Why is the USA So backwards ?

Question

I didn't say it was the grandparents responsibility and please learn how to spell ridiculous !

What I said was that you couldnt tell me that *IF* The grandparents to be , supported their daughter financially and emotionally in those first months to a year whilst she got a job etc that the child wouldn't be better off with the birth mother and her parents than being adopted.

When you become a parent you take on the FULL responsibility to care for your child until such time as they are able to do so fully and maturely for themselves

Tell me peoples why is the teen pregnancy rate so high in the USA ??

Answer 1

One thing I am curious about is Australia's mores and values.  Specifically as they pertain to family.  

In America, it is my firm belief that corporations are ruining our families.  They make employees travel all over the place so they can't be home or work long hours.  If you are in the military, chances are you have done a tour of duty in Iraq recently.  This makes it hard for couples to maintain their bonds and for families to stick together, hence the high divorce rate in theis country.  

These days the dollar does not go  as far as it used to.  Our society still frowns upon the very young mother...over here an early 20 something is expected to continue their education or pursue a career and wait for parenthood until at least  their mid 20's when it is taught they are financially ready.

I won't disagree with you, but I hope you will address how Australian society might be different which would allow natural mothers to parent their children instead of place them for adoption.

ADD:  I am in no way defending what goes on here.  Family situations are absolutely horrible over here between lack of support amongst the members and people acting irresponsibly.  What makes teen pregnancy high is the amount of girls having s*x at an earlier age.  This has become acceptable here.  When I was raised twenty plus years ago, it was not.  It is also acceptable to boot your kids out after a certain age; if they are moochers I don't disagree with this philosophy, but to me, if there is a new family member, the parents need support and if that is not provided things will go downhill really fast.

Answer 2

Ugh!  I hear you loud and clear.  I travel to Europe frequently for business and have to face a barrage of questions about the backward barbarity of the US.  It is sssooo embarrassing.  They truly see Americans as ignorant zealots with regards to social issues (well, come to think of it almost everything else as well).

I wish I could answer your questions.  It is so sad that Americans are not able to discuss these social questions intelligently.  I have traveled to the most remote regions of Europe, yet am able to stop in any truck stop or cafe and have a conversation with a well informed peasant.  Here??  Forget it!  All you hear is parroted zealotry.  Jesus would have been wasted on the good old US of A.  People here are too stupid to interpret his message of forgiveness and tolerance.

Answer 3

I wish I could say Canada was any better about adoptions... but sadly I can't.

I don't understand why when you look at australia's record of dropping adoption rates why countries like ours can't learn a few things & do the same.

Its just sad

Answer 4

honey s*x is s*x, and no amount of education is gonna keep it from happening - at least they are not aborting like some other countries i have read about

Answer 5

I feel that if you are a teen who gets pregnant and does not want to have an abortion, or keep the baby for any reason (too young, inexperienced), Putting your baby up for adoption is a terrific thing to do. The baby will be safe and will be with people who are unable to have kids or are just choosing to adopt. The parents who get the child will be more than delighted to have a new baby! And the teen will not have to drop out of school or anything else.

Answer 6

to tell you the truth these white folks are making it bad for us.

Answer 7

i placed my son for adoption 7 years ago and it was one of the smartest things i have ever done.  him and his parents think so too.  lets bring down the rate of abortion and support adoption... duh...

Answer 8

I do not agree with you.  

First of all, our country does not focus on morals and we generally accept teenage pregnancy, even though it is frowned upon.  This attitude is why there are so many young mothers.

Second, if that young girl makes a mistake it is HER CHOICE if she puts her child up for adoption.  It might be hard, but there are programs out there to help if they wish to raise their child.  Should they be given more assistance?  Absolutely not.  My husband works hard for his money, and they garnish enough of it already (in the form of taxes).

In addition, why should it be the responsibility of the child's parents to raise her child?  While I see their responsibility to a degree, adoption is a far better choice than a child being raised in a home where s/he is not completely wanted or accepted.

I will add to that further by saying that the mistake of teenage s*x that results in pregnancy can be ended with the baby being adopted.  The child, and that child's child mother, need not suffer the repercussions for that mistake for the rest of their life.

I fully support young mothers who decide to raise their children-but they need to do it on their own.  And they CAN do it on their own-I know of several who have done this without expecting my family's tax dollars to finance them.  That is just my opinion, and I know a lot of people will disagree.

Ultimately, the solution to this is for these young girls to quit putting themselves in adult situations.

BTW, they are not forced to give up their children.  As I stated above, they are already eligible for assistance with medical care, housing, food (in the form of WIC and Food Stamps), cash assistance, and are able to receive a refund of more taxes than they even paid in.  The last thing they need is "more".

Answer 9

I agree with you!!!!

America gives adoption a bad name.

Its all money money money. I cant see how that is right.

Answer 10

I have to say that it is great the adoption rate has dropped dramatically in Australia.  Where the US does need to reconsider their ethics & 'rules' of adoption there has also been a decrease of adoption in the US as well.  Unfortunately, instead of being 10,000 they estimated it to be around 175,000 in the US & it has been estimated to have dropped down to 125,000.  Still an alarming number but still a decrease.

http://www.uoregon.edu/~adoption/topics/...

