Why is losing your virginity...?

Question

such a big deal?

i'm totally ready to have s*x with my boyfriend, we'd use every kind of protection available to us and we wouldn't be stupid. i'm just wondering why THAT act is so important in American society (if not all). without being too explicit, other things have entered that region, but as soon as it's a man's .."organ", it's a huge deal.

i understand that there's the Christianity aspect, and the pregnancy factor in it but honestly. the only reason i feel not ready is because society is telling me not to...even though i really want to!

Answer 1

It is your choice when. Don't let ANYONE decide for you. From my own experiences of loosing it at 13, you are not likely to stay with that guy for ever even if you feel like he is the one. Once it's gone, it can't come back and if you break up, it hurts a lot worse if you've had s*x. Trust me I've learned a lot about that in my 29 years of crappy luck with guys. I am now married to a great guy and as much as I love my kids, it would have been nice to have waited for him. Whatever you decide, you have to live with forever,so good luck and God Bless you in this decision. I will throw a Christian aspect on this and pray for you to find the answer that you need.  

Answer 2

Because once you lose it you can never take it back.

But if YOU feel that you are ready then nobody can tell you that it's wrong. You're not breaking the law. Everyone has their own opinion. There's always a majority on an opinion and nothing wrong if you believe something else.

You seem to know that protect is a good idea if you don't want to get pregnant.

Answer 3

Mostly because once you start having s*x regularly, you will start to be more lax about using protection, which then leads to the problems of unplanned pregnancy and/or STDs.

Atleast you aren't someone who is having s*x because you feel like society is telling to go out and do it.

Answer 4

because we started as a religious society and we a religious society now.

Answer 5

Another main issue is that when a girl or boy has s*x at such a young age, they might be in this mind setting that the person they're giving their flower to [Monica from Friends lol] is the person that's going to be with them forever. Unfortunately that's not the case, and a lot of young people might have some emotional issues when their boyfriend or girlfriend is no longer with them and wish they could have saved it for someone else that will be there probably a lot longer than their first.

Answer 6

You, and your virginity,  are the most precious gifts you can ever give to a man ~ hopefully, that will be one man for life.  The more "pieces" of yourself you give away, the less you will have when you fall in love and want to make a lifelong commitment.  When you do settle down, if you have created memories with other men, those memories are like haunting skeletons in the closet.  It's best not to "compare."  s*x is a  wonderful plan of God which He designed for pleasure within the scope of marriage.     Please be very careful.  Don't give away casually your most precious gift.

Answer 7

Christianity is not that big in the american culture, i can tell by the music videos.

as old as you may think you are your brain has not developed as much as your body. s*x is not just physical but emotional. most teens who have had s*x have said they regretted it later on. you can do whatever you want, and no one can stop you from doing what you really want to do. Just be aware that YOU opened yourself up and whatever happens its your job to take responsibilty.  

Answer 8

Generally for women especially s*x is a very emotional act not just physical. It really is the closest you can physically be with another person and this represents huge things to many people. Also because you're first time is something that can never be repeated. It's an individual thing if you feel ready and don't see what the big deal is then you go for it. It's not a big deal for everyone.

Answer 9

Many religions and cultures view virginity are a purity factor and that it is a gift to be given to your spouse on your wedding night.  That doesn't mean everyone feels that way but many religions and cultures do still follow that belief.  

Answer 10

Because they is only one first time

Having s*x is giving yourself to someone, most people do not understand that

Answer 11

In some ancient cultures, respectable women were not aloud to leave their house without a male escort or look other men in the eyes. That still happens in some parts of the world today. I think we've come a long way from then, but we still hold on to some of our puritan roots. Back in the days of cave men, when all the people in the tribe lived in one large cave together and kids would see the s*x act and they would pretend with their other friends as a way of learning. What it comes down to is that a society's cultural norms effect the way we interpret or react to certain milestone events in our lives. While people will tell you that you are not emotionally ready for s*x, it is your decision but you must realize that people will judge you for the choices you make and those judgements may or may not effect your state of being. I say, if you are ready then go for it. For me, I didn't know when I was ready until it came up. It had come up before but I knew that I wasn't ready and so I waited. But when it came up again I knew I was. Good Luck!

