Why must people criticize and give their 2 cents about things you have have spent years studying?

Question

I have spent the last four years of my life studying Exceptional Student Education and I feel that I am rather knowledgeable in my field with both my education and my many hours, days, months, and years of field experience. And, today I was criticized for my redirection of a child that is ESE. Supposedly, I am supposed to excuse behavior because he or she is ESE. Well, guess what? Society doesn't, and my job is to teach them appropriate behavior not to excuse it. And, then on top of that this person proceeded to tell me how I should work with the child and how I mustn't redirect their behavior, instead I should just ignore it and let them do what they want to do because he or she is ESE. Wow! Now we are belittling all of our ESE children to not being accountable when they can be. I understand some of them cannot be, but many are capable of it. I am an ESE teacher not because I want to babysit them, but because I know I can teach them and reach them and push them to their personal best!

Answer 1

I too would have done exactly the same as you, i have worked with ASD students ranging from 10 to 19 for more than ten years plus my own son is ADHD and you are quite right society is very unforgiving. I can only think that maybe it was the tone you used maybe the carer/helper thought it a little harsh, i have often been accused of being to stern but those that have criticised will also say how no-one runs riot in my class and students progress.Some people find it hard to be firm with a child the moment they are told that they have a behavioural problem,it's very much a "he can't help it attitude so just ignore it" and obviously ignoring it neither helps the child it's self nor those around them. So keep up the good work and don't take notice of those that find fault in what you are trying to achieve. Once they see the results they will back down. Good Luck.

Answer 2

When you are in a position of authority,( not necessarily being paid- but even if you ARE more knowledgeable) people will always criticize. Be strong, follow your research/experience/gut feeling and persist. There will always be those who think you know too much/don't know anything and will put you down. THEIR problem, not yours. Develop a tough skin and believe in what you are doing!!!

Answer 3

Because this is the internet.  Some people post questions here becasue they are lazy (even though they could type the same question in a search engine & get better answers), or they want sympathy or support.

The thing is this community is text only & as you know words are only what 7% of the communication.

And if the answer fits their pre-concieved notion, that is all the authority they need.  Doesn't matter what your experience or degrees are.  So continue to provide the best input you can but always remember:

Never give advice — a wise man won't need it, a fool won't heed it.

Answer 4

It seems that your "friend and helper" is not being exactly that.  Perhaps you should invite her to just spend time with you outside of your school day.  A helper is not there to tell you how to do your job, and the behavior you described was not respectful of your experience and knowledge.  (Plus you're right and she's wrong.)   I'd be a bit more concerned about that pulling down the pants bit and not chalk that up to a symptom of ADHD.   That child sounds seriously out of control.

Answer 5

By not addressing the behaviors you listed, you would be opening up the district to a possible lawsuit.  The person may have been well-meaning, but you know what you're doing, and you're right.  Regardless of the label the child wears, you are not doing them any favors by excusing their behavior. In fact, you would be doing them a huge disservice to ignore it, because society never will!!

I have said for years, in regard to my own son, that I don't excuse unacceptable behavior, because the time will come when he wants a job.  Nobody at that job is going to say, "Poor kid, just ignore it - he has ADHD/ODD."  They don't care about that!!  They want their job done a particular way, and they want the people who represent them to know how to behave!!

Answer 6

Well, this is a one-sided explanation of what happened, and I'm just going to play devil's advocate about why SOME people would share their experience.

Number one is that many teachers, especially new ones, do not have the experience, regardless of education, to deal appropriately with a child of any need, special or not. I do parent training for teachers dealing with special needs, and I am blown away by how many say "I've already taught an autistic child, I have nothing left to learn." Never mind that every autistic child is different, with different behaviors, accountability, internal motivation, triggers for outbursts (which are NOT a choice for behavior) It is funny to see them struggling in the one-on-one with a child because they KNEW that they knew how to deal with it, and ignored everything that the parents had to say about the child.

Secondly, you don't state what kind of redirection was occurring, for what kind of behavior. You don't state what was in the child's IEP (which must be taken into account before making any choices about redirection or discipline) There may be certain behaviors that are being worked on, a few at a time, because to work on EVERYTHING at once would be overwhelming for a child, any child, not just one with a disability.

Be open. Please don't ever limit yourself by "knowing" what you can and cannot do, but always be open to observing and learning, from the child, from other teachers, from other children.

Answer 7

who was critical.  was it a parent or was it your supervisor.  that could make a big difference.  but i sure hear where you are coming from.  if the person who criticized you was a parent, you should nicely inform them that this is your chosen field and your methods have been through the trials by fire and that they work and you only want what is best for their child.  it is just hard to make a judgment about your being criticized when you did not state who corrected you.  if it were a layman as it were, then the above explanation would apply to them as well.  if it was another person educated in that particular field, i guess you two just don't agree on methods and maybe can have a discussion and you could explain why you do what you do and how you have found your methods to be successful.  i admire your calling to do this work and  your dedication.  keep on keeping on.  you don't get tackled if you don't carry the ball, if you get the drift.

Answer 8

well you should