Why is my wife so confrontational?

Question

Every d**n conversation becomes confrontational. Almost every discussion ends up border line argumentative. I've communicated my concern that she always needs to be right and asked her to discuss things with me as opposed to putting the boxing gloves on. No change in 4 years. It really makes communication difficult and is damaging our relationship. Is it me?

Answer 1

This is a tough question because we do not have enough information. We must first find out is she just confrontational with you or if this is just her personality with everyone. So if the answer is she is only confrontational with you, we must then determine what is the underlining issue. Women do not just bite your head off, there has to be something that is angering her. Are you helping around the house, is she stressed because she is overwhelmed with being a wife and you are not comforting her. Please give more information. I think I can help. But if not just think on what I said but after doing all you can counseling is always an option.

Answer 2

she probably comes from a background where she was dismissed and ignored or ridiculed and she feels she has to be right and has to fight until she's right.

this is a very unpleasant person to live with because in order for them to be right they have to beat you down and you always have to be wrong.  

If you love her then both of you need marriage counseling immediately.  (please tell me you don't have kids)  if she is not able to give up being right then I don't recommend you stay with her because this is a type of verbal and emotional abuse and should not be taken lightly.

Answer 3

It sounds like she doesnt respect you at all. Why would she be so confrontational?....and what good does it do to make yourself right all the time? If shes been like this for 4 years its probably time for you to see about finding someone not so confrontational. There is a difference between knowing what you want and just treating your man like a piece of dirt.

Answer 4

Sounds as if neither of you ever took a course in Communication, or Marriage and the Family, or How to be a good spouse.  Get a session of counseling, hon, and realize as should she, that when you are argumentative, and confrontational, all you do is spill acid in your marriage, until it is all eroded.  If she's not interested, bail.  Hon, life is toooo short  to spend it always walking on eggs.  4 years is plenty to have made an adjustment... I promise.

Answer 5

No but since you realize she is like this maybe after a few sentences sort of drop it then.  She needs counseling.

Answer 6

Well it could be you but at the same time it could be her. Maybe its something you do to aggravate her or something. You should probaly ask her if thats not the problem then try this website

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Answer 7

Four years is plenty of time.  She isn't going to change, obviously.  So if you want to tolerate this for another 25 years, that's up to you.  I would be thinking about counseling and if she refuses, well, probably divorce.