Why is it we only have the rights we can afford to have?

Question

I have been disabled since 1997 due to the abuse of my Ex. In 2005 after being begged by my children to leave ( after his last go around of running around with a gun ) Their father wanted nothing to do with them until I filled for custody and at that time he hired an lawyer and has done what he always had threatened me he would do if I ever left him...

''Take the children away''

despite the fact that they wrote affidavits about his abusive ways. The judge went agenst Tx law in giving custody to an questionable domestic Violence abuser... I am now being sued for support that wasn't ordered in the divorce because of my SSI ..He has taken all visitation away from me by phone & myspace etc and threatened me with harassment if I call again to speak with them...( even though I live in our hometown 500 miles away & thats the main way I have for a relationship) I am facing jail now because of back support that I can't pay & was ordered to pay by a judge that ignored the fact that I am disabled and responsible for a 6,600 miles of travel for visitation a year on 600$ a mth SSI ( I gave him EVERYTHING in our divorce to make up for that fact ) The children have been bruised for talking to my family and are scared to testify agienst him since they seem to never be listen to and have to pay for what they say once they are taken back home with their father.....

I AM AT A LOSS!!! I don't know what to do at this point....I understand paying for your children I AGREE! However if I have given him EVERYTHING in the Divorce -and that was a lot ( 401k..bank accounts,all household belongings ect) - in order to make up for being on SSI that HE GAVE ME the disabilities to begin with - WHAT THE HECK!!! Is there anyone that truly stands up for the children ?????? They are SICK of their Father and have always wanted to be with me..Yet it seems since he is a Bounty Hunter in their town - laws doesn't seem to apply to him...... NOT TO MENTION has loads of money for tummy tucks...belly bands...etc yet can't carry Insurance on the children that was ordered by the judge..

Why is it that we are only able to have the rights we can afford to have???

All I want is the children Safe and someone to listen to them and HELP them !

NOT ME or My Ex...THE CHILDREN! Why can't I find these ppl? Child protective services only send out letters stating ''No need for investigation'' when the child has snuck calls to me to tell me they are bruised up from him being mad!!! and I call to ask them to PLEASE just go and look and talk with the children.....Only to be treated like I am trying to cause trouble....The children have even mentioned running away on account of the abuse....They battle depression and say to me..'' I thought to myself mom that if you where here you would help me'' IT IS KILLING ME!!! I am a mother that tried to leave and abuser and all that has happened is what he has always used to keep me there..

'' I WILL MAKE YOU PAY AND YOU WILL NEVER HAVE YOUR CHILDREN''

CAN ANYONE HELP PLEASE !? I am in MO...he is in TX ...

SOMEONE is dropping the ball here and one day it is going to be tolate...THEN WHAT will the excuse be on national news?????

Thanks for your time and Understanding

PLEASE if your just going to try to judge me leave me be...I have been through enough and I am not asking for me I am asking for the children to be heard....

Answer 1

If your children are being abused by your ex-husband, you need to get to the court where your divorce was granted and file an ex par tee motion for custody.  This is an emergency motion for a custody hearing.

In your motion, request that a guardian at litem be assigned for the children.  This is an impartial third party that decides what is in the best interest of the children.  Make sure you write your motion in a professional manner, do not bring up the past and do not make statements that you cannot back up.

The guardian at litem depending upon the age of your children will interview the children, your ex and anyone who resides in the home, and yourself.  If your children are in the court’s opinion old enough to testify that they would like to be placed in your custody, the court will allow their testimony.  If not, do not worry the guardian at litem is there to testify on their behalf.  

Guardians at litem’s are appointed by the court and there is a fee.  However, you can complete a financial affidavit and the fee can be waived or reduced and a payment plan can be arranged.  Usually, the court makes both parents split the cost of the guardian at litem.

In addition, I would file a motion to revisit the child support order on the basis that you are permanently disabled and collect SSI.  Child support is not allowed to be deducted from SSI benefits, because it is considered a poverty level payment by the government.  If you were collecting SSDI, your SSDI benefits would be attached for the child support order.

Also, I am assuming that you cannot afford an attorney and he can.  In this instance, I would contact a domestic violence agency and they will provide an advocate to provide support.  One organization I can think of is called “A Safe Place”, I do not know if they offer services in your area, but I would give them a call at 1-800-600-SAFE or visit the web site at www.asafeplaceforhelp.org.  Another agency you could contact to find an agency in your area is the National Domestic Violence Agency at 1-800-799-7233 or visit the web site at www.ndvh.org.

Without getting into personal details, this is the most information that I can offer.  If you would like to discuss your case further, please send me an email.

Best wishes.

Answer 2

Do you have a lawyer?  If not, go to legal aid or your state bar and get one.  You need more help than a free advice board can give.