Why is this one guy rlly mean to me?

Question

so i dont know why but there is some guy that is rlly mean to me. that seems like his personality to be an a*****e but i dont know why he is mean to me. i didnt even do anything to him. he is only nice to girls that he thinks is "pretty" but i think im pretty because everybody always says i am. Whenever im around him i feel ugly cuz he hates ugly girls but i dont get why he is mean to me. Sometimes i think its cuz im kinda flat chested because im a hardcore cross country runner and im built like an athlete with a six pack abs. Why is he mean to me? i didnt know i was ugly.

Answer 1

Nothing you did or how you are caused it- he is the one that decided to be mean.

Here is a site on scapegoating, you might look at others, also.

http://www.scapegoat.demon.co.uk/

If you can, keep distance from him.  You do not need or deserve people like this in your life.  Hold your head up and hang in there.

Answer 2

He probably has a serious crush on you and he's just trying to flirt.  He is going out of his way to get your attention, right?  He might not even understand why he insults you and he might not be able to stop right away.  Boys mature more slowly than girls do.  Keep that in mind.  You might have to be his 'teacher' for social skills.

You sound absolutely lovely.  I don't think he is doing this because you're ugly.  Forget about that.  

Here's the plan:

When he says mean and horrible things, you just walk away.  Never respond to his meanness.  Don't smile, don't make any comments back, don't give him dirty looks.  Give him absolutely nothing.  Ignore him completely and don't give any clue that you even heard what he said. Don't look at him.  Start talking to someone else and pretend that he isn't there.  Start looking in your bag for something.  Ignore him!

But..... if he ever says anything vaguely nice, make sure to flash him your most brilliant smile, make direct eye contact, and say something encouraging.  Depending on what he said you could say, "Wow.  That was a really nice thing to say.",  or "Thank you",  or "I agree with you.  It is a nice change to get some rain."  

The point is that you shoot him some positive conversation and eye contact immediately after he says anything that is even remotely OK.  

This is called Conditioning Training.  The concept is that you totally ignore bad behaviour and reward good behaviour.  Keep a journal and watch how quickly he gets in line when he is confronted with this kind of psychology.  You can outsmart him easily.