Why is it that the people that are the most passionate about "adoption" being good are the ones.......

Question

that do the "least" to help a young mother or family in need?

Is it because they feel their taxes going toward welfare is enough or is it that it goes against their agenda to have a baby?

What are you thoughts?

I personally don't get why "many" church members don't care about keeping the birth mother together with her child where abuse and neglect isn't even an issue. I would expect more from them since they are following the word of God and other members around them would remind them of it.

Answer 1

Yes, like the passionate social workers, attorneys, agencies such as Catholic Charities, Bethany Lutheran, Latter Day Saints (Mormons), etc.

And don't forget, it's all non-profit, too.  Just doin' it for the Lord.

Answer 2

I find your passion for keeping families together commendable. I also agree that there may be people out there  that may be taking advantage; this would be people at both ends of the spectrum. In fact I would love to adopt a child; Only if the parent is not able to keep their child and has thought about what they would like to do. I also agree that some agencies are not looking to keep families together or offer the guidance needed for both the mother and the potential parents. I have seen many of your responses to other people and frankly I find the majority of your responses ignorant. Ignorant; not being "you are a stupid person", But! not listening or caring about others and prejudging before you know the facts. I am not out to steal someones baby or child. I am a tax payer along with millions of other people and If a mother or father has decided to keep their child that is totally up to them. I am all for single/married people using what ever legal resources they can use to keep their families together. I am not "waiting in the wing somewhere waiting for the mother load to drop" as one person has put it. I feel you should not be asking a question like this since you seem to have all of the answers. If you want to help people or families stop judging people that may be looking to you for help or advise. Compassion for people is what you are needing.

Answer 3

Because their idea of "helping" these young mothers is helping themselves to a kid.

Keep a family together?  Are you MAD?  What in the world is in it for THEM?  s***w salvation, they want to stake their claim on human flesh!

Answer 4

I have been on this website for 3 days now and i have noticed a few members who just want to bash adoption altogether. Your life and/or experience's with adoption may have been bad and I am sorry for this but for MOST of us adoption is a wonderful. It SAVES lives of not just many of the adopted children who would other wise died, been neglected or lingered in foster care. But also for the birth mother. Simply put many of these mothers were incapable of taking care of the child emotionally, and there is nothing a church can do for her in that department.

Answer 5

It sounds to me as though you are just venting your opinion here, without any facts.   The church that we attend (Catholic) sponsors an organization called "CareNet," which is all about keeping mothers and their babies together.  We even have a monthly "shower" when people from the parish are urged to bring in diapers, bottles, formula, etc. to donate to the organization for teen mothers and their babies.  We also have a baby bottle fundraiser a couple of times a year.  Everyone is given a baby bottle as they leave church, and are instructed to fill it with their loose change every day for three weeks, then return it to the church to give to CareNet.   Many people (including myself) put more than just some loose change in these baby bottles.

I am speaking about only my own church, but I have friends who practice different religions than our family, but who are also very helpful and supportive of young mothers who are expecting babies.

Answer 6

I wasn't going to respond to this, I swear.

But, here's me and my two cents...(or sense, hah!)

First of all, Cass, the only people on this particular forum I've seen bashing adoption are ADOPTEES.  You know, the ONLY ones in the adoption process that don't have a choice... the ones that are somehow supposed to benefit from it. (but rarely actually do)

Now I'm adopted too, but I've had a happy experience thus far... of course that could be because it was a private adoption and my nmom was able to choose my parents... and there was no stupid agency pressuring her.

I think the reason these Christian organizations are quick to adopt doesn't have much to do with money (most of them or nonprofit)... maybe it DOES have a little to do with giving wealthy infertile parishioners a child... but I don't think that's the major case either.

I simply think it promotes their pro-life agenda.  What better way is there to keep a woman from getting an abortion than promising her baby (and HER) a better life (which they can't possibly provide.)  I mean, so many scared and vulnerable women have fallen into that trap.

That's my opinion... and I'm prepared for all the thumbs down to come. blah.

ETA:  I just wanted to point out Erin L's answer.  I liked what you had to say about the social power...  I definitely think that has a huge part in it too.  Kudos!

Answer 7

Where do you gather your information from?  I too visit this forum often and I see people from each end of adoption and I don't remember hearing a whole lot of background on the people answering.  I think you are speaking from your own prejudices and not information gathered through the answers on this board.

Answer 8

I get the impression that you are a mother who kept her child, is not abusing him/her, and that you feel like the church isn't helping the two of you.  Have you specifically gone to the pastor to ask for help?  You may want to do that.  Some people hesitate to offer assistance because they don't want to offend.  I think your statement regarding those who endorse adoption is too large a generalization.  I hope your communication with the pastor helps.  Good luck!

Answer 9

Wow.  I wish I knew where you found your statistics here.

Christians contribute more to charity than any other group.  There are Christian organizations connected to adoption, yes.  But there are also many Christian organizations dedicated to assisting young families in need that have nothing to do with adoption.

Can you show me some evidence to say that churches do the least to helping young mothers/families in need?

I can show you where they do quite a bit.

Answer 10

Your question is ignorant and your presupposition absolutely not true.

Answer 11

Im not sure where you get your information or what your issue is.  What makes you say that "Church People" want to separate mothers and their children?

Answer 12

I don't see much of that.  So, I guess you can say that I'm glad I don't attend church where you do.

Answer 13

Your question is off base.  You're making quite a bit of assumptions.

In my area we have many christian groups reaching out to moms and babies.  Have you heard of Young Lives?  It is an organization which helps teen moms and babies through mentoring and peer support.  I went to a training and was touched by how non-judgemental this group is.   I have dear friends in Minnesota, very devout Catholics, who built an apartment onto their house to assist homeless mothers and their children.  They are part of a group who encourages people to use their resources to do this.  We have an organization where I live called Sienna house which supports single, in need mothers of any background.  There is no agenda or coercion. They care for and support mothers. I could go on.  If you would like more info, though I could send it to you.

It seems you are only seeing what you want to see.  Maybe the question is not what are others not doing, but what are YOU doing?  Are you part of the solution?

Answer 14

I hear what you're saying.  A lot of individuals in the "moral majority" are really incredibly uncharitable, which really is against the tenets of their proclaimed faith.  But then, you would think such family loving, moral people would be outraged by children being molested by clergy, also.  Go figure.    

On the other hand, on a personal note, I actually feel pretty personally indebted to the Catholic Church.  My husband's family immigrated to the U.S when he was a child.  The Catholic Church did a lot to keep my husband's family together and help them through horribly rough times.  The Catholic Church also sponsered life saving medical care for my daughter in her country of origin before she joined our family.

I'm not sure that the lack of helping a young mother in need is so much about religion as it is about social power.  For instance, those people most powerful in the church social system aren't the pregnant girls, but the family wanting a baby.  I guess the social power thing trumps the values the organization is supposed to hold.

Answer 15

Is there something that your struggling with?

Not to sound rude, but it sounds like you have a large amount of hurt happening.

Feel free to drop me a line.

Answer 16

Who are these people you speak of? I've noticed lately that a lot of your questions do quite a bit of generalizing, but never seem to be followed up with any facts.

I am not particularly religious, however, I know people who are and there is always some bake sale or car wash created to help someone in need.

What exactly do you want people to do? We already pay a huge amount of tax and some of us support charitable organizations from women's shelters to the United Way. Would you like people to simply hand over their paycheques to keep a family together.

I know plenty of strong single moms living close to the edge of poverty that are busting their asses to provide for their children without handouts.