Why my husband and I don't go along in any way? What should I do?

Question

Our relationship was good may be just for a month before we got married. Rest all of the time even before the marriage day, the relationship was sour. I was wondering why he wants to marry me when we fight so much. I got into it because he says that he loves me very much. So I thought may be it's me who is making the situation like this and I can work on it. And we got married. I am still surprised. I was insecure too. Now, even if we don;t fight every day, but that kind of closeness is missing. He can't talk openly or with his heart. It's always something is pulling him or me from behind. If I ask how was ur day, he will say it is good even if there will be so much to talk about, he cant say that. That makes me sick. It's just an example. He is mama's boy as well. Is my life is ruined with this man? To be honest, I don't even trust him when he says he loves me. If a person loves someone will his ego come into the picture? Will you be picky in what I say? Will you not have anything to talk? What is happening with my life? I thought I will be secured with the marriage and lead a happy life, but I am not happy at all. What shall I do?? Plz help me, I will be really thankful.

Please dont ask me to talk to him, nothing changes after the talk also.

Answer 1

Sorry to say, but the problem is YOU.

Read your post again.  Honestly, how CAN your husband love you?   You obviously don't love yourself one bit.

You need therapy in order for this marriage to work.  YOU WILL end up cheating because that will fulfill your prophecy that you are a bad person.

PS, GUYS DO NOT TALK MUCH!  Know this, stop placing blame on him for your own insecurity.

Answer 2

Mmmm....back off. Give him the gift of sweetness, quietness, and comfort.

Instead of pressuring him with the things you mentioned, try:

Clean your house from A to Z

Cook his favorite foods

Make your home the place he'd rather be than anywhere else

Get a hobby like quilting

Compliment him everyday: "I'm so glad I married you", etc.

Smile at him a lot.

Answer 3

I just now came from the library I got out the book ''Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'', by John Gray Ph.D., my counselor suggested it. Try it

Answer 4

oh sweetie.. that's a hard one.. listen everyone deserves to be happy that's you and him.. maybe you both are together for the wrong reasons.. you should be able to communicate on some level.. and it sounds like there Usenet one..? you real need to look at this.. are YOU happy?? if not you need to do what is necessary to get there .. if he cant be the person who he is to make you happy then you both need to find common ground and move on towards happy ness....good luck