Why is my mother in law jealous when my baby's great grandma buys her things?

Question

Every time my daughter's great grandma (my mother in law's ex mother in law) buys her things, my mother in law makes these faces or makes comments. We hardly see my daughter's great grandma because she lives 2 hours away. She came and visited me in the hospital and brought $100 worth of baby clothes. My mother in law "blows her money" (like she says we do, but much worse to the point where she has the utility companies shutting off the water and electric constantly). I'm not sure if she's jealous or just hateful towards my husband's grandma or what! My husband's grandma buys his sister school clothes so that my mother in law doesn't have to! She is more than compensating for the fact that my mother in law is a deadbeat. We're stuck in the middle (I am more than anyone) because we're on the receiving end of the thoughtful gifts.

So the next time when my mother in law asks where we got that outfit or toy, what do we say when great grandma gave it to us?

Perhaps "grandma" is feeling threatened by "great grandma?"

Answer 1

Sounds like the divorce battles haven't ended for your MIL and she's still trying to fight them with *her* ex-MIL.  Personally I would head the issue off by not pointing out what's new.  If MIL asks then simply say that the item was a gift from a friend (which can mean anyone) and leave it at that.  Don't be drawn in to giving more details.  When your MIL gives you something too large be gracious.  "How thoughtful, I'll put this away for later when she grows into it," goes much farther towards making someone feel thanked than griping about the sizes.  And really, with a gift it is supposed to be the thought that counts.

Answer 2

Have you tried asking her to please stop the rude comments.  Tell her that if she doesn't have anything nice to say, please don't say anything at all.  You've ignored it so far, right?  And it hasn't gotten you anywhere?  So tell her, or have your husband talk to her.  Tell her that it hurts your feelings and you don't want your daughter feeling resentful towards her great-grandma's generosity.  Your husband is very lucky to have such a thoughtful, caring grandma, and your daughter is lucky too.  You could tell your m-i-l that too.  Good luck!!

Answer 3

It sounds like grandma is jealous/threatened.

Just say, very sweetly, that great grandma gave it to her, isn't it precious? And ignore any rude comments. You don't have to acknowledge them.