Why is it when a man tries to play fair, the wife...?

Question

In my divorce I've only told the truth and answered questions asked by my attorney and our child custody mediator. I never talked bad or revealed faults my wife had during our marriage. I felt devoted as her husband and did not want to talk bad about my wife, eventhough she had made mistakes. I learned to accept them and move on. Now it is being revealed that she has told the mediator I am a bad father and an alcoholic. I admit to have a few beers a couple times a week and going out with the guys every couple of months, but not a drunken fool everyday. Plus, she stated I was never home physically and emotionally. Meanwhile, I cooked dinner five nights a week, kept up the yard and cleaned the house. She drank while she was breast feeding our child, but would pump and dump the next day. She would drink a few beers and drive home with our child in the car. She would drink when stressed, a couple of pitchers of margaritas. I helped her out with these problems and supported her. Now, I have hit bottom and she keeps kicking. Why is she doing this? I want to be her husband and a father to our child.

Answer 1

I wouldn't say all wives are like that, but some women think it's best to not play fair, and I think it's disgusting.  It could be that it's her actual perception--she sees things that way even though you don't.  Who knows?  All you can really do is hold your head high and continue to be honest.  I think it's sad that she's acting like a child.  I'm sorry that you're in this predicament! :-(

Answer 2

People often do not play fair in a divorce. Right now your wife hates you or is very angry with you and wants to hurt you. If she makes you look like the bad parent she thinks she will get full custody of your child and leave you with nothing, therefor hurting you. That's what it is all about at this point. Its not right, its childish, its not the way to handle things. Unfortunately the only thing you win in this situation is knowing you handled yourself like an adult, with respect, and tried to do the right thing.

Having a child together means you will be linked to her forever in some way. Remember to never bad mouth your childs mom in front of him. When your child grows up he or she will remember how you were always the bigger parent and didnt stoop to moms level. Believe it or not, you will get over her and the hurt she put you through. As long as you dont play her games, doing so will only prolong your healing. Someday the right girl will come along and you will not waste another tear on this woman who hurt you. For now focus on being a good father to your child.

Good luck in the future.  

Answer 3

Sorry, you are going through this, I hope the best for you.  What got her so angry with you?  Are you really all the great in the marriage?

Answer 4

Nice guys always finish last and no good deed will go unpunished.  Get the nastiest pit bull attorny you can and go for the jugular.

Answer 5

All's fair in love and war. You are at war but blinded by love.

Pick yourself up, dude. You need to fight with a clear head. It only gets worse. Knock off with the booze. You had better have gotten a lawyer like I recommended way way back.

Answer 6

If her accusations are not true then she is doing everything in her power for you not to have custody of the children.  Why would you want to be a husband to this lady if she is making accusations.

Answer 7

because it's toooooo late!  

you should have your Best when you were with her.