Why must the Guy you really like wait for s*x, but not the guy you don't?

Question

I think we have all been there, where you go out with a girl and everything is good, you even get physical. But, then she says

"oh I really like you and I could see this going somewhere, but last night happened to fast, so we need to keep seeing each other, but hold off on that."

Why do women punish the guy they like and reward(with s*x) the guy they know they have no future with.

Answer 1

idk?

Guess some women have some slef respect and dignity when t they hold out on s*x.

Others that give it to teh other guy might not realise they have no future.

Or maybe the women you go out with or go for are stupid s***s?

Answer 2

sounds like a personal problem... to me.

Answer 3

i think it is very true that a lot of women do this - it is not particularly logical. but it does have some sense. if you really like a guy, you respect him, you want to see him many times, you want a kind of build up and excitement to your first time because you know its gonna be really special when it happens, and you want to get to know each other first. with a guy you just fancy, but dont see it going anywhere, your not necessarily gonna see him again...so why not doi it straight away?

plus - some guys are of the opinion that if a girl sleeps with you on the first date, shes a slag. i completely disagree but it makes sense that women want to hold out and be respected more if they really like the guy: seen as 'girlfriend material'.

Answer 4

Because women do not follow the laws of logic

Answer 5

Because you want to make sure that you´ll enjoy it too... and the best way to do that is to ensure that you have a trusting relationship.

If it´s a one night stand and awful, you can just slip away.

Answer 6

I know it seems unfair, but in my experience, the faster you put out, the less there is to move onto... Many guys I've met lose interest after s*x.

If a girl wants to wait, it means you mean more to her than a booty call.

It's really a compliment, but I can understand why you would think it sucks.

I think mainly we like the guy so much that we are afraid we'll mess it up.

Answer 7

gosh, it amazes me that some guys don't get this yet! Its got to feel right! Nothing more annoying than a jack russel waiting around to hump and drop you, so women find out whether the guy is like a jack russel, or alternatively, a nice decent guy that we'd like to be involved with that can control that pole vault in his pants!

Answer 8

I have no idea.  When I was young I never bothered to go out with a man unless I planned on having s*x with him, because I had no wish to spend time fending off unwanted sexual advances, something I always found acutely embarrassing.

I generally found it easier to have s*x with men than to talk to them anyway, I tended to regard s*x more as an ice-breaker than anything else.  Once I'd had s*x with them then I could get to know them better.  Or not, depending on how I felt.

Answer 9

Because most women feel that when you do not have s*x with a guy and hold off on it they think he is going to stay around and not cheat or use you for sexual pleasure. Anything of that sort really. And they guy you do have s*x with, well you know he just likes s*x and but isn't focusing on you and your personality. Women tend to pursue guys more personally rather then physically. And the guys they do not see a future will just have mutual relations.

Answer 10

That is such a good question. I would be interested in the response. We all do it. But why do we do it?????

Answer 11

this is not a problem today, but in the past we have made mistakes in our choices and said oops after that nice guy we turned away was really what we would have chosen.  There is a saying about kissing the frogs until we discover the prince.  I have finally met the man I want and we both discovered each other in our latter years.

Answer 12

If they give you s*x too early, you're going to think of them as a one-nighter instead of seeing them as relationship material. If they want a future with a guy, they don't want that guy to think of them as "wham bam thank you m'aam."

It's the sad truth that guys tend to get more serious with the girls that wait.  It works with guys too.

OR, maybe you might not just give a girl the right vibe. I agree that the feeling has to be right. I know a few couples who got married after having s*x on the first date, because they were SO attracted to each other.  But, some people also say they look down on a person that has s*x with them too quickly.

Answer 13

It's not meant to be punishment, or a reward. Some people just feel that taking things slowly makes for a stronger relationship. If they don't really like you then it doesn't matter anyway, so they feel more comfortable about using you for s*x.

Answer 14

good question, why is that?

Answer 15

Just do your avatar's name.

Answer 16

They are the rules and they must be followed!

Answer 17

this must only happen to you !

Answer 18

In some cases BECAUSE they have no future with him, and she'll never have to see him again, and even if he brags to his buddies, what does she care?

Answer 19

How do you know if the same girl will go further with someone else on a first date? Just curious, doesn't really matter - except some girls like to wait longer and some girls don't.

Some girls do do this kind of game playing, but not all. And when they do this, it's because (as guys on this site have actually said, so not totally illogical) some guys wont hang around if they think a girl is "easy". So it's kind of a response to that mentality. If they want a relationship with a guy, they have to pander to the fact he probably has a different expectation of how girls should act than how guys should act. But as I say, many girls are consistent in either holding guys off or not.

Answer 20

Firstly....brilliant question. Just brilliant! It is a tactic, probably in the subconscious mind...whereby...they are insecure that if they do not save their best for later, the guy will evaporate. So they see withholding s*x as an insurance to your fidelity. WRT other guys.....its living for the moment and hence less thought and emphasis is therefore placed on his long term presence and the sexual mystery respectively.

Answer 21

Because you want him to appreciate you on a deeper level than just a physical one.

Answer 22

Extremely perceptive of you. This is not a new phenomena either. They seem to want to put the guy they like on a pedestal and reveal only their best behaviour to him. The rough and ready type, however, gets all the fun, notwithstanding that the other guy wanted it as well, but is not allowed to have it.

What many women don't seem to understand is that s*x is used by men as a means of getting to know women. Women seem to want to operate the other way round. It does seem to be all about what the woman wants. It also proves that women can switch off when it suits.

Answer 23

becuase of your screen name

Answer 24

theoretically (not from experience) if u dont want a future with a guy, its a "one off", i guess its like grabbing a coke when youre thirsty when nothing else is available, you pay, you drink, you go,  but not like setting up long term payment to a water company, where you have to make long term plans, fill out your name & address, credit details etc. er, yeah. if you try to set up payment to a water company & you stuff it up when you want long term supply you lose out loads more than grabbing a one off coke from a vending machine..

Answer 25

Because women like to be treated like dirty wh*res just not by the man they want to marry.

Answer 26

once they see how small your d**k is, they then back of and make an excuse.

Answer 27

She has needs to and if a guy comes along who'll do to fill the sexual needs so be it. It's just a fling. But if she likes you a lot she'd going to want to make sure of each step for the best chance of it working out. She wouldn't want to rush it to find out you are the type to walk after you were bored.

Answer 28

It it's the having s*x too quickly in the relationship, she's testing you to see if it's ONLY that you want. By the sounds of it. And you need to test him in order to know if it IS in fact right.

Answer 29

Girls value a guys opinon of them. If she just sleeps with the soon to be boyfriend, then he will view her as a s**t. She doesn't want to damage her Rep with him.  That's why she will wait to have s*x.

Answer 30

Because the guy who wants s*x with you, will do everything to make you like him

Answer 31

They want the guy they really like to respect them and get to know who they really are before they delve into a serious physical relationship.  s*x can be a very emotional thing for women, but women have hormones too and just really want to have s*x sometimes....sometimes they have s*x with people they're really attracted to, but dont want a relationship with.  Holding off s*x really lets you get to know the person on a personal level and s*x lets you get to know them in a completely differnet way.