Why is "sir" or "ma'am" so hurtful to people?

Question

The term "sir" or "ma'am" is a form of respect. So why is it that men tend to tell us, don't call me sir, I work for a living and women automatically take offense to being called a very respectful term? I find it funny that so many baby boomers whine and complain that "kids nowadays" don't show them any respect, yet when someone like me DOES try, it gets thrown back in my face as an insult. If I try to respect you like that and you get mad and insult me, you have just lost any respect and won't receive it again from me.

Answer 1

Well I'm a girl (young so no one ever calls me ma'am). But my mother hates it when people call her ma'am because she says it makes her sound old. I know a few women who are like this. It makes them sound old so they'd rather the person said something like a simple "Thank you" or "excuse me" without adding the word ma'am at the end.

As for "sir" I've never known anyone to have a problem with that one, so I can't really say why anyone would take offense to that. Weird.

Answer 2

I don't know why, either! I live in Texas and everyone calls everyone here ma'am and sir. I would be offended if I wasn't called ma'am by a customer service representative or a stranger. I am only 23 years old and I still expect it. I say "yes, ma'am" to my 5 year old niece! It has nothing to do with age! I think manners are becoming lost for many people and that is very unfortunate.  

Answer 3

I treat everyone with respect and I do say ma'am and sir.  I have had a few people tell me not to call them that, and I will say oh I apologize I didn't mean no disrespect, I was raised to respect everyone and saying ma'am and sir are my ways of giving respect.  I have actually had a few people then apologize to me for them assuming I meant they were old.  I appreciate it when someone calls me ma'am, to me it means they do respect me and it makes me feel good.

Answer 4

ive never had the problem with people not wanting me to say sir or mam.. and allot of the kids nowadays are jerks and don't have any manners at all..  

Answer 5

I had to be called "sir" when I was 22 and in the military.  Now that I'm out the only people who have to call me sir is anyone who wants to date my daughter.

I don't take offense to the term, though.  As a matter of fact, I think it shows good manners to call someone sir/ma'am until you get permission to do otherwise.

Answer 6

i was born and raised in louisiana....if i didnt reply with sir or maam when asked a question.....the person nearest to me slapped in the back of the head....haha j/k....but seriously my parents would get extremely upset with me and i would be punished....to this day i still say sir and maam.....around here people dont seem to mind....its pretty normal...people hear it and go about there business....i even say it to people my age....i like it....i guess cause it wwas instilled in me that way....

Answer 7

cuz it makes them feel old

please help me with my question!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 8

I completely agree with everything you've just said.  

I call EVERYONE sir or ma'am, including children.

Besides, the Baby Boomers need to get over it.  They ARE old.

Answer 9

I think it depends on who you are dealing with.  I believe most people appreciate it though.  There are some butt holes out there who never learned how to display any kind of respect to anyone.

Answer 10

It probably has to do with the tone of voice you are using and possibly the body language attitude you are projecting, especially if people react this strongly.  When I worked in a large hardware store for 9 years, one of my minimal forms of entertainment was shaping "sir" and "ma'am" to deal with various rude, abrupt people, seeing what I could get away with that flew right by them.

  But then I am 65 and 6'2" tall.  

  Also, the people who ran the store tried to deal with my anger at some people by saying "98% of our customers are nice, you just have to put up with the 2%" out of fear that the 2%, if sent away, would poison people from coming to the store.  Like the lady who wanted to know where the 2K43's were, "I called and I know you have them", "Get me someone who isn't stupid"  only then telling me she was looking for fluorescent lamp ballasts.

Answer 11

Calling someone sir or ma'am is not disrespecful or hurtful.  Anyone who thinks that has their heads up their you know whats.  A miss is a very young lady or a woman who isn't married.  A ma'am is a married woman.  Regardless of how the terms are used, they are all respectful and not for a stranger to try to decide who is married and who is not.  A ma'am is not old and neither is a sir.  It is a matter of etiquette.  Anyone who feels old by the use of these terms needs to get a life.  I agree with you.  When you are greeted respectfully, say thank you and move on and appreciate the fact they were respectful.  And to the person who thinks baby boomers are old, guess again.  We are younger than you ever will be and loving it.  At least we do more than sit around playing video games and know more about life than you get on your I-Pod.

Answer 12

It's because you make them feel old.  I would do it if you work in customer service.  Call the customers sir or ma'am.  That's normal.  Or I do it if it's a complete stranger and I'm trying to get their attention.  Like if they forgot something.  But it also has to do with where you're from.  My friends from the south even call their mom and dad sir and ma'am.  Weird, I know.  lol  Honestly I think it's rude if you are polite and call someone sir or ma'am and they don't appreciate it.  I think they're in the wrong.  Well, I hope this helps clear things up.  Have a great day!

Answer 13

I LOVE it when people call me ma'am... I cannot tell you how much.. I have always felt this way. I find it so respectful and it shows manners.

It seems now a days, it is the older ladies that don't like it cause it makes them feel old... doesn't make sense.. you would think they would like it, as chivalry is gone... but, I don't understand it.

Don't stop saying it.. because there are people out there that like it.. the ones that don't are ignorant and don't know something good when it hits them in the face.. or in this case, is said to them..

It shows manners and is respectful... bottom line... btw. I am 28

Answer 14

I call every woman I don't know ma'am.  My girlfriend says it's rude, and if they are young to call them Miss.  But then I have to make a judgment against every woman I meet.  Sir is never disrespectful, but if someone asks to be addressed in a less formal manner, you should oblige.

Answer 15

Keep up the good work, kiddo, being polite will never go out of style, and I personally like it.

If someone says, "Don't call me sir, I work for  a living," it seems he's getting British knighthood confused with being considered a gentleman, in the sense of a courteous person.  

Some older women also object to being called "Ma'am," because it makes them aware that you are much younger.  That is so silly.

Now, of course, if you know some one's name, you could say, "Mr. Johnson," or "Mrs. Wilson," but some people object to that also, because of the age thing.

I repeat:  Being polite is always correct.  Keep it up.  

Answer 16

I think of the word ma'am as referring to old people.  So when people call me ma'am it's like calling me old.  And I'm not.  I would prefer miss, or just plain "excuse me".

Answer 17

Sir means you have been knighted by the queen and it's a guy thing to say "I work for a living" and when you say ma'am to a woman it makes her feel old.  There are other ways to show respect than sir or ma'am...quit being a brat.