Why is staying at home looked down upon by other women?

Question

Why do some women who have children look down on us sahm's, It's hard work, and we are putting or hard work and efforts into raising wonderful, christian, responsible, loving human beings, and I don't think I can afford to leave that up to someone else. Someone I don't even know. Someone whom I don't even know what there ajenda, background, and beliefs are. Basiclly a stranger.

Answer 1

its d**n lazy , while every other woman goes out to work so they can afford the best for there kids.

seriosuly what do you do when your kids are at school???

like you dont have time for a part time job or w/e

Answer 2

Mainly for jealousy reasons because they can't stay home.

Answer 3

It really isn't looked down upon by most women, but more by the political "left".  In order to make women feel inferior, the media (mostly liberal far left; not always) portrays the stay-at-home mother as an anchor to the old prudish past.  The irony is that they claim they are "looking out for the children".  This is the complete opposite.  

Children need their parents, more so their mothers for the first 5-10 years.  You can see that children of stay-at-home mom's GENERALLY are more intelligent and healthier.  If our society wishes to prosper, we need to hang on to the teachings of our great grandmothers, grandmothers and mothers and teach children the moral ideals of the past generations while they are in the critical 0-10 year range and then when they start breaking away and begin interacting with others in their community, they will have respect and will be easier to teach the higher level of knowledge and skills having the foundation of right from wrong laid during the early years.  This does not mean that children can not be tough high level skills at very young ages, but they are far better equipped to learn if they have some fundamental moral understanding while they learn the higher level intellectual skills.  Most children can not be taught higher education if they do not respect their peers and teachers or the society that expects they to learn these skills.  

You are wise to teach your children yourself while you are young.  Your children and their children will be dominant after just a few generations.  On point, most of the intelligent high producing couples have nanny's (second class moms) and will send their children to private schools (that require the fundamental moral foundation) just like you are doing by staying at home and teaching your children.

Answer 4

well it isnt looked down upon by me. i would love the chance to be a stay at home mom

Answer 5

For the very same reasons SAHMS look down on working moms.

Even your question insinuates that you are putting down working moms.

"we are putting or hard work and efforts into raising wonderful, christian, responsible, loving human beings" - insinuating that working moms don't work hard at raising their children and that working moms won't have loving, wonderful, christian, responsible human beings.

There are lots of SAHMS out there whose children would be MUCH better off in childcare.

"Why is staying at home looked down upon by other women?"

I don't think it's the staying at home part.  I think it's the attitude that goes with it.  See the answers you have so far and you will see.  

And for the same reason breastfeeding moms look down on bottle-feeding moms, and vice versa, and women who don't co-sleep look down on those who do and vice versa, and women who use CIO look down on women who are against CIO, and women who use disposable diapers look down on those who use cloth and vice versa, etc. etc. etc.

Basically, people criticize others who have different beliefs and lifestyles than themselves, and make assumptions and judgments without knowing the people, circumstances, or facts.

Edit- Oh, and FYI - the only time I've seen "other women" criticize SAHMs is in response to people like you who post ignorant questions criticizing working moms.

Edit - No "soft spot" at all.  In fact, I was a stay-at-home Mom for 10 months, and will be again soon.  Just have a soft spot for the criticism of SAHMS and working Moms.  And no part of my answer was "mean".  I am not putting down SAHMS at all in my response.  Just the attitude that some have towards working moms.  Surely that is obvious from some of the answers?  People make assumptions about working moms that are more often than not, false.  Just as people make assumptions about SAHMS that may be false.

Answer 6

I think it's like so much in this world-it stems from jealousy. I think women deep down KNOW that they SHOULD be home, but are sooo torn because the so called women's movement basically tells them they are wasting their life staying home rather than working, so they buy the lie and dump their poor kids with strangers in daycare or with babysitters, to be mommied by someone other than mommy...

So maybe it's two fold-jealousy and guilt. Either way, I personally do not care if they do or don't judge me. I know what I'm doing is the way God intends it because my kids have their mom, and who better to raise their child than mom?! :) No to mention, I don't have to worry about my kids in the hands of someone who is not one of my literally TWO trusted baby sitters and what could happen to my kids...

Answer 7

Not everyones a christian...btw I don't look down upon it..I do think that people (sahm's or sahd's) should try and go to college just in case tehy DO have to work someday.

