Why is nothing ever as fun or interesting as I imagined it could be?

Question

I try and make friends and go out with people but whenever I do there always seems to be something missing. Outings are amusing, but not joyous or intense or sublime. I have moments when I'll just stop and think "what am I doing here? I could be at home listening to Radiohead or reading Anna Karenina and experience something truly profound." It really makes me reluctant to spend the time and money to go out. I don't drink, could that have something to do with it?

Answer 1

No!

I dont drink and I am almost always happy!

Answer 2

You can still enjoy yourself without drinking alcohol, i think maybe you have high expectations of what the outing/meeting is going to be like, then you feel let down when its not as good as you thought. However, you must make the effort to socialise, after all, you can be by yourself lots of times...

Answer 3

Alcohol has nothing to do with it. Maybe your expectations are too high. Outings with friends are not supposed to be profound. They're supposed to be fun and amusing.  

Answer 4

Why dont you let go, be a risk take just go to the mall and live it up without having to plan every little detail out. If you plan everything out then of corse you will be missing something you can't plan FUN!!! Make friends with people who  enjoy the finer thing that way you can just lay back and have fun!!! Doing what ever, so go out and do something FUN!!! go swimming, go hiking, do fishing, so to an amusment park, go to a lake go roller blading!!!

Answer 5

I am somewhat similar. I usually tend to enjoy staying at home and reading, or crafty things that I like to do. I don't like drinking either. It is probably just your personality, and that the people you are hanging out with are different than you are in how they enjoy spending their time. If you knew someone that would enjoy sitting around with you at home, listening to Radiohead and chit-chatting with you, or getting together with you to discuss Anna Karenina after you both read it...I am guessing that would be pretty fun or more exciting for you. I do go out and get together with others, mainly for the reason of just getting out on ocation, for my husband who is more social than I am, and to let our daughters play with other children. Maybe seek out other friends that would enjoy doing something different than your currents ones, or just limit your "partying" experiences so that you can spend time with your friends, but be sure to give yourself time at home to enjoy doing what you prefer.

Answer 6

well...how are you with people?  

you sound like your conscious of the fact that you dont feel 'right' where you are and who you are with, maybe they're not the people you need in your life or the sorts of things you want to do?

how's your mood?  if you're feeling detatched because you're not happy then that can make social situations a lot worse.

maybe you just need to except that sometimes this is life and it's not always profound and deeply exciting...or that you're expecting too much?  it's easily done as we are bombarded with what 'life should be' and not what 'life is', so it's easy to feel unsatisfied in life if we are consciously or otherwise expecting things to be 'better', in which case experiment with life, experience and find out what brings you the most pleasure.

figure out what you want for yourself now and take each day as it comes.

Hope you find what you need. x*x

Answer 7

The key is  - ANTICIPATION

Do you remember the saying "the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence"

Well this has a lot to do with it - you talk with friends and they tell you how much fun they are having going out and you think you are missing something.  

Actually, you will find a niche that you fit in - maybe you will find friends that like movies and dinner rather than the bar scene.

It is very hard to be the person who goes out to a bar with all the others drinking and partying, dancing, laughing etc. and you aren't.  Alcohol loosens you inhibitions - they are in a state of intoxication - you aren't - things aren't as funny, music is too loud, people are shouting.  They couldn't be having a better time - and obviously you don't see it or feel it.  If it's not your scene - don't go - there are lots and lots of other options for socializing - try some.  You'll have fun and won't miss the bar scene at all.