Why is she so "cold"?

Question

(I'm a girl, my avatar is messed). Well anyway, I've always wondered why my best friend is emotionally cold to me meaning that while she's my best friend I can never seem to talk to her about life's problems. She says that she doesn't like talking about feelings (even if they aren't hers) and doesn't know how to handle someone crying over her shoulder. Another thing is that I never really know how she feels about 'serious stuff' - she keeps everything bottled up like a guy. Other then that she hates hugs (eg. saying goodbye - like everyone does nowadays) or having me say love ya (we're like sisters).

Shes the only girl I've seen acting this way. I just find it odd. Any explanation, we've been tight for 5 years.

Answer 1

I find it funny that you call her "odd" because that is not odd your friend is just being, well, herself. As a friend, you need to accept that, and I find it strange that you haven't after being 5 years of being "tight". There are people who really are not good at expressing emotions, but it doesn't mean they are unwilling to help--people help in many other ways other than crying with you or giving advice.

Your friend may have also experienced "touchy" situations in the past that have not helped her in a positive way. For instance, maybe she has tried to help someone in the past, in fact did everything for that person, and later that person backstabbed her or was completely unappreciative of her....this sort of thing could make a person feel as though she should protect her feelings more in the future, therefore hide her emotions.  

Answer 2

keep trying to get her to open up...sometimes there is a stigma that revealing emotion equates to weakness. There will come a time when she needs to release all that is bottled up and you'll be there I'm sure.

Answer 3

She seems to be stressed , Or maybe she is too self-centred or maybe Just selfish , no offense

can U plz answer mine:

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Answer 4

Some girls just don't like that stuff, but it doesn't mean she's like a guy or cold. She just prefers to keep her thoughts and feelings to herself.  

Answer 5

I was like that when I was a girl. But I wasn't raised in a household that really discussed emotions. It wasn't a bad home. Our family just valued sarcastic wit (which wasn't really conducive to putting your sensitive emotions out there.) But I grew out of it in college and now have long, touchy-feely discussions about my emotions with my friends. So, just give her time. And keep trying to talk to her about how you feel. She's listening, even if she thinks she doesn't want to. And while you're waiting for her to catch up emotionally, there is no reason you can't have more than one close friend.