Why is my mom being like this

Question

my mom won't let me go to my friend's house just cuz he's 20 and in college....I'm 15 I'm not a baby he's a nice guy what's the big deal?? she let us go to the mall and the movies and out to dinner once reluctantly but now she says I can't ever talk to him again why not???

And she got all pissed cuz he sent me a letter tellinng me that he loves and cares for me. and wants to make me feel good ..she shouldn't have read it....I admittedf to her that we did kiss and hug alot....and she was like " watch and see what will happen to him if he comes near you again" idk what she would do....

she even let him pick me up from school so why doesn't she trust me to go to his house

he's one of my only true friends ppl at school don't like me and he makes me feel better when he holds me and talks to me he's really sweet she never understands anything

btw I asked this b4 but didn't get much help... It didn't seem like anyone understood

Answer 1

You are under 18, and he is more than 3 years older than you.  If you have s*x with him, he can be charged with statutory rape.  If he's convicted, he will have to register as a s*x offender for the rest of his life.  

At 15, you don't have the maturity or the wisdom to know how to control a dating situation.  This young man - he's just that, he's very nearly an adult.  You're a long way from being an adult.  What do the two of you have in common?  Honestly and truthfully have in common.  Cut out all the hugging and kissing and groping you've been doing, and is there anything left?  

Look at it this way.  Would you want a 10-year-old boy for a boyfriend?  Of course not.  The difference in your maturity levels is too great.  It's the same with you and the guy you like.  He wants more from a relationship, physically and emotionally, than you will be able to give for several more years.  So why isn't he dating a young woman closer to his own age who is ready for the same type of relationship that he's ready for?

Your mom is only trying to protect you.  If you don't understand why it isn't appropriate for you to be alone and unsupervised with this young man, then your mom is definitely right, you aren't ready to date.  

The reason you didn't get much help when you asked this question before is because you didn't like the answers you got.  Honey, just because you don't LIKE an answer doesn't make the answer less true.  

If you want to prove your maturity to your parents, you need to change the way you think.  You need to start looking at this from the standpoint of a grown-up. When you do, you'll understand why you can't go to his house.  You'll be able to have a calm and rational discussion with your mother.  You'll understand why living with her rules for the next few years won't kill you and might actually be good for you.  And you'll understand why getting your boyfriend convicted of rape can limit his career choices and ruin his life in many ways.

Your mother understands completely.  

Answer 2

I understand where you're coming from as a young girl who just wants to feel like someone loves and cares for her.  On the other hand, I also know where your mother is coming from also.  My mom NEVER let me do anything with any of my friends.  I was always home and never allowed to go anywhere and do anything whether it was with a guy or girl friends.  There is too much rape, sexual assault drugs, abuse, and men looking to "pimp" on young girls going on in this world.  There are just way too many things to think about and way too many horrible things that could happen and as much as it is a pain in your butt, your mom really is just looking out for you.  When a 20 yr old guy wants to hang out with a 15yr old girl, no offense to you what so ever, but there's a problem with that.  He's older and in college and should be interested in his school and girls his own age.  Not chasing after a 15 year old who is vulnerable and inexperienced.  Trust your mom's instincts.  I know it's hard and it seems like she's being unfair but there's just too much horrible in the world for her to have to worry about why some 20 yr old wants to hang out with her 15yr old daughter.  It's scary being a mom and one day you will understand.  Find yourself someone your own age to confide in whether it's at school or a boys/girls club of somesort or something.  Don't fall into the trap of some guy who's got nothing better to do than to trap you into thinking he's "in love" with you when he's not.  It'll only break your heart in the end anyway.  Best of luck.

Answer 3

He's 20 and you're 15, there is your answer. I'm sorry but most older guys are only "friends" with younger girls for ONE reason. Your mom is just looking out for you. Find friends YOUR age and she won't have such a problem with it.

Answer 4

Hey I understand ,im 20 now but when I was 15  my mom did the same thing to me . Except I was seeing a guy that was 24!  And I thought I was truely in love with him like yeah he was my world! But ..... always a downfall .  If you seriously care for him you need to let him go . I ended up pregnant at 15 almost 16 by this guy. He pretty much taught me everything I knew about s*x. But thats the thing older guys know better and know I think wow what a pig he was alot older then me I was just a little girl . Back to the part why you should let him go is because My parents got him put in jail and in some states he could go to prison . its called C.S.C criminal sexual conduct . Thats a were they put his picture on the computer for the whole world to see right next to child molesters and stuff.... But yeah when he got out of jail our daughter was almost 1 years old . And I stayed with him up untill 5 months ago . He just wont matture and that might happen to you if you plan on staying with this guy. I would just find someone your own age and learn things togeather , your mom might actually like the guy. Alright well I hope this helped . hang in their!