Why is that people think you need to be married just to have a baby with someone you love???

Question

I hate when people ask about having a baby with their boyfriend that they have been with for 3 years or even 10 years, and people respond saying " Wait till you 2 get married". What does a piece of paper have to do with having a baby with someone you love???

Anyone else feel the same way????????

Answer 1

it shows commitment.

you shouldn't take on the responsibility of raising a human being unless you know they will have both parents. if you don't feel ready to get married to the person you love, then having a child together usually isn't a great idea. notice how the term 'single mother' has become common, but 'single father' has yet to catch on...

plus, it is some people's religious belief to cherish the sacrifice of matrimony, and if they want to spread the message to others, who seriously gets offended?

Answer 2

People have said that to me before on here. My fiance and I have lived together for 3 years and have been engaged for over a year. We started ttc in October last year and that is always the first thing somebody says, "You should get married first" If it were really a "commitment issue" then you would think people would look at having a baby as more of a commitment than marriage, you can get a divorce, but you can't get rid of a baby (Well technically you can...but,...you know what I mean) Having a baby is a beautiful thing, and if two people are ready for it they don't have to be married. People are saying that "babies need 2 parents", just becuase two people aren't married, doesn't mean that they both won't be involved in the childs' life, and just because two people ARE married doesn't mean that they both Will be. We have made a commitment in our hearts and that is all that matters, even though we DO plan on getting married in the future, it is not as big of a priority as having a baby.

Answer 3

its the whole having kids out of wedlock thing! I personally dont agree with it. There are more divorces now, probably something to do with it! I have been with my boyfriend almost 7 years, lived together for 6 years, been engaged for 5 and a half years and we have 2 kids and a baby on the way. Its just an expensive piece of paper that doesnt mean anything if you love each other. Weddings are so expensive nowadays, id rather spend that money on my kids!

Edit... After reading what i wrote, i mean i dont agree with having to be married before having kids!

Answer 4

well, i don't think it should matter either way. my boyfriend and i are not married (yet) and I'm pregnant. no one has given me c**p for it either. so no, i don't feel that way. love is what really counts.

Answer 5

I understand you feelings, but as overly conventional as that piece of paper seems, it does say a little bit about the commitment you plan to make to a person. And perhaps more importantly the commitment you're going to make to the baby. After all, its more than an accessory bought at Bangles an Beads.

That being said, many people rush to get married so that they can rush to be divorced. I don't understand that at all...

Answer 6

It's just tradition. Some people feel that unless you have pledged to be togeteher, in front of God, The law, and everyone you know, you can't trust each other. I kinda agree with you but If they love each other so much and are gonna spend their life together they might as well get married. It's just a piece of paper, right? Then why not do it. At least you get the tax benefits.

Answer 7

I would have to disagree, getting married can signify a life long bond between two people. When having a baby before getting married, there is always the possibility that the two people may not get along and break up leaving the baby without proper parental figures. I would have to agree that someone should be married before having a baby.

Answer 8

Hm. I would wonder why my boyfriend was so afraid of that piece of paper.