Why is my one year old acting so naughty, throughing fits, crying, and hitting?

Question

My daughter just turned 13 months and all of a sudden a huge change in behavior. She throughs a huge fit as soon as you tell her no about the littlest thing. If she wants something out of reach she will whine/ cry to get her way or get attention. She is into everything. If she has something she isn't supossed to have and you go toward her to take it she takes off running. I feel so frustrated I don't know where I went wrong! She hits other babies or kids if they try to touch her toys..I feel like a horrible mom. Help!

Answer 1

wait til she's 2 and then 3!  you need to slow down..you say "where did I fail" for Gods sake she's only 13 months old...you sound like she's 16 and pregnant!..she is coming into her own independence..starting early from the sounds of things..wait til she gets another year older and tells you "no" every two minutes to test you to see what she can get away with!..if you act like you are now she'll be manipulating you and everyone else..it sounds like shes smart and can read you...you need to step back... she will whine or cry because she is not an adult and cannot express herself like an adult or the very least a teenager...whereas we can say.."I want that now" or "If you don;t give me that I will be very upset"..all they can do is be primal and cry it out that they are sad or mad...even when they first start to talk..its not like they can get all their feelings across..so even the slapping is an immediate reaction to "HEY you just made me mad so all I can do it hit you to get my point across".. you as a parent are there to teach her the right way..so when she wants something you tell her no and why and then because she is so young you can redirect her to some other interest or at the very least into another room...she   could be a little hyper but that just means you don't sit her in front of a TV all day..get her out and use up all that energy...if she hit because she doesn't understand the concept of sharing yet ( usually until they are about 4-5 they think they are the center of the world) ..but then again most adults still act that way!..so you train her...take away her toys and tell her when she can share with others she will get them back one at a time..and praise her...sometimes you feel youre working with a puppy..but they're all babies...and someday when you have shaped her..she may be the Doctor who cures cancer...so be positive...and take some deep breathes every once in awhile...pick and choice your own wars and ignore the rest..good luck

Answer 2

It sounds like she's starting to go through the Terrible Twos early . You didn't do Anything wrong. I have to girls now in their 30's. Believe me it will pass. just have patience.

Answer 3

Is she getting enough sleep and proper nutrition? I think those are the usual culprits. She may be advanced and hitting the terrible twos early, just testing the boundaries and such. Seems a little young but if that is the case, then its time to set boundaries, start the time outs etc. You're not a bad mom. Up to this point the only job was keeping her healthy and safe which you did. The discipline thing is just starting. You're just facing the next big challenge.

Answer 4

My nephew was like that too. It's just the terrible twos. Now a day's they start at one then get worse at 2. Sit down with her after she calms down and talk to her about what she did and why it's wrong. Make sure it's in word she understands. My nephew was like that with my sister and she did the same thing. Also she would say 'no, no' so many times you would think my nephews name was no, no. Hope your daughter gets easier. May God please you and your daughter.

Answer 5

You said, "If she wants something out of reach she will whine/ cry to get her way or get attention. She is into everything. If she has something she isn't supossed to have and you go toward her to take it she takes off running."  All very typical of toddlers.  

Honestly, I wonder if somehow you set the tone for her behavior.  Not saying you are a bad mom (~hug~), but in your question you said she is acting naughty.  Do you expect this from her?  Seriously, when we expect negative behaviors, thats what we get.  In any situation in life.  You know why?  Because our attitude expresses our expectations.  If we hate our job, we may fake it like we like it, but our performance/attitude will show through.    

Try seeing her as wonderfully curious and determined, rather than obstinant and compulsive.  They are basically the same things, with a different way of expressing or appreciating her for who she is.

I see this within myself, as a mom of 4.  If Im stressed out or just having a bad day - my kids cant even burp without a lecture on manners.  If Im having a good day, the same burp might even make me laugh.  Feel me?  

As far as the hitting, have you spanked her?  I never had with my oldest two, but when my twins were born it was overwhelming and I would spank their hands when they got into stuff.  What I noticed was just what you are saying, they would hit their friends when they got upset with them - my oldest two who I hadnt been spanked never did.   As they got older, I dont spank, and they dont react that way anymore.  My rule of thumb is...does the punishment fit the crime.  I can say that spanking their hands fit the crime of reaching for the hot stove...but not for arguing with their siblings.  Again, beware of the messages you send her, she is probably only behaving as she has been shown.    My oldest used to shake his finger in kids faces when he was mad, like my mom would do when she watched him, this was a huge eye opener for me.  Kids do what they see, its all they know.

When you wake up tommorrow, be thankful that she is curious, you wouldnt want her any other way.  Put anything she should be into where she cant reach it and use cabinet/door child locks, this will help both of you.  

Good luck honey!!  

Answer 6

My son is the same age and the same way. I guess its just part of it. My son will throw himself on the floor, into walls, etc. He screams and cries for a very long time if he does not get his way. It drives me crazy too.

Answer 7

You are not a BAD mother lol

I have two kids and (3 and 5 yrs old) When my oldest turned 1.5 me and my husband used to joke that he has premature “terrible 2s”.

Your child is simply showing her independence. You need to create rules for her and strictly stick to them. If you don’t want her to touch X something then you have to tell her in a low strict voice that it is not for her to touch. You cannot however let her touch it tomorrow or any other day. Don’t give in and do not deviate from your rules (because then you display mixed messages and she will get confused). Praise her for doing good things.

I know, if you say NO she will throw a terrible tantrum and scream and kick…. That is sadly inevitable… but will definitely lessen after about a week if you stick to the rules.

If she kicks and screams you simply tell her in a calm voice that you understand that she’s upset, but these are the rules. Step away and let her cry it out (she needs to learn how to deal with her emotions on her own). Do not show her any reaction to her terrible behavior. Ignore and go to another room if needed. If she persists… give her a time out alone. I used to put my son in a playpen without any toys or anyone interacting with him. He quickly understood that I was not about to take his attitude.

If your child will see that you give in when they scream and throw tantrum, if they see that it gets you upset and you’re giving in to just have peace, then they will use it over and over to get their way.

Another thing: little 13 months old does not yet understand a concept of sharing. That doesn’t form in their heads until at least 3 yrs old. You can still try to explain to her that she should share but don’t expect any dramatic changes in that yet.

This too shall pass and you will miss these times with her when she gets older.