Why is it that sometimes we can't let certain things go, although they don't affect us anymore?

Question

out of reflex? out of habit? why?

Answer 1

I wish I could answer that question, if I knew I could help myself a lot.

I forgive, and pray to forgive, but the bad things keep coming back into my mind.  When that happens, I get angry, or sad, or frustrated all over again.

My technique is to just keep "letting go" over and over, eventually it comes back less often.  I think when something affects you and hurts you a lot, it is hard to forget.

For me, also, I tried to pretend nothing was wrong many times, but it just screwed me up even worse!  Never pretend it is okay when it isn't, you will get over it sooner.

Answer 2

...I wish I knew...I still have some "hard feelings" towards my late husband's brother in how he treated my son and I after my husband's death...that was 7 yrs ago and we moved away since then so I no longer see or talk with him, but, I still get  "hurt" feelings when I reflect back...it's a very long story and I won't tell it, but the "tinge" of pain is still there to some degree...it's not pleasant to be unforgiving, yet I struggle with it just the same in this case

Answer 3

BECAUSE OF THE EMOTIONAL BOND U HAVE WITH THEM.IT'S LIKE IF SOMETHING DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE AND U HAD IT FOR YEARS THEN YOU WANT TO KEEP IT TO REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES(LOL)

Answer 4

A good part of the skill of living is the willingness to let things go without regret. Choose what seems best, acknowledge what you may have ...Saves your sanity - unless you let go of those things over which you are powerless, you run the risk of burning out your emotional and physical energy, ...

Answer 5

Out of fear of an empty space within.

False fear because soul and life fills in all empty spaces....

But, we can't overcome that fear.

We are only human.

Answer 6

Oh,  We are such hoarders!  We go on depositing experiences in our Memory Bank,  withdrawing some to savour when in dire need.  No way we can empty it all...Only a total crash can wipe it off!!!

Answer 7

I would say because those certain things helped to shape who we are in the present, even though it happened in the past. It would be like denying a part of who we are by how it shaped us as an individual.

Answer 8

If you can't let go, I'd argue it is still affecting you, no?

Answer 9

because we still keep holding on to it even if we believe otherwise.Ü

Answer 10

I think it is the direct relationship between the memory and our feelings.  Just think if we got amnesia and lost both of those feelings and memory, then we definitely would not be effected by them.  

Thanks for reading!

Answer 11

cause of our feelings

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 12

well i dont let certain things go because although i can forgive them- i cannot forget the past. If a person does something once , twice, then what will stop them for doing it again? Nothing, so they'll keep doing it. So thats what i have to keep in mind. Like i still hate my Ex-Boyfriend for cheating on me. I still talk to him and i still like him but i hate him for his wrong doing. No-one likes to get hurt repeatly..ya know and i refuse to be blind again.

Answer 13

You need to learn how to dismiss those thoughts that come into your mind over and over again. If you let the thoughts play out and stir up your feelings your not controlling your thoughts. The thoughts are controlling you.

Your mind is like a large scroll continuously playing in your mind. You need to stop the thought you don't want to have and quickly recognize that your thinking of the thought and then focus your attention onto something thats positive and uplifting. Before you know it the thought will not come back anymore.

This takes practice...good luck.

Answer 14

there so many reasons for this, one is selfishness or self centerdness, you dont want to let go of it because you hate to see other people picking them up, one is being stubborn. also when you are hopeful..hoping that sooner it will turn into something good, another reason could be being sentimental, you tend to hold on to them as much as you can because the memories you have with gives you a different kind of boost.

or it could also be bacause of the challenges, the compettion and you want to prove some things in yourself.

Answer 15

pride, ego

both of which stem from the same root of misconception of reality.

Answer 16

I don't know it's kind of like poking an old injury to see if it still hurts.

I'm not one to pick scabs, it just delays the healing process.

Answer 17

Too much glue? Sorry, couldn't resist that.

If you can't let go of something, it does affect you. It means that you are afraid to just leave it and walk away.

Answer 18

Human nature.  People are afraid of either getting hurt or being seen as a doormat, or any number of self protective reasons.

Answer 19

maybe because we always remember the affect it had on us before in the past. it's like one of those saying 'forgive but never forget even if it doesn't affect'. well the last part i made up but other than it rhimes... it's true.

Answer 20

you are stubborn.

Answer 21

With good memories...I think we just want to hold onto those happy times. I have a few very great memories that used to be shadowed with pain that came afterward, but I've finally been able to let the pain go and yet keep the happy memories because even though the end result hurt, they were still good times when they happened :)

Answer 22

According to my psychiatrist, because I had some preoccupation with my ex and I didn't know why other than our break up was humiliating and public and other things, I hadn't dealt with it or faced it because I didn't want to feel the pain of it again so I stuffed it down.This was going on for 15 years! I knew I didn't have feelings for him(only negative ones).  I did deal with it and feel the feelings(it hurt) looked at pictures, watched a video of him, thought of all my "friends" who had slept with him( lol )and I did get over it actually really quickly. But anyway that's what my doctor said. If you can't let it go, you haven't faced it or dealt with it because you don't want to feel the pain again.