Why me? and how can I move on ?

Question

I am 17 years old , I am loyal , shy , have a nice and caring personality, I often feel emotional .. I have a lot of love and a lot of care for people close to me although they dont for me. Since I was 2 years old I was raised by my disabled gran as my mum became a drug addict and my dad moved on with his life , my mum never had any time for me or treated me like a daughter , my mum would never talk with me or show me any affection or barely notice me when she was in the house , she was homeless time to time ..in and out rehabs etc and I had been and seen and understood it all from a very young age . . as for my dad , he would take my places every week and would let me stay with him his wife and step son at the weekends and visit his side of the family ( aunts , uncles , cousins etc) , all that ended . .my dads wife turned out a ***** who hates me and my dads family hate her so now I havnt seen them for 12 years and they havnt contacted me , my mum doesnt come to visit me or my dad anymore , still living with my gran and for years I have never felt any self worth and yet I have never stopped loving them and thinking about my family , my past has made me the person I am , I am an emotional person , I lack self worth and confidence in myself and I dont understand why my family would treat me this way. I have never been a burden to anyone. I dont know what way to react to this anymore and how to move ahead from the past and not feel so hurt.

Answer 1

Your parents are supposed to give you self worth (self-esteem) but did not. Read this article to learn about what you missed.

http://www.articlestreet.com/family/pare...

You will now have to find it within yourself. Socrates said know thyself. See web page below and learn how to find what you are missing. Then you will be tranquil, not emotional.

Answer 2

Hi Dawn,

This is just a suggestion, have a chat with your GP see if you can have access to talk to a counsellor This will give you an opportunity to talk to someone who can give you the time and space and offer an independent ear that is not judgemental and may provide a solid base for you to move on in the future. It is confidential and very professional, they may not have all the answers but may help you to understand yourself and provide the tools and confidence to move forward in your life. Life really is battle sometimes but the more you understand yourself the more you will grow in confidence and be able to overcome some of the battles as they come along - it helped me and still does! good luck I hope I helped. If your GP cant help contact local counselling services directly and I am sure they may be able to you. take care    

Answer 3

I have a mother like yours. She has never shown a scrap of interest in me.  I completely understand how you feel.  Despite being treated in this way, it is very often the case that you will still want the love and approval of your natural parents - it is a basic human instinct.  Not having the love of your parents can leave you feeling insecure and give you a low self esteem and a feeling of worthlessness.  These feeling sthat you have are completely normal.  I am much older than you and being rejected by my mother is something that I will never come to terms with.  That said, you can move on with your life - you should talk to your gran about how you feel - she has been a mother to you.  Try and understand that the way your parents behaved is NOTHING to do with you - it is because they are selfish and put their own needs before yours.  You will probably never understand why you parents are the way they are - stop trying to as it will only bring you pain.  Look to your own future and making a complete life for yourself and remember that they are the ones missing out.  Some people just don't deserve to have children.  Good luck.x

Answer 4

what a super mom your going to make, I am jelous of the kids you'll have since i know you would never treat them this way. You have started out life with more insite then most people get in a lifetime.

Dont give up now, soon you will be out of school and looking for a job, starting your own life. Take the things youve learned and let them drive you to have a better life, and to give others like your children (in the future) and husband a better life.

You know what a bad life truly is.

Answer 5

you need to meet some one dawn i dont think your a troll cause you have taken time to write this stuff u need to put your past behind you and move forward the best way to meet sombody is through work such as a restraunt or shop please be strong and think forward there are ppl out there who care xx

goodluck x

Answer 6

If you can, get a copy of Norman Wisdom's book My Turn. His childhood years were truly harrowing, yet he was basically driven by the good in him, he overcame adversity and even now in his 90's enjoys enormous respect and fame.

He is an inspiration to me and one of my all time heroes.

You can't change the past but you can work wonders with the goodness inside you.

Answer 7

I am so sorry that you have so much love to give and so little coming back to you.  Would your gran approve of a little puppy in the house?  It would bring both you and her immense joy, as well as something to talk about.  Puppies are loyal, loving and fun.  They also keep you so incredibly busy that you will find little time to reflect on the sad history of your family.  Give it a thought!

Answer 8

Your grandmother has clearly done a good job at rasing you. And you come across as a balanced person.  If none of your extended family wish to be in contact with you anymore, fine. It's their loss.  Concentrate on yourself and your grandmother.  She is your family.