Answer 8

The women that look down on stay at home mom's are selfish and it makes them feel better about themselves to pretend that you are doing the wrong thing.

Stay at home mom's have the toughest jobs on the planet and one of those working moms couldn't hack it for a second and they know it that why they dish out the grief.

Disclaimer: I understand that some mom's are in more difficult situation and have to work to feed their kids - God bless them. But if they think they "need" to work so they can afford their Lexus payments then they are full of it and should learn some priorities in life.

Answer 9

Well in one of the yahoo questions you judged me and said that i can't add and im not financially responsible to take care of my kids but you know what you take that back cuz alright i didnt add right so what d**n what the h**l i luv my kids and u and nobody has the right to judge me telling me i'm not financially responsible when you dont even work (thats not a bad thing) but don't judge others before you look upon yourself alright?!d**n...

It was on the question saying "How old were you when you had your baby?" by some chic i don't remember her name

Answer 10

I don't judge sahms.  If you can do it financially, more power to you.  I do get irritated when I hear about sahms who get WIC, welfare, food stamps, medicaid, etc.  I don't believe any parent should stay at home if they are accepting public handouts.   I'm a single mom who works full time and pays her own way.....if I can do that, so can other women/men.

However, if you can financially afford to stay at home, so be it.

*edit*  To the woman who claims that the children of sahms are "more intelligent and healthier"....your ignorance is showing.  These children at least have a good example to follow....a parent who works hard and pays their own way.

Answer 11

It's very ironic and hypocritical for people to judge the women that stay home.  Honestly the women who work put their children in the care of ANOTHER woman, so the whole issue is nonsense.

I think it's terrible that women don't support each other.  We all know the sacrifices that both sides make.  So the next time, tell someone that!

Answer 12

I don't think it's looked down upon by everyone and if someone does that, it's probably because they are jealous because they can't stay home with their kids and it makes them feel better to make staying home seem lame so they feel better about working. Same reason some stay home mom's might put down working moms, maybe they miss working and getting out and so they put down working  mom's to make staying home seem better.

Personally I am a stay home mom and I think I have it easy. I am greatful to be able to stay home with my kids but I feel my husband works a lot harder than I do because he works outside the home and then also works at home helping me with the kids and house.

You sort of put down working mom's in your answer by making it seem like they leave their children with strangers. first you assume all mom's who work use daycare which isn't the case and second you seem to be saying that stay home mom's are better.

EDIT: blue eyes is a perfect example of someone who is jealous because they don't stay home.

Answer 13

Let them look down on you and when they get older and look back, they are not going to think it would have been such a bad thing to do (spend more time with their kids).

Or it could be they are jealous that they can't afford to stay home themselves.

Answer 14

I'm a SAHM and wouldn't have it any other way!  BUT, my dd is 6.5 months, when she's a bit older ( 3 or 4 ) I will be going back to work, and look forward to that as well.

Answer 15

It is looked down upon? I didn't know... nor do I care! This is the most rewarding job I have ever had... and the hardest! I LOVE being a stay-at-home Mom! I am their mother and I want to take care of them- not pay someone else to do it!

Answer 16

LOL. because it's not a REAL job and a Monkey could do it. SAHM's are simple, why do you assume that Christian women are the only ones staying at home? If you got out more, i.e. got a real job, you would know this.

Answer 17

Most of the time it takes two incomes to make ends meet nowadays.  Unfortunately many times we judge others by their "materials"  such as a big nice house, nice ride, etc.  many judge your worth by your bank account.  

I know, it's not right.  But it's the way it is.  Don't bother with what those people think.  Just be yourself and surround yourself with like minded people.  If someone makes you feel bad for your decision to be a SAHM, have less to do with them and do not value their opinion.

Answer 18

I am not sure...do working mothers look down on stay-at-home moms?  Maybe they feel badly because they have to work to make ends meet?  But I do agree with one thing that you said...I personally wouldn't want a stranger raising my kids.  I am so glad that I am the only influence that they have right now.  Their young minds are so impressionable!

Answer 19

I understand what your saying, and when my kids were first born i stayed at home, but then i wanted to go to work, i mean i love my kids but i didn't go to college for nothing.

I hope i didn't offend anyone, its just my opinion

Answer 20

one word. Jealousy.