Why my 9 year steals, and how to stop this stealing habit?

Question

My 9 year daughter stole a class mate's book. It was a boy's book, and my daughter is not even interested in those kind of books. We take her to public liberary, she even has collection of her own.

We eventook her to police station and had a Police man talked to her. She had promised to not to steal. Few months later she attempted to steal a lip goss at some department store. She has 13 lip glosses. She already has the same kind of lip goss she was trying to steal.

At home then we took all the lip glosses away from her. Told her how stealing is bad, showed her the web article of WyeonaRyder, Weseley Snipe.

Are we doing the right thing? Why going to police didn't work? Then what would work?

Please help.

Answer 1

Maybe she needs attention and she knows this will get it for her?

Answer 2

A good spanking will probably work with the threat that if she steals again she will get another.

Answer 3

Your daughter may be a kleptomaniac. It may be an impulsive condition that she can't understand or control at her age right now. You said she took items that a girl wouldn't want, has said that she won't do it again & she may even mean it honestly. Those seem to be some symptoms of kleptomania. If the regular parenting tricks haven't worked, time outs, grounding, removal/restriction to tv, computer, games, etc, I'd start looking toward professional help. She doesn't need to have shoplifting charges on her juvie record when she's 15-16.

Answer 4

Tell your children about the grave consequences of stealing

If your child has stolen something warn your children of the consequences and escort your child to the place from where s/he has stolen the object

Tell your child that there is no dignity in stealing and that s/he should work hard to achieve things in life. Tell them also that you did not have even few things of all the things which you have presented to your children

If you think that you can afford what your child wants and that it is something your child need to have tell him/her that you would gift them only if they behaved properly. Sometimes rewards encourage children to do good things

Don’t make the mistake of fulfilling all the wished of your children as it would be difficult to accept a NO from you in future

Hide your children’s favorite toy or dress or cap and wait till your children tell you that how they feel on missing it. Tell them then that this is how the other person felt on losing his/her toy and hand over the object that you kept hidden so long. Your child would feel guilty and will ask you to accompany you while returning the object. If your child is unwilling to return the object, ask him/her to be brave in returning it so and that by doing so s/he would not repeat the activity as it would hurt the ego of the child to feel guilty once again.

Answer 5

i think you need to punish her to show her that her actions have consequences. No tv time, no play time, or take away her favourite toy etc to show her that its not acceptable. If you just keep telling her its bad but there are no real consequences there is nothing to stop her doing it again.

Answer 6

Sounds like she may have a problem.  She needs to see a therapist.



You know, Wynona Ryder had  a problem too.  She didn't need to steal.

Answer 7

u need to spank her and spank her long and hard thats not good her stealing i give u props for at least trying to stop her but its time she pay take it out on her bottom she will learn

Answer 8

No more talking, your being to soft. Put your foot down, she needs it especially for her age. She has learned all her life not to steal! ;(

Answer 9

I would like to applaud you for trying with your daughter.

Wow i would think a trip to the police station would of scared her enough to never do it again.

Maybe if she got caught stealing at the store it would teach her a lesson. I'm sure you made her return the lip gloss and say she was sorry.

Maybe it's time for a psychologist to evaluate her.

Sorry I'm at a lost here. I can not imagine a 9 year old stealing. You need to nip it in the bud before she get older and in real trouble. and starts stealing from friends and family!  

Best wishes

Answer 10

take her to the police, except this time, have the police arrest her and send her to juvie!