Why is when a woman stays home with the kids it is "the toughest job in the world" but when a man does its not

Question

A lot of my friends and I were discussing this at a neighborhood get together. All the men agreed that they don't get enough "credit" when they watch the kids all day long as their wives expect when they watch the kids.

Answer 1

i work so dose my husband i have 5 year old and a 16 month old and 19 weeks pregnant with #3,i have a large house but it only takes me no more then 2 hours to clean and 1-2 hours to cook and i still take care of my kids plus go to work.so i say working moms have it tougher then stay at home moms.

Answer 2

women don't complain its the hardest job in the world, we just want acknowledgement that it is just as much a job as well as whatever her husband does

Answer 3

you know its not the toughest job in the world but it is a non-stop job it starts when they are born and dose not end. I have a 6 year old and an 8 month old and I do the cleaning of the house and the taking care of the kids and it just never stops. I clean the house and the kids play they leave a mess so i am cleaning again. We eat I am cleaning again and so on but I love it and still need a break at some point. Now men just sit and watch the kids play and leave the mess that was made for mom when she gets home. Some do help out a bit and its a thank not credit. wow what a can of werms!!!!

Answer 4

people just expect it to be the woman's job kudos to either s*x that stays home with the children, it's a never ending job

Answer 5

Did the men who watched the kids carry a baby for 9 months then push it out of small hole? Did the men who watched the kids now have a ruined stomach from strech marks? You need to man up! Just cause you watched kids for a few hours doesn't mean you're Superman! And women do NOT complain!

Answer 6

Because men don't get PMS.  They are more tolerable than women and they don't do as much.  Women staying home with the kids includes cleaning the entire house, making meals, helping with homework and trying to take care of herself.  Men just watch and play with the kids.  Its just how it is!

Answer 7

If you are only doing it every once in a while and not all day every day, then I'm sorry, but you can't compare the two; whenever you are doing it all the time, it's a job that never ends- you are trying to juggle taking care of the children, the housework, and meals... I know that my children are less demanding w/ my husband than they are w/ me (he has said so himself)... not sure why. I don't expect an award for being a stay at home mom and doing my job-I don't need to get the "credit" for it, but sometimes I do need a little bit of time for myself- even 30mins a week to take a shower w/out the children playing in the bathroom-just a little quiet time...

In my opinion, you don't deserve "credit" for watching your own child(ren), it's your job/responsibility as a parent.

Answer 8

I agree with Ann (only on a more polite level), and Secrets of Truth... Some women want more credit than they really deserve... I, too, stay home, homeschool my 10-year-old and 9-year-old, take care of my 16-month-old, and am 6 and a half months pregnant with our last... I don't want a medal; right now, it's my job. Although, admittedly, a nice, "Hey, you're a good mom," every once in a while, really helps. :)

If men do it, they should get recognition, but, no one should be treated like a God or Goddess, for doing what *should* be done: Raising kids right, and keeping a clean, cozy home... Just my opinion, of course.

Answer 9

Are these men that are watching the kids "all day long" doing it ALL day, every day? If not then I don't think they have any say in the matter.

Answer 10

Because women like to be martyers and get a ton of credit for everything., carrying the baby, having the baby, raising the baby, cooking and cleaning....

But when men do it.. its nothing....even though Men who then work VERY hard most likely everyday and do alot of the physical stuff around the house repairs, car stuff that the women NEVER do...they never get credit for the that...Meanwhile the man is working AND taking care of the kids for day...but its apparently NOTHING, but he is expected to work a job, AND then do all the man chores and the Honey-Do list.

Women are crazy.

Answer 11

Do these men actually raise the children? Or do they babysit all day on Saturday while the wife/mother raises them most of the time?

Your text lacks some clarity.

Unless the man is a Mr. Mom AKA stay-at-home dad, then babysitting, I am afraid, is as though you're comparing apples to oranges.

For example, it was a common practice for me to babysit and work at a day care for all of my teen years. Yes, this was difficult work, but there is a beginning and ending to the task whereas raising children, sometimes 3, 4, 5, 6+ children, is a 24/7 job that is constantly given little credit.

I am overjoyed to see stay-at-home moms/dads as today's society is profoundly double-incomed and kids are "latch-key". We've entered into an all-work/dying-family-unit era. It's disappointing.

However, if you're speaking of being a full-time Mr. Mom, I would have to argue that I know many Mr. Mom's and find your argument simply not true. Rather, stay-at-home dads are seen as equal to stay-at-home moms, just that the actual job is little regarded by western society. Hence, modernism harbors favorable views towards the working professional.

Answer 12

heres why:

because a woman rarely gets a break and she is watching them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.. and they dont get to go out and work.. well the ones that wants to be there for their kids and not put them in day care..  

but most women likes to complain too d**n much also.. i am a 25 year old with a seven year old son...  i know it is my job, and i dont complain.. but most people does.. but i can get a break when i want one, also...

and most of the time.. the woman has the bottles already made for you guys, the house cleaned(besides the mess the kids make while you guys are watching them), they probably already gave the kids a bath...  maybe already cooked a meal, washed clothes...  so, i think it is totally different, but i am on your side, also with this one.. it should go both ways.. :)  at least you guys are the ones making the money and supporting us.. haha..

Answer 13

Unfortunatley the man don't receive credit for alot of things and this is one of them.

