Why is my 7 yr old daughter so argumentative... great in school, but really mouthy at home sometimes!?

Question

She can be really sweet and helpful, but asking her to do things when she isn't ready to really creates issues. She is the oldest of 4 and can be really helpful most of the time, but really shocks me with random meltdowns and temper tantrums. She can sometimes get physical with her sister and brother when they argue.. she is very emotional and always has been, but I thought she'd grow out of this stuff by now. Any other moms/dads dealing with PMSing 7 year olds?

Answer 1

So I am not crazy.  My daughter will be 7 in August.  She is so sweet and well manored, but man can she PMS.  Her teacher rants and raves about her, all of the kids in school love her and only positive things to say.  So, at home she is my sweet pea but when it comes time to do something she doesn't want to the DIVA in her comes out.  Yikes.  I feel your pain and am sure it will only get worse as teenage years come along.  I am locking her up, no boys.  Just kiddin, aren't girls fun.

Answer 2

I would say that this is normal.  She is good at school because it's not family.  At school if she acts out she is singled out of at least 20 kids, plus she knows that no matter what she does at home, you will love her.  Therefore, she knows she can get away with it at home.  My daughter does the same thing.  She's testing to see how far she can go with things.  Their testing their wings.  Give her the space she needs when she get's in these moods, and just keep letting her know you love her, even when she starts spinning her head around.

Answer 3

I used to be like that... I'd be so quite and shy at school and then then when i got home I'd scream and yell and be terrible. first of all i don't think i was comfortable in my environment (at school)... i never knew how to act i wanted people to like me but i had VERY low self esteem and for someone with low self esteem it's hard to be out there and make the friends you want to be friends with... i had friends but they picked me. also my mother spoiled my brother and i rotten.. so it was easy to take advantage of her at home

Answer 4

It reminded me of my own brother..ever since he was small he used to be like that, now he is 21 and one of the best debaters in the country and has competed nationally and internationally,..come on, dont be so reactive, just think her being argumentative will leave her somewhere positively, ok? The only difference is he wasnt that physical really though he displayed tantrums too..............enjoy her being chatty...

Answer 5

my 6 year old is the same way.  it must be a girl thing. at school she is great then when she gets home its like she is queen of the divas.  it is nothing but drama.  so if you find a way to get them out of this stage please let me know

Answer 6

it could be a learned behavior....from home ?

Answer 7

Welcome to my world. My 7yr old is really helpful when it's something that she wants to do, not when it's something I need her to do. I believe that this is genetic. Her grandmother, my mil, is a major drama queen and everything is a big deal. But at school, she's an angel. Okay, it's not fair of me to blame my mil. I remember my mom being frustrated with me, too. I have found that when I take time out to talk to her everyday, even if it's just about silly stuff, her behavior improves. And this may not be a factor for you, but now that I have banned Nickelodeon from the TV, her attitude has improved.

Answer 8

My husband swears my daughter and I are on the same monthly cycle, but hers is only the mood swings! She's also 7, and boy is she sensitve at times!!! Glad to hear I'm not the only one! If you figure out a way to help with meltdowns, let me know, please!!!

Answer 9

I might be  able to help, I'm 11, and it's probably because she wants something, but doesn't want to tell you because she's afraid she might sound stupid. I'm exactly like her.

Or  it could be  be she isn't getting enough attention. Another reason is she is getting bullied at school and doesn't want to tell you, if that is true you should contact the school physician.

Answer 10

I have a son that is like that. Thank God he is finally starting to grow out of it.  He is 8 now I am dealing with it in his younger brother (5yo). When I asked someone about it they responded that you would rather them be sweethearts in public than the other way around. While all of his teachers, and other adults think he is the most wonderful child, I have always felt like asking them "Are we talking about the same person, cause he's a pill at home?"

Like I said, he is finally starting to come out of it, and not fuss so much about doing things at home. I had to start explaining why I needed him to help and why I wanted him to help and it seemed to help.

Also their are lots of books out there on the STRONG WILLED CHILD. Which is what I am dealing with. Just a matter of making them realize that they are gonna have to do what you want them to do, irregardless of what they think they are gonna do, and following through with it and trying not to break their spirits.

Answer 11

Wow -- totally normal!

She may feel a little overwhelmed being the oldest child - especially if you depend on her to help out a lot.  I can't imagine what it's like having 3 other YOUNGER siblings around all the time!  Sit down and talk to her - have her try to verbalize what she's feeling during these "tantrums" and perhaps you'll find she exactly what she needs.

I wish you well!

Answer 12

it could very well possibly the kids shes around at school. it could be if her teacher is arguementive. do you and your spouse argue allot and she possibly hears?

work to answer these questions?

Answer 13

my son is 5 and I'm 15 weeks pregnant with #2, but i have LOTS of experience with kid my brother have 3 kid all under 5 and my sister has 2 under the age 9. and if you need more than that lol i was a nanny for 5 children ages 11 girl, 10 boy, 8 boy, and twin boy and girl age 2 for 2 yrs and they moved. I said all that to say EVERY KID is DIFFERENT but you have to discipline the SAME, that is the key. and if you daughter is acting ugly to you or her siblings that should NEVER be tolerated period. i don't know if you believe in spanking but i do and with my kids and every other kid in my life. and the funny thing is all of them do not need to be spanked, like with my 5 yr old he doesn't like to disappoint me and that's kinda the way i have to deal with my ( i will say to him .. now Gavin that really disappoints momma) and he will try his best to do what is right and not to get a spanking. with my sisters 2 they both do well with the spanking she dont threaten and threaten she just tells her boyes what the deal is and she expects the to do it and if they talk back or act ugly the get in trouble. you can find what works best with you kids but I'm telling you STICK WITH IT and don't back down. she might just want attention and going about it the wrong way or she just know what get to you and what she can get away with. good luck and lots of prayers to you.

Answer 14

that sounds a lot like my 8 yr old son...it is sooo overwhelming sometimes and so frustrating; i really understand.  my son will argue about anything and everthing; you tell him to stop arguing and he'll argue that he's not aaaaggghhh!!!  he also cries about everthing, you ask him to clean his room or hang up his clothes or put his plate in the sink, etc...it turns into a major ordeal...the crying i think is starting to slack of a little, but i don't know, it's hard to tell.  my son is the oldest too, he has one brother who is 3 so for five years he was the only child and i do attribute a lot of his actions to jealousy.  one problem he has is he thinks we should treat him the same way as the 3 yr old...and you just can't do that, but i guess a problem that we (parents) have is we expect him to "act his age" which i guess translates into a little grown up...and he's not, he's only 8.  i wish i could help you, but as you can see i haven't been able to help myself, but it is nice to know that i'm not the only one with this problem.

Answer 15

i used to be  like that maybe its just attention.  Yu should sit down and talk about why shes actin like that  and maybe even plan a day that yu can spend time with her and talk about whats going on with her