Answer 12

Your body has the ability to have s*x, yet you rob yourself of the act of making love with someone who's a keeper. It is also self-disrespect, if you think about giving the most vulnerable part of you away (s*x=soul), without any situation that signifies long-term commitment.

Most young women enter into relationships (boys, too) as a way to fix parental problems. We make these decisions before having the truly developed, mature brain in which to do so. (Think about a 12 year old girl wanting to have s*x because she wants to. From the other side of life, you'll one day view your own situation in that way.)

I don't think it has anything to do with Christianity or American society. It does complicate a time of life that has the opportunity for least complication. If you'd like some objective moral reasons, that I think will help you find your own answer in one way or the other, there's an author who addresses your very question in a way that has empowered many women to make a choice that's right for them. Her name is Laura Schlessinger, and the book for unmarried women is Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives.

If you're planning to have s*x, then nothing in the book or any other suggestions will matter. If you want to hear a non-oppressive voice of wisdom, though, give yourself a couple of days to read the book before, perhaps, making a choice you can never take back, and that might only matter when you find a man down the line who deserves you body and soul, and cherishes you with his own life in response.

Answer 13

it can be such a big deal because it can be a bad experience (you friends and family are worried for that reason) but sometimes it is a good one. Personally i think 16 and over is a good age but only if your really ready you have spoken to your family and you have protection. Your family religion doesn't have to be your religion so don't worry about that :)

Answer 14

dont forget about STD's!!!!!!!!!!!

i mean its your choice not the society... i mean yes the society is right with saying no dont do it till marriage but if you want to go right ahead...

Answer 15

it's YOU'RE choice whether or not to have s*x, NOT the society. If you feel ready, responsible and safe, then do it.  

Answer 16

well heres one thing that could happen.

youve got your whole life ahead of you, your going to college great boyfriend and you do it, a couple weex later

oh shitt im pregnant. you drop out of college hurry up and marry this guy becaus eyour pregnant, and the in a couple years get divorced and you get the kid and you can barely make it cuz without a college degree all you can get is minimum wage.

or you get an std and dnt know it. you and your bf break up and you do it with another guy. then he gets th std. you dnt have the painful side affects but he does. then you feel awful! therse alot of toher things that can happen to. think of the possibilites!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Answer 17

Whether it is your first time having s*x or starting to have s*x with a new boyfriend 9een if it is your 12th boyfriend and you have had s*x plenty of other times), s*x is a big deal. It means that the relationship is going to a new level. It means that the relationship is a serious one and that you are willing to take on the consequences if something unplanned were to occur. s*x is never "just s*x" even if you really think that it is all there is. Even for men, there is always some sort of emotional connection between those two people. s*x is also something that has to be talked about between two people before it happens. Answers to "what if" questions, plans of action on birth control, and a discussion of what exactly it means to both of you to be going into this next stage of your relationship.

If you are ready for it, then who are we to say that you should not? Just make sure that it is something that YOU want to do. And make sure that you are ready for the emotional aspect of it too. and make sure to have a talk with your boyfriend about it before hand. You have already discussed birth control and condoms and not to "pull out" because it doesn't work, but have you discussed your relationship. He may not know that more will be expected of him when you two have s*x. You may not know that he wants everything to stay the same but still have s*x. If you were to become pregnant, what would you do. Make sure to talk about these things.  

Answer 18

Your body might be telling you that you are ready, but that is called hormones. You do sound like a mature eloquent girl who does have her act and facts together. I think that it is a big deal because you can never take it back. There are no do overs when it comes to s*x. In my religion (Catholic) nothing enters that region until your wedding night. Not a man's p***s, a finger, a s*x toy.....nada. It is a way of staying pure. Anyways, if you know your boyfriend is the one and you love him, if you think of the long run, you have years to be with him.....lets say you are 15 years old and you live to 100 with the way modern medical advances are today and you being a women, that is very possible. That means you have 85 years to have s*x. If you think long term, what would waiting those 3 years until you are 18 and married hurt? That means you have 82 years to have s*x instead of 85 years. Not much difference there.

My mom told me this: If you have to question s*x even a little bit, then you aren't ready. You will have no doubts or questions when you are ready.