I think the more vocal adoptees become in demanding their rights, & the more support and education we can provide to mothers to keep their children the more we can do to drop that rate in the US.  I think it's very important that mothers that feel that they have no options be given more help/assistance in keeping their child.  Money alone should not be the reason they can not keep their child & that plays a big role to people who do have it.  Lack of support from their family & friends should not be a sole reason for them not being able to keep their child. Unfortunately, a lot of people are pressured to do so and feel they have no other choice.

The only real reason that anybody should even mention to a mother to have her child be adopted (and hopefully, within their own family) is if it is known that the babe would be in a harmful or life-endangering environment.  Any other reason is only temporary & more should be done to keep families together.  I have lived in Europe, Asia & see families outside of the US that promote the strength of family preservation...h**l, they want their children & their new spouse to live with their parents, take care of their grandparents, etc...it's an important bond & America unfortunately has forgotten that the foundation of any great society begins within the home...your family. sorry, getting off topic.

I know that in Korea they realize it's a 'shameful business' to have their children adopted out and the adoption rate out of that country has dropped dramatically in the past couple decades.  However, they also do not want to adopt another child if it's not their blood because of the importance to keep their family 'blood' pure.

Answer 11

You know what has brought down the rates of adoption in Australia?  

Abortion.  In 2002 there were approx. 73,000 of them.

Don't kid yourself that Australia has fewer unplanned pregnancies or that more girls/women are keeping their babies.

In Australia, abortion is considered a medical procedure.  Killing an unborn child is considered a 'right' of the mother.  At least with adoption, the mother has the right not to parent the child.  In Australia she has the right to kill.

Edit:  To be fair, Australian policy on children has moved away from 'closed' adoption.  So in addition to abortion rates, you also have to look at the foster-care numbers to get a true picture of how many children are being cared for outside of their birth home.

Answer 12

I have followed the links from other Qs and As on this forum and learned that Australia has less than 500 adoptions per year, the UK less than 1,000, and the US has (IIRC) between 130,000 and 140,000 per year. That's grotesque. I can see why you think we're backwards!

These other English-speaking countries have made many positive changes to their family policies, including getting rid of private for-profit adoption agencies. My guess is that taking the profit out of adoption probably eased much of pressure on pregnant women to relinquish. And family-supportive policies make it easier for families to stay together.

With the coming ratification by the US of the UN's Rights of the Child, many of those same reforms will have to be enacted here, or else we will be in violation of the treaty.

Answer 13

Unfortunately no amount of s*x education in the schools is going to stop young adults from having teen pregnancies or spreading diseases.  The more they are preached to not to engage in this activity the more interested they are in finding out what it is all about.  I think that for most cases the girls are giving their child up for adoption because they know that in this society they don't have a chance to provide for their child by working and finishing school.  They won't be able to provide the nessecary items that a child needs much less give them any kind of values because they are still trying to figure their own values out at this stage in their lives.

Answer 14

and where are you from that is SOO much better?

EDIT: I agree with below that why in h**l would it be a parents responsibility to "support emotionally and financially" their teenage daughter who got herself pregnant and decided to keep the baby. . .  thats bull ****! I am a parent myself, and yes I would love my grandchild, and would emetionally support them in everyway but if my son or step daughter were to become a teenage parent it is in NO WAY mine or my husbands responsibility to raise and "support financially" their child! Thats ridiculous!

Oh and to the person below with the comment on healthcare in the USA. . . I have health insurance thru my husbands job. . . its an HMO and its WONDERFUL! I see the dr I want, when I want. I've never had any problems with medications/prescriptions I need or seeing a specalist asap. I also pay hardly anything out of pocket. No dr co pays, only $5/10 for medications, and my sons birth was covered 100% (many other positives as well)  Why in h**l would I want to give up great coverage that we pay NOTHING for. . . to go to universal healthcare where I may/maynot be able to see the doctor or specialist I want to see, and I may have to wait for an appointment, or I may be told what I can/cant take. My healthcare is great. . i guess I am one of the luckier ones, but I am totally ANTI-universal healthcare for that reason. Someone like me would LOSE in that situation!

Yes its my responsibility to raise and support my CHILD. . . NOT MY CHILD's CHILD!

Answer 15

I was thinking the same thing actually... I do feel lucky living in Australia as a person with a family because we get a lot of assistance from the government (although there are people that still whine that it isn't enough).  First we get Medicare which allows us to get healthcare for free.  Then when someone has a baby, they get a baby bonus which is over $4,000, then money for immunisation (which is just an incentive because immunising your baby is free).  Then every year you get family benefit allowance (for example if you have two kids, you can get around $3,500), you can claim this once a year or in fortnightly payments, part of it is not income tested, so everyone gets it.  You also get childcare rebates if you have low income which helps fund childcare, and I think as a single mother you get other allowances (not sure exactly what it is).  My child started school this year and I was so surprised to receive money from the government to help with school fees.  I think all of this assistance has resulted in most families being able to cope when their teenage daughter falls pregnant.  When I was in my late teens (in the early 1990's)), I knew a couple of girls who got pregnant young,  none of them gave their children away, their family supported them and they made something of themselves.  I even went to University with a girl, she was 20 yrs old and had a 5 year old.  She managed by putting her child in childcare a few days a week and the rest her elderly mother would take responsibility.  She had a part-time job, but also got some money from the government.  I'm not saying it is easy being a single mother in Australia, but it seems a lot easier than being a single mother in the U.S.  

