Why is it that when there are relationship problems about 60% of everyone's answers are "LEAVE"!!?

Question

Is this really the only option? If someone in the relationship is frustrated with their partner and at their wits-end on ignoring the issues and they are reaching out to Y/A! for solutions, why is the most common solution "pack your bags"?

Answer 1

Not really, but about 60% of the relationship questions are about one of the partners/bfs/gfs cheating, and in that case the person should leave

Answer 2

Pure laziness.  The majority of people, nowadays, do not want to take the effort required to stay.  It's just easier to give up.

Answer 3

What's your answer? People continue to take c**p? Wife let the husband beat her until she's dead? Husband put up with wife who cheats on her and passes off babies as his when it's clear they are not?

Everyone loves to go on and on about "going to counseling" and "working on your marriage" and they self-righteously imply that those who get divorced haven't done those things...

but what happens when the counseling doesn't work the magic everyone claims it will?  In some cases, the only one "enriched" by the experience is the analyist...after they bill the insurance!

What if one of the partners makes it clear that they absolutely DO NOT want to work at the relationship and they simply want out? In fact, they unexpectedly blurt out in the counseling session "I don't love you. I've not loved you for a long time."  This is what happened to me...after 6 years of what I thought was a "happy marriage."

After that, what other option do you have?

Waste time in a loveless marriage waiting for them to come around?

Smile while they flaunt their lovers in your face? Laugh when you're at a doctor's office getting tested for an STI when you KNOW you didn't cheat?

Say it's ok ... when you put up with various forms emotional abuse such as them making rude and desparaging jokes about you and in front of you to your children, co-workers and neighbors or just plain ignoring you?  

To hold back tears when you discover that you've been dropped you off insurance policies and the floozy put on it instead?

Bite back the humiliation and make excuses for them you feel when you find out they've been trying to erase you off bank accounts?

Reel in shock but still hold your head up high when you discover they've been opening up separate credit card accounts to buy their girlfriends jewelry while you have count every penny to do laundry or get simple groceries because they tell you money is tight?

Or just simply wait for them to unceremoniously dump you via abandonment ...and then you put on a brave face and tell your children and the world everything is OK...while secretly you spend the rest of your life feeling like a failure because you couldn't keep your husband???

ALL of these things is what happened to me...within three years after said counseling session...because I just had to listen to everyone else tell me to  "stay and try to work things out!"

No, leaving isn't the only option, but sometimes it's the most sensible one. Some marriages simply can't be saved no matter what. I only wish I had been the one courageous enough to leave instead of winding up being the one getting left behind!

EDIT

back in '89, there was no yahoo!answers to go to, or the internet...so had to deal with things alone.

Answer 4

I think because it's the easiest thing to do, move, leave and start over.  However I don't believe in that.  I believe in sticking it thru untile you or that person (by God) is removed.

Answer 5

You're right.  I stay.  I cheat incessantly.  I treat my wife like c**p.  But I stay.  Trust fund's really important to me.

Answer 6

Because people are dumb and don't know what marriage is, even most of the ppl in a marriage don't know what it is.

Answer 7

It's easier to type. Watch:

"Leave."

"Work out your problems and see a counselor."

See?

Answer 8

Because by the time the person resorts to asking the question on Yahoo Answers, it's a lost cause, and there is no other alternative.  

Answer 9

i think that if you're coming to yahoo answers with relationship problems then you're at the point where you want to leave and you just want someone else to tell you that it's ok

Answer 10

Because everyone is living out their own wishes throught the people posting their problems.  I do anyway.  :)

Answer 11

Those morons are usually all under the age of 30.

I think it's stupid too......one woman actually said this today:

"If your husband does something he knows upsets you, you should leave him"

I'm like, "WTF"?  If I left every time my husband upset me, I'd never be home!  LMFAO!

Answer 12

Because society in general has become lazy and complacent.  It is much easier to tell someone to leave than it is to tell them to honor their vows and try to work things out.  Emotionally, it is easier to leave than to work out your differences.  It's often not easier financially or legally when you have houses and kids involved, but sometimes it's easier to deal with all that than it is your own emotions.  

Of course, some people truly are at their wits end and have exhausted all attempts to salvage the marriage.  In that case, divorce is the best option, but I find that for most of the cases I see here, leaving is not the way to solve the problem.  For instance, telling a woman to leave because her husband won't help with the housework.  How lame of a reason is that?

Answer 13

Being in a bad relationship is one of the hardest things in the world to live with. I think that all of us who have experienced it wish we could just up and leave and be rid of it. But it's not that easy because we often have kids or don't have a job to support ourselves, or whatever. Nobody wants to be in a relationship that they have to work to "fix". If you have the means and the opportunity, and there are no kids to have to support, then I think everyone would say leave.

Answer 14

I would say because it's easier to leave than to confront the issue in the relationship. However, for some people out there the only thing left to do is in fact leave. I guess it all depends on the situation.  

Answer 15

I think "Pack your bags!" is the most common solution because they are at their wits-end, over trying to sort out the issues, frustrated with their partner and especially Reaching out to Yahoo Answers for help!

There is only so much that Yahoo Answers can do and most of the time we are asking because we just want someone to give the answer we are hoping for and if people weren't hoping for the go ahead to pack their bags an leave then I'm sure they would sugar coat the situation and make it sounds a lot less of a problem than it is.

But that's just my opinion!

Answer 16

Well it all depends on the issue we all know once a cheater (in that specific relationship) always a cheater.  And we know a dead beat when they describe one.  yeah its hard to leave the house and bills blah blah blah but if one is unhappy and has thought about leaving then do it why try to fix something that is already broken?  

Why even get married for that fact.  I am completely in love with my live in bf ( i would love to marry him but if we don't i would still ove him and it would make it easier to leave him if the need arises which it never will)and we have never NEVER had a reall hard core arguement.  And that is bc we set the rules upon entering each others lives.  

I can only get hurt so many times when enough is enough.  Its pack your bage bc they want to see what others would do in their scenerio.  

Answer 17

The moronic answer. As if it's so easy to walk out of a relationship that has lasted say more than 10 years.

So yeah..."leave". Forget the kids, the house, the cars, the bank accounts, the bills and credit and everything else.

I suspect that's why many people here are asking what to do. because when the time arrives in their lives that this question arises they honestly don't know what to do when confronted with all the incidentals of life.

Answer 18

I learned my lesson about that.  When I was young and my dad was drinking and calling my mom5 nights a week at 2 in the morning to pick him up at a bar I was sure the answer was Leave him.  Years later he was sober and my mom became extremely ill and my dad did everything in his power for her for years, until she had a transplant.   I am so grateful she had him and that she did not leave him.  It sure humbled my response.  

Answer 19

It is the easy answer from one who has absolutely no emotional investment in the matter.

It is the easy answer from a person who feels it is better to quit than work to a solution.

It is the easy answer from selfish people who do not understand tolerance and compromise.  They only see divorce as the solution due to their own inability to give a little.

Answer 20

It's short and easy to type for people who are too lazy to expend the effort to think of creative solutions.  Unfortunately, most people seem to answer questions for their 2 points each, not to help the person who asked the question.  I find their lack of effort contemptible.

Answer 21

Because a lot of people just don't want to expend the effort to stay in a relationship, so there answers are always leave.  It is just too much work.  But of course in a case like emotional and physical abuse, leave would be the only option I would write. But everything else, I believe (even cheating) can be worked out if both parties are up for it.