Why is my partner putting pressure on my to find a job straight after finishing degree?

Question

I'm a graduate & I've just finished my degree. I'll be a registered teacher next week & I've /contacted an agency to begin with casual relief work. I still haven't even started my resume! My partner wants me to start working asap so we can buy a home. He's in a rush as he's 6 years older & he's been working for 15 years!! I, on the other hand am just starting (i've only had a couple of part time jobs ever!) Why am I procrastinating

Answer 1

You are procrastinating because you are afraid of rejection.  You can't "fail" (in finding a good job) if you are not trying.  Just because you have a degree does not mean you will find a job in your field.  Get cracking girl.  It is time to grow up.

Answer 2

Take a set time off if that's what you want - one week, two weeks, whatever.  Tell him what you are doing.  While you are on this break, make up your resume, and have a professional look at it.  

Answer 3

To me it doesn't sound like you're procrastinating at all! You need time to process what you've accomplished, and how the next phase of your life is going to start.

You shouldn't let him pressure you simply because he's impatient. He should be willing to let you find your own path and make your own way. You've worked hard, you deserve it!

Best wishes. x

Answer 4

You are procrastinating because you have been studying your *** off and would like a study break!  Don't rush else you will find the wrong job.  Reward your hard study with a well earned break.  He is probably wanting it to happen faster due to financial reasons and is stressing 'cause he is male...

Answer 5

Well I guess there's a few things he could be thinking (stress on could)

Generally speaking jobs don't just fall into your lap, so the sooner you start the better.

Whilst your partner is not going to be thinking the negative here, if you don't a job quickly (and I'm not talking Monday, but in the short term) they are going to have to support you no doubt - financially and emotionally (and yes it gets people down when they don't get a job).

Well that goes straight into the self esteem issues.  If you don't at least get out there then you are going to slowly lose self esteem and as a partner this sucks and may affect your relationship.

He's also older and possibly been there done that.  Probably wants to get past the whole looking for a job and actually enjoying life.

Procastination easy, but get stuck into writing your resume (well work history is a part of it, but you need to put a section of skills on there that an employee will be looking for - eg from your teaching degree such as teaching plans or stuff.  Also include groups or other skills such as "Scouts leader" or some basic interests (e.g. sports groups or charity work)

Answer 6

My husband is the same way.  I have stayed home since my son has been born, and he is 3 now.  I am in college right now, and my husband wants me to start working...  My son starts pre-school next year, so it would make more sence for me to start work when he starts school, but he wants him to be around other kids more before he actually starts school.  A part of me wants to start work since we would be able to have more than we have right now, and it would help us out financially, but I dont know if I am ready to start work again.  I am sick of being home all the time, but I enjoy watching my son grow.  He probably just wants another income coming into the household.  But if I graduated already, I think I would go out and find a job right away as well.  I am still in college though.  And I go full time.  I take night classes, so I would be at work all day then go to school at night, and I wont have any time at home with my husband or son.

Answer 7

I am sure he didn't mean anything wrong, you know yourself that you are procrastinating.  He's only doing his part to help you move forward in life, maybe you took it wrong :)

It's good that you start preparing your resume even if you don't want to start working right away.

Answer 8

he's carried you through all your schooling and now its over its time to relax alittle and let you help carry some of the weight/help out.  He's done it so long, he's ready to sick back and reep what he's sewed and besides: welcome to the big world now, time to grow up and carry some of the weight and show him what it was all for all these yrs. You sound like you've been spoiled your whole life and taken care of while you did all this schooling, so now its payback time and he wants his and when ya do, it'll be your thank you, from  u to him, for doing so.

Answer 9

Probably because he wants to marry you but at the same time he wants to marry a working woman

Answer 10

maybe because hes older he feels like you might count on him money wise ,like you would with your parents and all

Answer 11

Sounds like he is really keen on settling down with you. Do what makes you happy though, if you want to travel then do that. Otherwise you are going to live a life full of regrets... If he truly loves you then he can wait until you are ready, it doesn't sound like you are yet...