Then as a person adopting in Australia, we really have no choice sometimes but to go overseas as obviously there is a very long wait in domestic adoption (up to 7 yrs when we started).  We also have to deal with only one adoption service in our state which is government run.  We basically have to jump through hoops and I would be very surprised if it takes someone less than 3 years to go through the adoption process and it can be as long as 5.  We have no pre-birth selection here either which I am glad about.  

Oh, and I dont know if other Aussies have the same experience, but in Year 7 (first year of High School) we had s*x education and found the details so horrible that we swore never to have s*x (things change after turning 17 though), but anyway, we knew about contraception, what to get, where to get it.  We even knew that if there was a chance an accident may have happened during, then you were off to the doctor to get the morning after pill the next day.  There were so many ways to avoid pregnancy, that we often wonder that those who did fall pregnant "by accident" knew what they were doing all along.  

Anyway, we all know money doesnt solve everything, but it certainly makes it easier.  Most of all, I just think families should support each other no matter what.

Anyway, good luck to those in the U.S. who are after reforms........

Answer 16

it is not just the teenage girls giving up there children. There is still a need for aoption and foster care as alot more people are just not taking care of their kids the way they should (neglect, abuse) so their children are removed.  I think you are only looking at one side of the picture.

Answer 17

So many good responses.  Here in the US, we do a whole lot of "family values" talk.  It means nothing.  People would much rather see someone get rid of their child than find ways for people to raise their children when they'd prefer to do so.  You cannot tell me that the great disparity in the number of adoptions in countries like Australia and the UK as compared to the US is based solely on women in the US just not wanting to raise their children.  I really doubt women in the US are that inherently different from women in these other countries.

I'm going to say something that will probably get me in trouble with some folks, but I don't mind.  In our country, we encourage women to "get rid of the problem" if there's an unplanned pregnancy.  By "getting rid of" I don't necessarily mean abortion.  I mean relinquishment.  How is this truly a family value?

And yes, I agree that many people have an awfully hard time integrating Jesus' message of love and forgiveness, despite touting Christian values.  Christian-based adoption agencies have notoriously been skewed in favor of relinquishment.  After all, these young women committed the sin of fornication.

Answer 18

ooooo watch out you'll be labelled a whiner and "always out to bash the USA" just as I've been labelled today lol!!

Seriously, I agree with you 100% the USA is WAY behind.  way way behind the rest of the civilized world (and this is coming from an American, gasp!)

pssst.  Adoption is big business in the States and the money makers don't actually want family preservation and a drop in adoption rates.  This is why the money makers created the NCFA to fight to the bitter end to protect their $$$$$$$  It's so transparent but still people buy into their BS "Adoption Facts" - go figure

Yup, the USA should take a leaf out of Australia's book, absolutely

Whining over peeps

Answer 19

As you pointed out this is America NOBODY is FORCED to give their baby up for adoption!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why don't you go to a third world country full of poverty and genocide, if you're so dis-satisfied with America! Maybe you would have a little different prospective if you weren't a spoiled brat.

Basically you want all my $ (taxes) so that you can comfortably support as many children as you choose to have? Yeah that doesn't sound backwards at all!

Answer 20

Nobody is FORCED to give their baby up for adoption, it's their own choice. And there are many programs designed to aid single parents.

Have you ever thought that these people CHOOSE to give their babies up for adoption? That they know they are in no way capable of caring for them the way they should be, and so decide to do what's best for their baby?

Answer 21

The US is not a very family preservation oriented country. There is a lot of "talk" about caring about families, but not a whole lot of actual support. If the money were taken out of adoption, if adoption agencies, brokers, facilitators, attorneys, etc. went the way of dinosaurs, that would be a positive first step.

Universal health care would go a long way toward helping everyone in this country (including women and children), but unlike many of our European contemporaries, the US would rather keep the HMOs and pharmaceutical companies in business for billion dollar profits than take care of the health of every citizen. Same problem with adoption. There are a lot of fat cats getting rich off of the backs (or should I say bellies) of US women.

I am completely floored when I see people whining about "their tax dollars" going to women to help keep a family together. They don't blink an eye when their tax dollars go to bailing out failing airline companies, or crooked banks, or legislative pay raises. Our government runs us, we don't run our government.

Unfortunately, family preservation has gone the way of the dinosaur, and it has a lot to do with priorities.

ETA:  "why are there so many teens thrown out of their home when their parents find then pregnat ?" I don't know, but it just goes to show how our country DE-valuates family. I wish I lived somewhere else, somewhere where family was valued, but this is where I live and what I have to work with, and what I have to work AGAINST.