Why is my mom so over protective?

Question

she won't let me go anywhere or do anything with my friends she doesn't trust me to go to my friend's houses but yet she lets my brother go anywhere he wants ppl say it's different with girls but why I'm not a bad kid??? my brother's the crazy one and once she let me go to the mall with my 19 year old friend alone or so I thought it turns out she went too and followed us. And she said when I get a bf he can come to my house but I can't go to his house why not??? and one halloween me and my friend were trick or treating and she saw us walking and she drove by and picked us up as if something bad was gonna happen....it's halloween everyone is out! why is she like this?? and everytime I go somewhere she'll be like "did anyone touch you or anything" why is she so paranoid"

she even spies on me during my driving lessons just cuz my driving teacher is a man

she doesn't have to worry about anything happening to me cuz no one wants me anyways

btw I'm 16

Answer 1

Honey, she's obviously just doing that because she still wants to hold on to her little girl. A sit-down and talk with your mom would be nice, although hard I know. Just call her privatly and talk to her, after all she's your mom. And I know alot of parents who do that...

Answer 2

Maybe somebody hurt her when she was your age??  I am over protective of my children also....but you have to cut the umbilical cord sometime, and let your child have some sort of independence..  The world is full of sickos so that could be the reason she's paranoid.  There should be limits to what you are allowed to do, but not be a prisoner in your home.

Answer 3

You are at a certain age when your mom gets really protective over you and your life. It's not that she might not trust you, it's just that you are becoming more independent and experiencing more things on your own. She may think you are not ready to handle everything without her. As far as getting dates and hanging out with friends, your mom should trust you. Give her good reasons to. If you got hurt with anyone in your social life, you should let your mom think that you would tell her what's wrong. You need to give her the limits to protecting you, because you should be able to do things on your own without having your own mother hover over you.

Answer 4

I have the same issue your having.I live with my grandmother but she won't let me go anywhere and my uncle goes everywhere!

im 14 and he's 16 but still.

It sucks and especially you being 16 and not being able to be let at peace and have some freedom.Your mom is probably just worried and wants to always make sure your safe.If your the youngest then it's probably cause your also the baby.

You should just talk to her and let her know how you feel.

Answer 5

it shows how much she loves and cares for you. some parents dont give a toss bout their children

Answer 6

She is your Mom..She worries about you she has a right to be over protective. But you need to sit down and have a talk with her. As for the 19 year old i wonder why she followed you? You are only 16

Answer 7

You're her little girl. Yes, you're 16 but that doesn't change it, she's brought you up all this time, when you're 40 you're still gonna be her little girl. Try ask her why she's overly protective of you and not as much with your brother.

Answer 8

First of all, calm down!! I can tell you're overwhelmed by this because you seemed to have a whole bunch of ???!!!!! sentences... You need to understand a couple of things.

Your concept that "no one wants me anyways" is only your own poor self-esteem. Your mom thinks of you as a lot more attractive and desirable than you do. Don't sell yourself short.

She does seem a little over the top, but depending on how you're reacting to it, she's only going to continue in this way.

It IS different with boys, by the way. We still worry about them, but boys can't get pregnant, and they tend to be physically stronger if someone attacks them.

It sounds like your mom is working out every fear she's ever had about her beautiful girl-- kidnapping, rape, getting yourself into a compromising situation. You need to let her relax into these things-- as in, accept that she's going to be paranoid for a bit. Show her that you understand WHY she's doing this but that she's got to give you at least one chance in three to show you can handle yourself (perhaps starting with the driving instructor!!). Talk with her about it, but in a calm, not accusing way. Understand she's doing this because she loves you so much that the idea of anything happening to you would be devastating, but SHOW her that you are able to handle yourself. If you become deceptive or accusatory, you've lost.

Good luck, sweetie.

Answer 9

She is just being a mom...everyone things nothing bad it going to happen to them, BUT I'm guessing your mom knows better. Unfortunately bad things do happen and being protective is just her way of trying to keep you safe.

Answer 10

It sounds like she may be paranoid because something like this happened to her when she was around your age, and she doesn't want it to happen to you. Sure, she went a little extreme, but not everyone in this world can be trusted not to hurt you, and she just wants to keep you from that. Totally just talk to her, and you two lay down some rules on going out with your friends and stuff.

Answer 11

If you're her only daughter, independence is almost impossible.  Although I don't mean to discourage you because I know how parents can be.  I suggest you start to trust her more with your personal views and she'll eventually trust you with hers.  It's a give to get kind of situation.  Some parents could be a bit overprotective with their daughters and one of the lamest excuses I've heard was "girls can get pregnant and are a much easier target and boys can't"  

Anyway, the best advice i can give you is to try and treat your mom like a friend and chances are, she will too.  she'll eventually grow out of her overprotective self.

Good luck!

Answer 12

oh god

im so sorry

i dont know why she is so protective

maybe she just really loves you

or she is paranoid about you

i really dont have an answer to this question

but i wish you luck

Answer 13

Don't worry my mom is the same way. That just means she loves you, and I know it is annoying but I love seeing how much she cares about me.