Why is she saying these things?

Question

I was good friends with a guy who got in with the wrong crowd, started smoking cannabis and wouldn't get a job.

Although im not into this stuff, i still used to see him on the odd occasion and text him quite alot.

I then started hearing from other people that his mother was accusing me of getting her son into these things, and even told someone that i was 'the local drug dealer'.

This really got to me as i am keen on my college work, have 4 A levels, a regular blood donor and a volunteer worker with the samaritans. - do i sound like the local drug dealer to you!?

I know that I can ignore this myself and laugh it off, but it is giving me a really bad name in my village... what should i do about it??

thanks!

Answer 1

I think you should ask her why she is saying this ... clearly you are not responsible for her sons problems! And then warn your family and friends whats happened so they know not to think anything of it if they hear it.

Answer 2

The mother my friend is trying to blame someone else for her sons wrong path to life. Mothers never want to blame their kids and she feels better blaming you, from her  personal frustration. If her son is a drug addict, that women would be living a nightmare in her own home, and to feel better to the outside world she blames, gossips, back stub people ... anyone and believes the attention will go on you or someone not her beloved son. She is in denial of her sons addiction. I say all this from experience. As much as you want to blame her she is living a nightmare having to deal with a drug addict. If you try and confront her she will be either very emotional or so angry, she will not understand, because her mind is so occupied with her sons life

good luck!!!

Answer 3

I suggest you go to the police to complain and also tell your folks and your friend wot she is saying/doing about you!

Answer 4

talk to police

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Answer 5

tell the dude and ignore them and have nothing to do with them!u leave them alone they will leave u alone!they don't have proof!but anyway stay away from them!:)good luck!!

Answer 6

Talk to his mom privatly and tell her how you feel she is probably thinking it is your fault her son is in all of this trouble because she does not want to think that it has anything to do with her parenting skills which it probably does.

Answer 7

I think you should confront his mother and him in a good way and then after that keep away from him you dont need people like that in your life they will only bring you problems on the long run. I know is hard when is a friend but that's not a friend..

Answer 8

I think you really need to nip this in the bud.  You cannot have your reputation put to risk and therefore I would strongly recommend you see the CAB with a view to sending a solicitor's letter to his mother threatening court action for defamation of character.

If you are getting a bad name in the village then a public apology would be in order via the local paper but this may depend upon any further action you decide to take.  On the other hand people in the village who know you well will pay no credence to what they're told and may well jump to your defence.

In the meantime do not let it get to you.  Things that go round have a habit of coming round.

Have nothing more to do with her son.

Some people have recommended reporting the incident to the police but there is no point as no crime has been committed.  It is purely a civil case.

You ask why she is saying these things.  My immediate thought is the blame game.  His mother has to find some-one to blame and for whatever reason it is you.  She is probably projecting the blame onto you to cover up her own inadequacies in not taking more of an interest in her son and what he gets up to in his spare time.  She is attempting to absolve herself from her shortcomings.  

Feel free to email if you consider I can be of further assistance.