Why is my 5 year old so ungrateful for the things he receives?

Question

It doesn't matter if he gets an ice cream cone or a toy, he always pouts and wants more. For example, today, he and his sisters were making snow cones. All three kids had a lot of fun. His response was, "I only get one?" We are not ones to indulge the kids by giving out extra servings of sweets so we haven't set a precedence for that response. He does it with everything from things we do to desert.

We've tried the "jesus gave you the power to be grateful" route, but it has done NOTHING.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Answer 1

I know this sounds harsh, but I would start to teach him that if he isn't polite and grateful for what he gets, then he will get nothing.

For example, if he is not polite and demands more sweets, then you take away the ones he has now. In the short term this will lead to a lot of screaming and a big fuss and likely a time out, but in the long run it will teach him to be poilte and not demand more constantly.

I would tell him that he is a big boy now and it is time to be polite. He must say please and thank you, and appreciate that he could have received nothing. Try to explain the difference between rights and priviledges-- to eat dinner and wear a warm coat when it's cold is a right, but to get treats and play in the swimming pool is a priviledge. If he cannot appreciate the "extras" then he will not get them.

Answer 2

sounds like your preschooler has toddler issues....ya know  "mine" "now" .....

my mother always showed us by example....if we didnt pic up our toys they were donated to the orphans....we volunteered at the special olympics to show us how lucky we were to be healthy....ect....

we also had a list posted what chores we could do to recieve specific rewards.....nothing came for free! that way we didn feel "owed" anything.....

good luck mama

Answer 3

Sounds like maybe he's used to getting his way a lot.  He really needs to learn that everyone gets the same portion of desert or whatever, and you must be CONSISTENT in treating him equally with his sisters and everyone else.  

Answer 4

Well he is probably getting everything he need and want to a certain extent. you need to give his less things that he wants, that way he will recognize something special as a treat. not just an ordinary thing. as for the snow cones, say, is it either one or none. if he continues complaining. don't give him any

Answer 5

is he the youngest or is he spoiled? my son is 5 and doesnt appreciate anything we do for him or anything we get him. we think it is cos we spoilt him rotten when he was younger and also if he asks for sumthing he ALWAYS gets it. My fault i know.

Answer 6

sometimes you have to be a little harsh with them so they "get it".  The snow cone situation would have ended when I told him "you have 2 choices...one or none. those are your options. what is it going to be?"

you may want to take him places and expose him to the less fortunate. maybe have him volunteer at a food drive ( with you of course), visit a rehab center where people are not able to be physical , and if you see a homeless person, point it out and have a discussion about what they might be glad for that he has. There is actually a homeless lady that wanders around the town I live in. she is obviously unwashed, wears shoes held together with duct tape, and carries a plastic bag of her possessions. I would not hesitate to point her out to my kids and let them know that she would LOVE to have their last years backpack, or something they begged for then decided they did not want.

Answer 7

It is up to you, as the parent to continue acting in a way that eventually will teach him to be grateful for what he has. Don't give in to his demands or tantrums. I would think that this is a normal battle, one unfortunately that even adults have not learned. Over-indulgence is plaguing our society in many areas.

If this continues as he ages, I would suggest taking him to a homeless shelter or being sure to point out situations in which people have less than he does.....those that are homeless or those that live in 3rd world nations.

Good luck, I am sure that he will some day appreciate what he has. It sounds like you do, and if you continue along this path that will eventually be transferred to your son.

Answer 8

beat his lil ***