Why is it we do things that hurt us?

Question

why do i feel this why all the time?

i feel alone and that becuz i have been alone for so long that i want to be alone now and it hurts to be alone why is it this way? why is it when some one is alone for so long that they feel like they want to be alone? why is it when some has been alone for so long when they find some they like they mess it up some how? i fear that i like to be alone now days but i know i need to be with some one who needs me. what should i do? when im alone i feel like im alive and dieing at the same time how does this mean? when i am with her i feel like im not wothless that i have a life to loss or keep. why is it when im not with her i feel like i dont have anything to loss? why is it when i see her i feel a need to cry? why is it when she is sad i feel like my heart is gone and what is there is cold and un careing? why is it that when she tells me how some one hurt her all i can think about is two things one how i can get her to be happy and two how i can hurt the one who hurt her? why do i feel a need to take care of her so much so that i dont think anyone is good enough for her? why is it when i think of that i dont get sad think well if no is good enough for her then that means me too but i get happy thinking no one is good enough for her and she likes me? what should i do? i feel like i have two minds on this. why do i feel this way? its like i want to know but i dont want to know. the only thing i know is if she ask me to do something anything i will do it and feel good enough to be alive becuz she ask me for help. what does this say about me? is it good or bad? why cant i see for my self what i think about it?

red or green

bule or sad

sad or mad

mad or life

Answer 1

why do i feel this why all the time?

i feel alone and that becuz i have been alone for so long that i want to be alone now and it hurts to be alone why is it this way?

Hmm...I know how you feel. I am an introvert myself and I have a hard time dealing with social situations. Once one adjusts oneself to an environment that is lacking of any real interaction with people, he or she becomes uncomfortable with any other situation. This can sprout from your childhood lifestyle: for example, if you were a kid that liked to play alone, you are more likely to fuel this kind of characteristic when you are older. Lonliness is not always realized in youth but because of the manner in which the human mind is built, because every human mind is dependent upon some kind of interaction with another being, the feeling of lonliness becomes very prominent.

why is it when some has been alone for so long when they find some they like they mess it up some how?

Here you are speaking about being able to contribute to someone else's emotions. I understand that being anti-social makes it very difficult for a person to be able to express some emotion to others, whether a loved one or a friend or whoever it may be. In fact, most of the time, it is MORE difficult for lonely people like us to express ourselves to the people we love the most because we are either afraid they will not understand, or we are afraid we will hurt them. You do not have to spend hours with them telling them everything, but sitting down with someone every once in a while and talking is a big help. You do not need to feel as if you are not contributing to the relationship: as long as you are there for them and as long as you are willing to lend a listening ear (which I know you are), this person will be grateful to have you there with them.

when im alone i feel like im alive and dieing at the same time how does this mean?

This my friend is lonliness, yes. Lonliness does this to you. Sometimes it gets to the point where it really hurts. There is a chamber in the human mind that greatly depends on human interaction, regardless of whether we like it or not. That is just the way we have been built. You see it in animals. You see it in flowers even. It's one of the laws of nature I suppose: interaction. When one is lacking such interaction, regardless of the fact that one is used to this emptiness, it begins to hurt. It is almost like living without food or water for months on end. Except this is with emotion and hurt emotions are more painful than physical pain.

when i am with her i feel like im not wothless that i have a life to loss or keep. why is it when im not with her i feel like i dont have anything to loss? why is it when i see her i feel a need to cry?

I think the reason for this is this: you have finally found someone whom you can trust with all your heart. This person has touched you in a way that no one else has been able to. And because of this, you are greatly moved by them. When one is lonely all his/her life, anyone who is able to fill this lonely gap becomes crucial. Because your thirst for interaction (whether you see it/choose to acknowledge it or not) has finally been quenched. You say "hy is it when i see her i feel a need to cry": this is partly because you are afraid of losing her and ending up alone again, and partly because you are moved by the positive impact she has on your life. I know when I see something/someone beautiful, I am moved to tears.

why is it when she is sad i feel like my heart is gone and what is there is cold and un careing? why is it that when she tells me how some one hurt her all i can think about is two things one how i can get her to be happy and two how i can hurt the one who hurt her? why do i feel a need to take care of her so much so that i dont think anyone is good enough for her? why is it when i think of that i dont get sad think well if no is good enough for her then that means me too but i get happy thinking no one is good enough for her and she likes me?

This thinking shows that you truly do care for her. Everyone hates seeing their loved ones hurt. It is the most painful thing in the world. It is more painful than being hurt directly. For example, I have a sick brother and I am constantly wishing I could take his disease away from him. The thing is, I cant, as much as that may hurt to know. However, I can try to make things better for him. I can spend time with him and help him when he needs me. And you as well: you don't need to seek revenge. Rather, you need to comfort her and love her.

Another thing, although we are all different (different hair colours, different minds, different skin colours, different smiles and laughs and tears), in the end, we all bleed the same colour. In the end we are all human. So don't ever think that you are not good enough for her because you are. and she is lucky to have someone who cares so much about her.

Answer 2

It is time for you to get some help for depression. Also some counseling. Time to let go and start again.

Answer 3

I think you have gotten used to being alone, and even relish the idea that you don't need anyone.  But on the other hand, you're LONELY.  I also think you're scared to admit that you need someone, because that would be admitting to yourself that you're vulnerable, and you don't like it.  As for people that mess things up with someone they think may be important to them, they do it because it's way easier to reject someone than be rejected.  As for everything else, I think you know the answer to that.  Read the last 20 sentences out loud to yourself.  

Answer 4

I honestly could only read a few lines of this but to answer your question your routine becomes comfortable