Why is money a BIG issue for the marriage?

Question

I mean I don't understand. You just make money, that's all. You pay for the house, taxes, and other stuff. So simple but in marriages, money is a big issue for them. Why?

Also, is that the reason for many divorces?

Answer 1

Its a big issure when you dont have it and have to bicker over little stressful stuff. Well sometimes its not so little.  

Answer 2

Men have to be in control and controlling the money is one of the largest.  My ex could go to the tavern and spend $50.00 each night buying drinks for his friends and bar b*****s, but if I asked him to stop and get me a soda I was "stealing" from him.

He considered it "our" money but he was the only one who could say how to spend it.  Our kids didn't have anything to play on outside so I used money from our savings account to buy a small swing set (2 & 4 year olds) and he accused me of stealing from him.  I worked for that money too and made more of it than he did.  I had more taxes withheld and yet he demanded that HE command where the money went.  That meant he got what he wanted and I had to beg for shoes for the kids and new underwear for me.

Answer 3

Because when people are single, they spend their money the way they want to because it's THEIR money. But when they get married and the expenses have to be divided or they have different ideas of how money should be spend and what to spend it on, it can become a BIG issue. How would you like it if you saved up all this money for say.......a fancy weekend trip, and your spouse went out and bought a big screen tv with it?? Not too cool, huh?

It's definitely something that should be discussed BEFORE getting married!

Answer 4

Money isnt a big issue in my marriage my husband and I have an understanding...bills, savings, fun money. Its in that order. We dont spend money unless bills and savings money is put away, and it works well for us. Only when people dont have that understanding does money become and issue.  

Answer 5

I think money is a big cause of divorce in this country.  It's a big deal for some marriages, especially if both people do not agree on how it should be spent, saved or whatever.  Maybe one wants to save all the money for retirement but one wants to go on two or three vacations a year....I could see how it would be a problem if the couple couldn't agree.

Answer 6

Because money is what is core to our survival.  Scarcity of any important resource causes people to fight, clamor, connive, cheat and do whatever else.  Also since marriage is a cooperative arrangement many people have a hard time cooperating when it comes to something as powerful as money.

In addition, money, because it is powerful in the sense of how we need it to survive, is often used as a tool of control and abuse in some marriages.  So although the claim may be that money is the issue, oftentimes, other issues lie below that.

Answer 7

Yes, it is, because you never agree on who is going to pay for what, and if one of the two isn't responsible the other gets upset and there starts the problems, I believe if you talk and come to an agreement then find, but if one of the two starts doing things without talking, like using the credit cards and when the time comes doesn't have enough to pay then the house suffers because something gets put off and there starts the arguments,which eventually lead to divorce.

Answer 8

Financial problems are the biggest reason for  most divorces. . .Ever heard the saying, money can't buy happiness, it is true but financial security sure as h**l can. Not worrying about money all the time makes your life  almost stress free.,..

Answer 9

It's a BIG issue because couples don't always have the same GOALS.  What you listed here is too simple.  You work, you pay rent, and that's it.  What if your husband is determined to buy a Z06 Corvette and you have to live on rice for the next 5 years?  Imagine the fight that would cause LOL!  Welcome to my World.  What if YOU thought it would be better to put a down payment on a HOUSE?  Hmmm.

Answer 10

well i guess its um for example. you are rich and a man likes you for the money so then he'll marry you then take over the money and vise versa if yuo get what im saying

also, just incase the person dies they take it all.

poeple love the money cuz tehy think its eveything in the world. personally i dotn think so.

salam

Answer 11

What a lot of couples don't understand is that if you don't have money, arguing about it isn't going to make it suddenly appear. So when the couple runs into financial problems and start arguing it is an ongoing issue that is is not resolvable, thus it disintegrates into "unfair fighting" like name calling and accusations that leads to further problems and hurt feelings.

What does work is for the couple to sit down and go over the budget together, communicating and cooperating in order to figure how to go forward. For instance, my husband just lost his job due to his company closing down. We have had to reprioritize some things and cut out others. By doing this together, we both know where the money is going and what needs to be addressed. Yes, we both get stressed out about it from time to time but we are able to acknowledge that the stress is to be expected and can comfort each other rather than fighting.