3 public schooled kids.  My son was proud that his team had played so well against such a group of athletes. (one home schooled boy on that team is a quarter back for a private school which allows home schoolers to join its sports and another public schooled boy on that team is a wrestling all-star in his public school)  These boys all get along very well together.  The difference is not where they learned the 3 Rs but who their parents are!  I am glad that my son wants to mingle with such great people and doesn't question their ages or schooling as qualifications for friendship!  

I want to continue but this bright young lad of 14 just peeked over my shoulder and now wants to take over the keyboard and respond to this misconception personally.

signed,

a home school mom of five and private teacher to one more

**************************************...

Do not think that you are the first to think this. I have met many people who believe this, I was at a theatre camp ( I do get out of the house) where one of the 18 yr. old counselors had pity on me, because I was a (gasp) homeschooler. This is one of the more common myths about homeschooling, but I do get around. I have many friends both public and home schooled.  It almost makes me want to do a home schooler mythbusters. I do consider  "nerd" an honorable term when being called one; the other person obviously realizes you are of a higher intellect and wishes to demean that.

Answer 24

Hey now, I was homeschooled from 5 grade onwards...and I am not a "social reject". I actually got to go to college sooner as a result of my mom home schooling me.

Answer 25

I was homeschooled 1st through 8th grade and I turned out great. I'm smart and socialize well. What happened to your friend's son is just one example, there plenty of other cases that are successful in regards to the outcome of the kids. Homeschooling is great!

Answer 26

I'm so happy that your public school experience has made you able to judge all other homeschoolers based on the one friend who homeschools. I'm also glad that that bias has enabled you to judge how I'm raising and educating my children, just they way someone's bias enables people to determine how others will think, act, how smart they will be based on their colour or country of origin.

Kudos to you.

ADDED: So, what, because your friend's kids are hellions means that all homeschoolers are like that???? Is it the homeschooling or her poor parenting skills that caused that?

Answer 27

I'm homeschool and I'm not a nerd, but I'm not stupid either. As far as social skills, mine are very well. Its a dumb stereotype that homeschooled kids aren't social. I've never been happier, I went to public school for 9 years and I hated it, dealing with all the drama being put down everyday, I was depressed as h*ll. Now I'm really happy and confident in myself. You need to know what your talking about before you open your mouth.

Answer 28

I think it has something to do with the fact that it's kinda hard to get into college if you have no real highschool diploma AND your standardized testscores are as low as the everyone elses.  That just doesn't sit right with most admissions boards these days.

Answer 29

Not a direct answer but rather an observation:

Have you noticed the maturity and eloquence with which most of the homeschooling students responded to this question,  which was obviously written with the intention of drawing inflammatory responses?  

Thank you to all of the H.S.ers who answered and made all the homeschooling parents proud!

Answer 30

So, you're not basing your opinion just on a South Park episode, but also on the one child that you know that is homeschooled?  Wow, what a broad point of view you have.  At least parents who homeschool don't judge all public school children based on the actions of one.

Answer 31

The Confirmed Athiest ~ No, that is not true! You can get a real diploma with homeschooling just like you can in school. Actually, homeschooling is just the same as public school, just made differently.

Anyway, that isn't true. I used to be home schooled when I was little. Then went to school. It was good, but once I went to high school, it was terrible. I wanted to home school again because it was the best thing for me to do. In public high school, at least the one I went to, the kids were crazy, very immature, some of them that is, and they didn't do things right there. I did have a few good teachers, but it wasn't the best place for me. I couldn't even eat lunch because of my schedule. I started homeschooling again and I use Alpha Omega online academy, it's great! I have teachers, I can interact with other students there, my subjects are way better to understand, and I have good friends! So no, very few people who are home schooled turn out the way your friend did, or what you say. And I do get a real diploma from the academy. It depends on the person though and how life is at home whether they turn out well or not. A kid in public school can turn out the same way as your friend did in home schooling. For me, it's better then being public schooled, because I hated the way things were there, and not because I am shy and have anxiety problems, i've had that since middle school, but because of the way the school was. I couldn't handle it. Some people can. Home schooling is just the best way for me education wise and getting into college. As for the environment, it's better in some ways...