Why is it that people make such a big deal over young people in their late teens and 20's having babies???

Question

What is so wrong with young people having babies??? Why is it automatically assumed that because we are young we live at home with our parents and are on welfare??? Why are we deemed unfit parents just becasue we are young??? I am 20 years old and have 2 kids and another on the way, i am married and my husband is the father of all 3 of my children. We do recieve medicaid and foodstamps but so do lots of other people and i don't want to hear about your tax money going to pay for that c**p becasue so does ours, my husband works very hard to support our family, its all the illegal immigrants who come over and have kids who are spending your tax money, theres alot more of them on welfare than there are young people with kids. We live on our own and pay our own rent and bills and refuse to live in free government housing. And people who are on welfare are lots of diffrent groups excluding young people with babies, there are many people who use and abuse the help who dont even need it.

Answer 1

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Answer 2

I think many people tend to over react about teen moms because there's no way a 13 year old had planned to start a family...maybe I'm wrong but I think a 13 yr old has more ambitions than settling down with no job or education at that age? However, I totally agree with you, people always over- react about that sort of thing. I can understand most of their concerns but lets face it, most of them are absurd. Being a good parent is not really affected by age, maternal instincts kick in regardless of age. I'm 26 and have a 10month old and one on the way and that's all the children my finance and myself can have. If you ask me, younger parents make the best parents, my mother is 31yrs older that me and as a result we don't really talk because she is stuck in her times, however my brother who she had at 18 is really close to her because they're more friendly towards each other than we are. Don't get me wrong, I don't condone teen pregnancies, however I wish people would quite judging other peoples actions especially when they know nothing about other peoples situations.

Edit: To his29, not all of what you say is necessarily true as I've got a law degree and have never worked apart from my work experience, I'm a stay at home mom with my little girl and finance and have never claimed a single benefit my whole life so having an education etc isn't everything because look at me, I'm just sitting on mine at the minute. There's nothing wrong with having some assistance, let's face it we all need it some times whether it's financially,emotionally etc...I'm sure you get where I'm going with this. I feel more fulfilled being a house wife than getting a career would have ever done. Having children is not a hindrance but a blessing, it's never stopped me from doing anything. I still get to travel, go out to nice restaurants and do everything else I want to do so maybe you should consider those things before you speak out?

Answer 3

I'm really not sure why people are so objective and jerkish about this.  I mean...an 18 yr old, is a legal adult and if they can support their kids, what's the issue?  Even still, if I don't know the person - how in the world can I pass judgement on them?

I would take whatever people say on here as a grain of salt.  They most likely wouldn't talk badly like this to your face.  If they do say it to your face, you can say "well, it's none of your business now is it?" or "isn't that a little rude to comment on?".

I personally had my first daughter at the age of 22, but I looked like I was 15.  (Genetics are terrible sometimes!)  I would constantly get people coming up to me giving me snide remarks about how terrible I was for being a TEEN mother!  It was a seriously wth moment everytime it happened.  I usually had to say "I'm not a kid, I'm an adult...I'm 22, and I support my kids thank you very much."

You shouldda seen it when my hubby was deployed during that first pregnancy too.  Everyone assumed I was a single mother that couldn't keep her legs closed.  s***w the wedding band!  They didn't care!

I say as long as you are at least trying to support your family, my taxes are being put to good use.  You are at least making a d**n effort.  I have a problem with the mothers/fathers that have 10 kids and don't even bother to work, and just keep breeding.

Answer 4

Well first  a comment to sammie_7,  Just your comment alone shows why people in their teens, or people in general should do what they need to not have an unplanned pregnancy. Calling your unborn baby,"it" and spelling mom mum tells a lot about you and shows your age. To all young people who are offended by the concern older, experienced parents have with teenagers, well just look at the statistics for one, and just think about it teenagers should be concentrating on graduating from h.s.. and working on going to college. not having babies, once a young teenager has a child planned or unplanned, they are most likely not to finish  school or further their education, and most likely have to depend on a lot of outside help for caring for their children. That's fine if you choose to get married and start a family in your twenties, if as a couple you are stable and secure in your marriage, stable and secure financially and you have accomplished everything else you wanted to educationally, and maybe even owning a home that you own. There is nothing wrong with it then. But if you are dependent on medicaid and foodstamps to support yourself and your kids, then you should stop having children until you can support them on your own, yes I know there are some people out there who get surprised with an unexpected child, and if you're not financially secure you have every right to seek outside help. But if actually plan to keep having children knowing you have to rely on gov. help. That's not to responsible. Needing assistance with insurance is one thing everyone has a right to that, but if you need cash gov. ***. with food and money then stop planning to have children for a time. Esp. of your so young, you have plenty of time for that.

Older exp. people and parents are just trying to look out for the younger people who might not know how hard it is out there yet. Esp. once you have children,they are a lot of work and commitment and rely on you for everything and when you're young you want your freedom to go out and do what you want, spend money on what you want ,go to school, college,travel. It is just a better decision to settledown and start a family when you are completely ready. If by chance you do get surprised with a little one, without being ready, do what you need to get ready and prepared before they are born, finish school, take a course you can get a certificate in so you can get a good job to support your child.  

I'm not putting anyone down, I'm not here to judge, I'm just giving some learned advice and experience, and I'm not saying if you start out in life doing all these planned events inlife that it all works out fine, that's not always the case, but if you start out being prepared and in a stable place in life, if what you had planned doesn't work out, like a relationship, job, or marriage atleast you have all the resources you need to go on, pick up and start over . Good luck with all the choices you all make in life.

Answer 5

Because most are unplanned. I think if you have s*x there can be consequences. But I was a teen pregnancy and I was adopted and my life is SO different then it would have been. For the better though. I think you are ready for s*x when YOU feel ready and if you get pregnant it is YOUR choice what you want to  do.

Answer 6

i agree with you, im 19 and pregnant with my first i will be 20 when its born. everyone just assumes you will be living on benefits for the rest of your life expecting everyone to provide for your baby, but not everyone is like that its just stereotyping and its wrong. i can provide for my baby and i know i will be a good mum so i dont care what other people think and assume, its none of their business and i dont have anything to prove to them. neither do you. there are actually plenty of older mums out there who are a lot worse off than some younger mums, so its nothing to do with age at the end of the day is maturity. my boyfriend works hard every day and gets taxed double what he should, so its not just them that have this problem and assume its because of younger mums that taxes exist in the first place. they should concentrate on their own 'perfect' lives and leave ours alone. just keep being a good mum and leave their pathetic comments to it, because it says more about them at the end of the day than younger mums.