Why is so difficult for people to understand?

Question

that i DO love my afamily, but do not like adoption?

Answer 1

I get it too. And it's your choice to like adoption or not. Everyone should have their own choice about that.

Answer 2

Honestly?  I think it's because we haven't yet had a lifetime to understand this.  I'm STILL figuring it out.  Once in awhile, "old" thoughts still pop into my head, and I just HOPE beyond all hope that none of those thoughts ever become words spoken to my babies.

Having never lived it, it takes a tremendous amount of effort to put myself in another's shoes.  Well worth the effort, for sure, but I can't say it's easy.

Answer 3

One thing that I do not like about adoption is the lack of medical history. I think that it would be great if there was a way that the birth parents could at least update medical history that the AP and child have access too throughout their lives if the BP do not want to be known.

Answer 4

I think adoption in itsself is a good thing however there so need to be many changes...

I tend to have very strong beliefs and one of them is that no adoptions shoud be "closed" because it's not fair to the birth mother or the child...Everyone should be able to know what their parents looked like,who they were,their heritage,medical history,and any other question they would like answered....and the birth mother should be able to make sure that their birth child is being taken care of,not neglected or abused,etc....

A child shouldnt be adopted out and then forgotten about either,meaning their should be like a seperate child protective services agency for adopted kids where the adopted parents are checked out on an ongoing basis so that some kids dont end up molested or abused which can and does happen....thats a real shame for a biological mother to give her baby up thinking she's gicing it a better life and then to find out the baby was abused in some way....

And open adoptions should be enforced legally.If the adopted parents dont do as promised to the birth mother then they should be punished in some way that ensures that they will do as they promised....now this could be jail time,loss of the child,etc.....It's just not right to con a birth mother with empty promises.....If you dont want to agree to somehting then dont and find a birthmother who has the same wishes as you but dont lie just to get what you want...

with all of that said,I do think that adoption is good for 2 reasons....number 1 it allows people who couldnt otherwise have children to have a child and number 2 it gives birthparents another option besides abortion or to possibly give the baby a better life,or atleast theyre hoping to,But I think thats like playing russian roulette because there is just no way to know for sure if that baby will actually have a better life or not....I dont care how much the adopted parents are screened,there is just no way to look at someone or talk to someone and know that they're a molester or child abuser....

so yes I feel that adoption is a good thing but there needs to be a lot of changes.....

Answer 5

Because some people view it as a thinly veiled insult.  You have your adoptive family because of the adoption you despise so much. Isn't this argument getting old anyway?

Answer 6

I do get it. I just don't speak about it because it is not my experience.

Answer 7

love for a family = love for adoption? NO!

I think that some think ,how we came into their(afamily) lives defines the view we have on the legal process itself because they don't understand the depth to adoption that "we" do.

Either that or they're just stupid.

Answer 8

I think it may because they are the kind of people who lack compassion.  There has been some recent research showing that some people cannot fathom the concept of compassion and that they cannot be taught it.  Researchers are trying to determine if it is genetic or a result of environment.

Answer 9

cause it just seems like you are complaining when you have a very nice family some people don't

Answer 10

why don't you like adoption? I don't understand that. I think adoption is a wonderful thing. Most adoptions I am aware of created a much better life for the adopted child. What would be a better "solution" for adoption? I don't know your circumstance, but I don't understand this. As someone who is looking to adopt, I like to hear these things from people and be open to all points of view.

Answer 11

I don't know, but if I had a nickel for every time I explained ad nauseum that disliking an institution has absolutely nothing to do with my family, I'd be quite wealthy by now.  LOL

People just can't imagine that the institution of adoption isn't perfect and beautiful.  Therefore, if someone's got a problem with it, it must mean bad aparents, bad adoptee or both.

Narrow, narrow-minded people.  One person in particular on this forum pulls this c**p every time the chance arises.  It's really old...and stinks.