Why is life so difficult?

Question

I am just 14...i realised that I like boys(i am boy as well) and my heart pains... I fancy this one guy..i really do but I cant tell it because then people will blacken my life in school which i dont really want:( and also i dream each night about boys and i cant stop im so frightened that if my parents find out they will kill me as they are homophobes...what to do i am so confused

Answer 1

Just keep it to yourself till you're a little older and then the right time to tell your parents will come around.  The first step to coming out is disclosing it with a few select people. Such as us.  So you're on your way.  No need to rush it, especially if your parents are homophobes.

Answer 2

If you're worried about being judged that's understandable. I say just fake it until you get out of your parents house. That's what i did. i was dating a guy, then sneaking around with my girlfriend. I know this is'nt the best advice, but it worked for me.  

Answer 3

ok well dont listen to the 1st answers..... im also 14 and im bi (im a girl) well get a boyfriend and the dreams will stop and if i were you i wouldnt tell your parents till your like 18 or something around there.. there going to think its a stage....so tell them later....i have the same problem....but you just have to take a risk and go for it. as long as your true to yourself no one will care... if they say anything to you just walk away and adnore them....as long as your happy is all that matters.

Answer 4

Well i'm not g*y (straight crossdresser @16 here) but at my all boys school there are around 6 g*y and bisexual people that have come out, most people are fine with that, a few comments here and there but nothing ever said in front of the person in question, you would be surprised...

if you are thinking of telling your friends get them to watch 'Chuck and Larry' (film) and gage their reactions, the same can be done with you're parents but you may want to avoid them, there is a phrase which someone told me and i think is great: "don't come out of the closet until it's your closet" basically don't tell the parents until you've moved out and they can't do anything about it...

Message me if there is anything more i can help with, i've had to face the same sort of predicament about my crossdressing so whilst i won't be able to help you in all aspects i should be able to help with some.

oh one more thing, people are more accepting if you tell them you're BI, that way you are still close to their way of thinking (from their view anyway)

Answer 5

Look man Im 20 and pretty positive I'm g*y.  I dream about my perfect guy and us having a great life together in the future.  I am awake when I fantasize about it in the shower.  And I don't really sleep and dream at the same time, so to make up for the fact that my brain won't allow me to dream of it while I sleep I day dream and fantasize about it very often while I am awake.  I get your family members not knowing and that being tough.  If you really need to talk about it to someone I am more than willing to talk about it with you.  There's just one rule.  Our conversations have to stay Pg-13.  If you are okay with the rule and wanna talk, I am ready and waiting.

Answer 6

Your life, at times, IS going to be difficult. There is no point sitting here and telling you life will be great all the time, because that's simply not true. But being g*y won't ruin your life!

Schoolkids can be cruel. I do think it is wise for teens whilst at school to try and get through their studies without revealing too much of their sexual orientation simply because bullies can be cruel and can make your life h**l and it will make your grades suffer (and grades can be important). Later on in school people mature and accept homosexuals more, because they realise it's a way of life. You're fourteen and so are your friends - you're still very immature (I'm not meaning to sound nasty, it's just that you are just a teenager and haven't fully developed yet, and that isn't a bad thing!).

As for your parents...they won't hate you. They might be homophobic but you are their flesh and blood, do you really believe they'd hate their own son? Parents can be difficult and all of them react in different ways to learning their child is g*y. But they won't find out...unless you decide to tell them! They can't read your thoughts, nor can they infiltrate those dreams you have about other boys. Don't worry - you don't have to come out until your ready.

Lastly, my best advice would be to wait for a little bit. When I was 14, yes I knew I was g*y but I was also struggling with maybe thinking I could end up being straight etc...I told a few very very close friends I was a little confused about my sexuality but mainly I left everything alone until I was 16 and felt a little more mature to accept who I was and start exploring my sexuality. You've got loads of time to find a boyfriend and meet like-minded guys etc. Have some patience, and best wishes :)

Answer 7

Its not your fault your g*y but its natural to like women so be natural just get a girlfriend and kiss her and see if you like it,i bet you do,Its real real good.Your just confused thats all but when you grow up you will realise that women are awesome.

Answer 8

I would encourage you to keep quiet, have a few 'close friends'...until you go away to college and develop some closer 'friends'...  After college you can get a job, your own place and date whomever you like...