Why most women don't know how to stop domestic abuse?

Question

Why most women don't know how to stop domestic abuse?

Answer 1

Women are often in denial or made to feel they are at fault and the cause for the abuse...also there are financial considerations, fear, being comfortable with the familiarity of the man regardless of the abuse, the fear of being without him is greater, etc and not having an independent support system, e.g., family and friends.

Answer 2

This is an excellent question yet so hard to answer. Once a person is in an abusive situation it usually takes an extreme amount of strength, resources, knowledge, and confidence to get out of it.

Yes, quite often the person being abused is repeating the cycle in which they were taught and/or grew up with (the abuser is probably also repeating the same viscious cycle that they learned).

Many times a person feels sorry for the abuser (in other words, they understand that it is not the abusers fault that they are this way, this is what they learned or they were abused themselves). While this may be true, this does not make it ok for the abuser to use their partner as their punching bag, a way to deal with their issues. Quite often the abuser also has very little self-esteem and confidence with themselves. They look for a partner that shares the same weakness or is weaker so that they can control them. This, in turn, gives the abuser a sense of power finally for once in their lives. This is 1 reason why weak people are drawn to weak people and strong people are drawn to to strong people.

Like another answerer said there's always a period right after an abusive episode of a "honeymoon like" atmosphere. When the abuser adamently apologizes and swears it will never happen again. The person being abused now feels so good, and, because he/she has such little self-esteem, they tend to focus on these "good" times rather than honestly acknowledge the severity of the abusive situation that they are in.

Another reason an abused person may struggle with ending the violence in their lives is due to their extreme fear of the abuser. If they dare to say someting to him/her, they very well may get the c**p beat out of them, or, worse, get killed. So it's actually easier just to stay in the situation rather than try to end it.  

In severe situations such as what I just described a person needs to do the following if they are serious about ending this:

1) Have a plan, plan your "escape"

2) Gather all important papers/documents such as birth certificates, car tiles, social security cards, etc. and put them somewhere safe.

3) Have a bag packed and hidden with whatever necessary clothes and put with papers.

4) Document as much as possible, and, if possible, share what you're going through with at least one other person.

5) Make sure you have a cell phone. If you have bad credit get a pre-paid phone.

6) When the time is right (safe) get out and never look back. Go to an organization such as Alternatives for Battered Women-places like these can, first and foremost, provide safety to the victim and their children. Then they can help with getting you back on your feet independently.

Answer 3

This is a good question, but the answer is very complicated.

For some women they grow up around domestic abuse and then marry an abuser - as hard as life is - this seems normal to them.

Some women are ashamed - they don't want to go to anyone for help because they are embarrassed that this is happening and hope that by being quiet about it then their abuser will change.

Some women blame themselves!  Years of mental and physical bullying can lower a woman's self-esteem to the level where she believes she is to blame for the bullying.

Some women get caught in a vicious cycle...the abuse happens but then there is a wonderful making up period where everything is great....then the abuse starts...the abuser is usually very good at manipulating his victim.

Some women want to get out but don't know where they will go or how they will support themselves.  They think about the kids and their schooling...all sorts of reasons why they cannot just get up and walk out...financially and emotionally dependent upon their abuser...

So as you can see there are many many reasons - but what we need to do is raise awareness - there is help out there.

Answer 4

Because they are broken down.  An abuser is also a master manipulator.  These women feel inferior.  Maybe they feel they can't get away due to financial reasons.  Maybe they are afraid to leave.  Almost 100% of domestic abuse worsens when the woman leaves.   It is not easy.

Answer 5

If someone is bent on stalking you; beating you; and killing you-they will. Protective orders don't do any good when a violent person is determined to harm you. Many abusers say they'll kill their partner-or their children-or their pets if they try to leave and do kill all of the above when they leave. Don't you watch the news? Women are killed on a regular basis in the US and world wide by their husbands; ex-husbands; boyfriends and ex-boyfriends. In other countries women are  killed by their mother-in-laws; fathers; brothers; etc.

Answer 6

How can you stop a dominant force like that unless you just give up. That could be giving up on a lot of things. Women are weak and emotional. What do you expect them to do? Domestic abuse is a very bad thing and has and will go on for centuries. The only thing that can be done about it is to ignore the situation and forget everything! What wpould you suggest to stop it?????????

Answer 7

Women who are abused may come to BELIEVE that it is their fault.  Or they will say it is their fault so as not to confront the fact that they are married to an abuser.

There are all kinds of reasons, already mentioned.  Yes, low self-esteem, possibly because of having come out of an abusive household.  We repeat the patterns of our parents, both good and bad, more often than we think.  And yes, because of economics.  If all of the assets (if any) are linked to the abusive spouse, there may be little avenue to escape.  And if there are children, it may not be easily possible to take them away.  Also, there is that societal maxim that "they should stay together for the children".

Abuse is not legitimate.  And if one of you starts quoting or misquoting the Bible about women obeying their husbands, read also the commands about husbands caring for their wives.  It's funny how that part gets misplaced.

(I'm not arguing Christianity here, folks.  I'm just pointing out that some will use text as justification for bad behavior)

Answer 8

Same reason most robbery victims don't know how to stop theft.

The criminal commits the act, not the victim.

Cheers :-)

Answer 9

Compliant type of neurotic; need affection and approval; example-women that stay in or return to abusive relationship. Their biggest fear is being deserted and left alone. As long as they aren't abandoned they are happy.

Answer 10

Many women soon or gradually come to realise their own contribution to abuse.

They realize that it was their own fault at times.

Answer 11

they have no choice, they may be stay at home moms and housewives, they may have kids, if their husband leaves they will be left with nothing, so they endure some abuse....HAHAHA!

Answer 12

The woman can't stop domestic abuse, only the abuser can.

I heard on tv that on average an abused woman takes 25 beatings before she has the courage to leave.

I guess women stay because the abuser pomises to change over and over again?

Answer 13

Because often there are emotional, practical or financial reasons which make leaving the relationship very very difficult. Sometimes walking away is much easier said than done.

IC there is never EVER an excuse to use physical violence aganist your partner, the fault lies with the one raising their hand  - they always had the option to walk away.

Answer 14

i think that women do know how, but don't act because of fear that they will be abused more severely.

note to guys - DON'T ABUSE THE WOMAN WHO HAS GIVEN YOU HER TRUST.