Why is it that people say not to care what people think but when they are judged/gossiped about they're upset?

Question

Why is it that people say not to care what people think but when they are judged/gossiped about they're upset?

Answer 1

Sometimes it's hard to take your own good advice.  I tell people that, and I try not to let others gossip or judgments bother me either.  But sometimes they still bother me in spite of my best efforts.

Answer 2

To be judged or gossiped about is a very large difference.

I don't have a problem if somebody steps up to be and tells me into my face that he or she thinks I'm an idiot. I can live with that since I think the same thing about some people as well. However, I regard it as very, very immature and disrespectful to talk about someone behind his back, to gossip about him or her. Because in that situation, the person you gossip about is not able to defend herself.

So, what I want to say is, that most people don't care how they get judget, but they do care if others gossip about them, because gossiping is simply and plainly mean and ignorant.

Answer 3

Some things are easier said than done.

Answer 4

They don't want to make a big deal out of it and deal with the drama if they said anything different.

Option One

Person1: Did you know that Person3 (enter gossip here)

Person2: No way!

New Conversation

Person2: Person1 says that (enter gossip here)

Person3: Whatever

Person2: Aren't you mad?

Person3: No. I don't care.

Person2: Bye.

Situation2:

Person1: Did you know that Person3 (enter gossip here)

Person2: No way!

New Conversation

Person2: Person1 says that (enter gossip here)

Person3: What!?!?!?! That b****!!

New Conversation

Person3: Person2 says you told her that I (enter gossip here)  You don't know what the f*** you are talking about!!!

Person1: What!?! I didn't say that!!

Person3: Yes you did!!

Person1: No I didn't!!

Person1: B****.

Person3: B****.

And they never speak to each other again.

Answer 5

Because they're putting up a front.

Deep down, most people care what others say about them.  Some of us pretend that we don't because we want to seem more secure than we actually are.

Answer 6

Because people are just ridiculous.

It's cool to act like you don't care, and admitting that you do, means you admit to being human.

We are only human.

I am only human, and while some things won't bother me, if someone said, "hey, that Sara, you know she's really dumb.", I would laugh and say "Okay. Sometimes." .. but if someone were to say something a bit more personal, and probably even true, yeah, I'd be a little upset.

That's another thing -

most of the time, people only get upset when there is some truth to what's being said.