Why my husband doesn't want to spend time with me anymore?

Question

My husband goes to work then comes home and either watches tv or goes next door and spend all night over there!! He spends all of his time on the weekends with his friends and we do not hardly ever get time alone!! When I try to talk to him about it he gets mad and tells me that we are married and we have our whole lives to spend together!! It hurts me because we haven't even been married for 2 years yet and if this is how it is going to be then I don't know if I will be able to handle it for the rest of my life!! What should I do? I know he loves me and that he is not cheating, but I feel like he doesn't want to be around me anymore!! Anyone have any advice for me?

Thank you!!

Answer 1

It's been only two years and he's already doing this? Sounds like trouble. Things don't get better on their own, in fact they usually get worse. It sounds like he really wasn't ready to be married and is trying to recapture his independence. Unfortunately he doesn't have that right anymore. You two need to talk and see a counselor. And some words of advice...NEVER say I know he is not cheating. It's the dumbest thing any woman can ever say. All men can cheat even though we want to think the best of them and if the signs are pointing that way it would behoove you to check it out and make sure. (and i mean by doing some homework not by asking him...he won't tell you he is) If he won't change do yourself a favor and get out early. Don't waste your time trying to fix something he doesn't want to repair.  

Answer 2

It sounds like maybe things have gotten too routine for him and he's bored. Not that he doesn't love you. Tell him how you feel, try to spice things up, approach him with something he couldn't turn down.

Answer 3

He would rather spend time with people who are not going to nag him about spending time with him i geuss...go figure.

Answer 4

DO you nag him?

HAve you let yourself go?

IS he g*y?

Answer 5

Sad, but already time for counseling...and are you 100% sure he is not cheating?

Answer 6

Whats so interesting next door? Why is he so defensive? in my experience people only get angry and defensive if they are hiding something. If you cant talk to him for fear of a row, write it down and give it to him.

Answer 7

I agree - he is not interested (i.e. - bored). He finds time away from you more enjoyable than the time with you. There could be many reasons for this - some of them could be your fault - some of them are his and some are both.

Bottom line - an answer like - "we have the rest of our lives to spend together" so I don't have to spend any with you now - is a pretty weak argument and shows he does not care (at least not right now).

Get counseling and you might be able to save the marriage. Sometimes problems like these are easy to solve once the truth is out and people understand what is really going on.

One last thing - don't be so sure he has not found someone else to occupy his time.  

Answer 8

communication luv, thats what u guys need to do, the only way that you can get him to understand what you are going through, you need to communicate these feelings to him, sit him down and talk to him about it,thats the only way to a healthy, fruitful relationship.GL

Answer 9

today when he comes home from work meet him in a cupless, crotchless lingerie... i guarantee he won't be wanting to go next door tonight

Answer 10

I don't blame you, I wouldn't want to be treated like this the rest of my life either!!

How about making new friends, and just get involved in your own life and not be there for him either.  He may notice!   It will be a shocker to him, if he does.

I'd do this  and then if nothing is mentioned about what your off and doing  and not there for him, I'd leave.

Answer 11

Thats because he's bored.

Answer 12

Maybe because he sees you everyday he doesn't miss you the way you miss him. My advice take up a hobby that facilitates that void you feel. Who knows, you might learn to enjoy your solitude.

Answer 13

Girl, put on those 'walking shoes'!!!  Put them on and walk right out that door!  I would make myself so 'unavailable' he'd be running around town trying to find ME!!  Don't let men treat you like a door mat or before long you will become one!!  

Answer 14

You need to get out and do the things you use to do before you met him.   Just because you are married doesn't mean you can't have friends, go to dinner with them, or a movie , or just find a hobby that you like.

I know it has only been 2 years but things change.  He still loves you and wants to be with you.  

So find some friends , go out and enjoy yourself.  Stop thinking about what he is doing and who he is with.  Like you said he isn't cheating just hanging with the guys.  

You also need to do things together. .

Things will change from year to year.  You have to adapt or you won't make it.  It's pretty much like this no matter who you would have married.  There are some exceptions !

Hubby and I do things together and apart.  We are getting ready to go on vacation. For years I went fishing with him. I love to fish. But as I got older I decided I wanted more in my life then just fishing.

So we pick out places that have guide fishing for him and sightseeing for me.  He fishes all day I do my thing. We get together at the end of the day, have dinner and take a walk.

We use to go to the Bahama's, Bermuda, and Jamaica when we were younger but it got old after awhile.  

Find something you both enjoy to do and things you enjoy separate.  You'll find things will be so much better and you won't care about what he is doing you will be to busy doing your own thing.

You don't want a divorce.  You love each other !   That's hard to find. So stick it out and see what happens.  Good luck.

Answer 15

sweetie why you don't talk to him and try to make plans and taking him out and try to do fun stuff to motivate him! good luck!

Answer 16

Maybe it's YOU?? WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE GUY'S FAULT???

Answer 17

You can surprise him, maybe buy something that he likes I don't know something romantic.