A father calls it babysitting, A mother calls it taking care of her babies.

When a father baby-sits.. that is what they do SIT.... they don't do nothing more. Maybe they scream across the room to check on them.. or make them a sandwich for lunch....but thats all they do!

When a mother cares for her child it includes cleaning, bathing her child, actual cooking, play games, and reading a book..

Men live in our shoes just for one day!!! Do everything we do... and you will see why you don't get credit...

Answer 14

I don't know about all men, but when my husband is home with the kids, it is easy. Why? because all he has to do is watch them and play with them, and change a few diapers. he does not do laundry, dishes, any housework of any kind and certainly no cooking.  I have to prepare all the meals they will eat that day, I even have to dress them or if they go somewhere they will be taken in their pj's. I come home to a messy house and messy kids and they all want dinner NOW.  I appreciate the help, because it saves us money, but he gets my thanks, he does not get CREDIT.  I take the credit.  

Edit* to whomever gave me the thumbs down, he does this once a week and makes himself scarce on weekends so I can get caught up on the housework, thanks very much, so if you thought I was being harsh, think again.

Answer 15

I don't know about a general answer to your question but I can tell you what it's like here at my house. I stay home all day every day and not only watch the kids but also do the laundry, cook, clean (albeit that can be debatable...I wouldn't do a White Glove Test at my house), etc., etc. When I go out for an evening with my girlfriends I come home to a countertop full of crumbs, dishes in the sink that need to be washed and, if there was a pee-pee accident, rags just tossed int he utility sink. My husband 'watches the kids' (except when he's busy on the internet surfing for a Harley and letting them run amuck with their Polly Pockets) but he doesn't do anything else around the house that would be part of my routine 'watching the kids' (obviously this entails more than just the kids...it's taking care of the house too).

And I agree with some other previous answerers as well...it would be nice to be recognized for what we do all day. We sure as heck don't get a paycheck, annual review or a bonus so a few kind words- or even a proper night away where husband 'does it all' (like *gasp* hand-washing the dishes that can't go into the dishwasher) would be nice.

Answer 16

how much "credit" do the women get? not very much, i think, which is the whole reason people feel the need to point out that it's a tough job (which it certainly is, if done properly).

in our marriage, we both give each other equal credit and respect for the work we did over a day, whether at home or in the office.  but neither of us expects a medal for living the lives we've chosen to live.

Answer 17

Because mowen are put on this earth to make men feel guilty.

And when staying home is all they got then of course it is the hardest job there is.

Answer 18

because moms do it as a full time job where as most men only do it once a week, if that. Also, when you watch the kids, do you clean the house and make dinner as well take your kids out somewhere to play all in one day? I'm not saying you don't, but alot of men don't.

Answer 19

Because a man does it on occasion a woman does it every other day of the year, honestly how many days a week or month do you really take care of the kids completely by yourself and how long is it really for.

I agree equal credit due when equal work has been done for a man or a woman. My kids are 7 & 9 and the time alone my husband has had to "do it all" would probably not even total a month. Not quite the same thing.

And most women who say this do it 24/7 and it is different when you do it 24/7 you do not get OSHA ordered breaks, lunches, sick time, vacation time etc.

And I also agree with the answer about not having do get laundry etc. done, or homework, or dr appts. for most women it is not just taking care of the kids.

Texas Princess had a very good point, if I ever got a simple thanks for all you do it would make it a little easier to give him "credit" when he watches the kids. I thank him for working so hard for us on a regular basis but do not receive that in return, it is simply expected of me because I am the mom.

Answer 20

Men are more apt to let the kids do whatever they want.  Women tend to generally be more "emotionally" {as in Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) involved with the kids.  I think tht if the uys were primary care givers 24/7  It would be a different story  (sorry if I went off on a tangent and missed the question, as I don't know if I quite understood it)

Emma

Answer 21

Because women believe they are "entitled" for some reason.

Same as childbirth being" the worst pain on Earth"...that's an outright lie...have these women been shot, or severely burned, or had bad road rash, a broken bone, a severed limb, ect. (I highly doubt it), but they are "entitled" to think it's the worst thing ever. Not all, but a lot of women are just stuck up snobs, that take, take, take, and never give anything back. I find it quite pathetic that one parent would say it's harder to care for the kids, just because of their sexual organ! Seriously! My husband does just as much with the kids as I do, it's a shared responsibility. And I'd never say it's harder for me than for him. it's EASY for both of us. Taking care of a baby ISN'T the hard part. Taking care of a home, baby, relationship, finances, shopping ect...all put together is what makes it a juggle. That goes for mom's or dads!

Some women give the rest of us a bad name. I guess thats why divorce rates are sky high (take, take, take, me, me, me......no man wants that! Not any I've ever known anyhow.)

Edit* Perfect example down below. Marriage/children DO NOT have to "ruin" a woman either, they ruin themselves!

Kids are 3years8month old girl, and 7 month old boy. this is 3.5 months after having my second baby:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27107241@N0...

This is 12 weeks 4 days pregnant with #3!!:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27107241@N0...

And this is 1 week 2 days ago at 14 weeks 4 days with #3!!!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27107241@N0...

It ony ruins lazy women that have no respect for themselves, I feel sorry for their husbands!!! It's called eating right, and excersizing! It's called not sitting on your but of 9 months eating 24/7! It's a CHOICE!