Why is it that even if I feel a little excitement or happiness, I STILL feel very depressed & panicky?

Question

@ the same time?

Answer 1

Probably because you have become conditioned to feeling depressed. The longer you feel depressed, the more 'normal' the situation becomes to you, so that when it happens that you aren't depressed, your 'normal' self panics at the 'new' sensation, and the depression remains because the excitement/happiness is considered an abnormal experience.

It is very common for people with long-term depression to feel that way. It actually takes a lot of effort in order for the person to keep reminding themselves that the way they are feeling (being depressed all the time) is actually abnormal. And since depression is a great-big energy zapper, people have less energy to get out of a situation at the precise moment they need more energy, like spinning your wheels makes your car sink deeper into the mud.

If you want to help yourself get used to the panicky feeling, try finding little moments of happiness throughout your day. By conditioning your mind and body to deal with those little exertions of happiness, to accept them as normal, you won't find yourself so overwhelmed when a stronger happiness/excitement comes to you. Think of it like training yourself to speak before a large crowd. You don't start off by speaking to a large crowd, you start off by simply standing up and giving a speech to an empty room. When you get comfortable with that, then you add a few people, and keep adding people until the expectation of speaking before a large crowd becomes 'normal' and thus no cause for worry.