Why is my ex popping up into my nightmares, how should I cope, and was I raped??

Question

I dated a guy about a year ago. He was verbally abusive and always put me down and threatened that he would commit suicide. Once he put my hand on his gonad and didn't let me take it off ( I don't know if that is rape or not. But I do remember saying no ). But we eventually broke up. He began to stalk me by driving out front of my house and calling me, then he appeared at my bowling alley and just watched me. he looked really messed up; he didn't shave and had a hat on. It reminded me of some guy that was going to kid nap me. My mother actually felt that way to about him and we left the alley. He has randomly imed me saying how I hurt him and things of that nature. At first I responded by saying Leave me alone or I'm going to call the cops. Eventually I stopped responding and blocked him. He is starting to pop up into my dreams. (Like last night I had a dream where he was in this house and I was stuck with him. I was scared to death of him. It was creepy) I have a boyfriend now and I love him dearly. I've been with this new guy for a total of 10 months. I love him dearly.

I guess what my question is was I raped? and Why do I randomly have nightmarish dreams with him involved. What should I do about this?

Answer 1

Forcing you to touch his genitals is a form of rape.

You seem to still have subconscious fears because of him, and possibly PTSD. So you should get therapy from someone who knows what they're doing.

You might also want some kind of Padded Assailant Training, and physical and assertiveness training if you're so psychologically intimidated that someone can control by your wrist/hand.

Answer 2

A man putting your hand on his crutch is not rape but it is a sexual assault and not pleasant.

You dream about this person because you are scared of him and he intimidates you, sometimes your nightmares are what you fear most in life.

I would try and speak to your doctor about getting some therapy, that could help you come to terms with things.

Answer 3

I think you need to seek some therapy, because your paranoia is running away with you here. Him putting your hand on him is hardly rape...it's a guy being a jerk, but it isn't rape. And it's not his fault you are dreaming about him..that part means nothing. It just means you are still disturbed by the relationship.

Seriously, talk to someone about your feelings.

Answer 4

i dont know much but yes that would be rape and your dreams of him is happening because you are still thinking about him and want he done so it will keep coming up until you deal with it completely so if i was you just go on holiday with your boyfriend and dont let him so that you have moved on