Why is my boyfriend so confusing?

Question

I'm 23 years old and my boyfriend is 27. We have been together for almost 3 years. We have talked about the future so much but he confuses me. I have even to told him that he confuses me. In the beginning of the relationship it seemed like he wanted to marry me right away and have kids (he always says that he wants to have kids before he turns 30). But sometimes when i bring up marriage he makes it seem like it's going to be a very very very long time from now. Then he'll turn around and make me think that he's going to pop the question soon. I told him that all of this makes me feel confused.then last month he text me out of nowhere and said that he wasn't sure if he would ever be ready to get married. He said he could see himself marrying me, but that he couldn't see himself getting married in general-he confusesme so much!!! and then the other day i was telling him that it didn't seem like he cared about me-and he said " well of course i care about you -i love you enough to want to marry you" He confuses me so much!!!!! I want to marry him someday-maybe when we are done with college (which will be in like 2 years). But i want to be more than just boyfriend/girlfriend. I guess what i want is for him to just ask me so that i can know for sure that he wants to marry me and so i can call him my fiance. but i don't know what to do. I kinda feel like i'm in a rut. i want us to move a step up in this relationship, and being engaged to him would be the greatest thing. oh, and by the way, he was engaged to a girl before-about 7 years ago i think. ....please help me. thank you.

Answer 1

he obviously doesnt know what he wants. if he doesnt figure it out soon, then leave. theirs no point in waisting your time with someone whos sure or unsure if he wants to marry you. he should KNOW and not wait around. sit him down and get a clear answer. if hes still all scattered about it, let him know you need a definate answer because thats what you want. if your willing to wait 2 years and see.. thats up to you. but sit him down and tell him how you feel. if hes gonna be all DUHHHH and indecisive about it, then thats not what you want.  

Answer 2

Well Cupcake, if he is said he is unsure about marriage that many times then he is not ready to be married! Take a step back for a moment - you want to get married, but he isn't sure? (And by the way, he shouldn't ask you to marry him JUST because you want to have a man titled as your fiance.) That is a no for now, honey. Either you keep living with the flip-flops of the relationship, or you go find another man who is sure of marriage. You know that you want to get married to a guy when you are both thinking marriage at the same time.  

Answer 3

he's afraid of the future and commitment thats how all men are

Answer 4

Just give it time! Don't try to rush him into marriage or proposing to you. And don't worry about whether or not you call him your fiance or boyfriend. Labels don't matter, as long as you are together and you love each other. Give him time and things will smooth out on their own.

Answer 5

you can't make someone love you.  What would you rather have some guy gets to know you and wants the pop the question or some guy that you have to force into asking you?  It seems like he has a problem with commitment. You should leave the subject alone for a while.  You should help him through whatever problems he is having.  You should make him see how good being with you can be.  If he doesn't see that then he is an idiot, because you are a great girl.  You should then tell him that you need something more out of your relationship and break up with him.  Hopefully being away from you will show him how much he really cares and miss you and he should pursue you , if not he really didn't love you. It will be hard, but it is better to break up with him now rather down the line when you have kids.  

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Answer 6

To be quite frank, he's keeping you happy by telling you he wants to marry you.  He's sure on minute and unsure the next.  If he truly wanted to marry you, you'd be engaged.  Tell him to either propose or leave you alone cuz I think he's wasting your time.

Answer 7

He likes you, but you are taking the whole relationship more seriously than he is. He is happy with where both of you are right now. Also, peole's goals change. He may have said he wanted kids by 30, but since he's still in college (?), this doesn't seem realistic anymore. So talk to him and be prepared to listen to his views and goals and opinion.