Why my husband is a momma's boy?

Question

Why IS my husband such a mommas boy and he won't contribute more than $200.00 to our bills and groceries + rent and I contribute $644.00. I care about him so much that is our biggest problem other than that we get along pretty well, but my family wants me to leave him but, I can't b/c he's my best friend and I love to much! I just don't know what to do !

Answer 1

Is he paying his mother's bills??? If not, I would say do not leave.Many families are quick to say leave...but if you have a good husband that loves you it is worth it to try and work this out. DIVORCE is not the answer, yet.  Try not to compare how much your putting in and how much he is putting in. This will cause a lot of resentment that will only stress your marriage even worse. Your a team. Now on the other hand if he is paying mother's bills and your family is actually suffering from this income loss then maybe it is time to sit down and try to find a resolution. Maybe talk and come up with a plan of how much he will contribute to her weekly, but he has to stick to your agreement. While you are talking be fair to him in the amount he gives to each of you. His family comes first (YOU ARE NOW HIS FAMILY), but trying to come up with a  mutual agreement that you can both agree to could help. I would still say that divorce is not the answer right now...it sounds like you have a good relationship and sometimes if you are complaining to your family and you need to vent maybe tell them I don't want opinions, I just needs an ear. This helped with my family. I just sometimes need to vent, but that does not mean I want to leave. Only you can say when you have had enough. Good luck!

Answer 2

Well ,if you can't change him,leave him.

Answer 3

He is doing that because you are letting him to that.  

He will continue to treat you like that until you do let him know that the world doesn't revolve around him.  

Men are smarter than you think and many of them hope that we love them against what our head is telling us to do.

Decide if you want to continue to be treated the way you or if you want to change it.  If it is the latter, you will find that YOU will need to be the person in the relationship to change.  (by not coddling him anymore).

I've heard some financial experts say that how a spouse treats their money is a good indication on who the feel about their spouse.  

Answer 4

are you saying your upset because he gives his money to his mom. or where does that go. any way mom won't be there forever and should be working on learning to live with you.

Answer 5

What are you nuts? You are dragging him along, when you can be independent and actually find a guy who is a MAN. He is not a man, your relatives are correct, leave him!

Love is love, but it has little contribution to everyday life

Answer 6

Maybe what you need to do is make a stand on this issue, explain to him you can't carry the burden of bills mostly on your own, that you expect more help and that if he decides that he won't be more of a partner than a mooch you will be forced to leave.

Answer 7

leave him, make your own life, it would become toxic.

it's a bad bet!! keep your mother-in-law away.

Answer 8

Most guys are mamma's boys! You are right in telling leaving him is not the answer. Only explaining things to him frankly works a bit i guess. It takes time of course, but it does work. I dont accuse his mom while i talk to him (coz that would trigger more wrath ha ha), but always explain him softly what I would wish him to do :).  All the best...  

Answer 9

why is it that when one gets married always expects perfection when marriage is mostly about understanding and sacrifice aside from this would you rather your guy to be mommas boy or a play boy , you cant blame him because he is committed to his loved ones this show that he is and will be committed to you as well.

Answer 10

$644 and $200? Where do you live??? That's freakin cheap!  

Answer 11

My sisters husband isn't a mommas boy, but he gets paid minimum wage.  He is a genius, he is just lazy.  She finally got fed up with him, and started giving him only what he was contributing.  She would make herself and the kids steaks and give him peas and potatoes.  When he asked about his steak, she said" If you want a steak then get a job and buy a steak."  I don't know.  My sister has a gruff sense of justice, that I can't pull off.  But, I think she's hilarious.

Answer 12

pick me plz!!

talk to him. tell him how you feel. he is supposed to be taking care of you not the other way around. he is the man he's supposed to act like one!! if he cares about you he will listen to you. and if your love is strong you will both get across this problem.

Answer 13

You're not working as a team and your bad mouthing him behind his back.  That doesn't sound like a very stable relationship.

You can't change a person you just have to figure out a way to deal with him the way he is.  You should have realized this before  you married him.

Answer 14

I know all about the momma's boy thing. My so to be husband is a momma's boy. If we have any problems at all with money his mom is the first one he calls and she fixes it. Now granted I love her to death and it does help us in times we need it....but we are 2 grown adults that should be taking care of this stuff by ourselves. We both chose to have kids so we should bare all responsiblity. When I attempt to pay her back she won't have it.

If I were you I would talk to him. Tell him that it isn't fair...that you feel as though it is sort of taking advantage. My question for you is...besides the $200 is he putting in any other money...for extra cirricular things....clothes...food...blah blah blah. Because that is what I do. My fiance pays for every bill but 2 and I cover those 2 bills and make the "extra" money for everything else we need. Being married means that your money and his money is "your" money....so there isnt' well I made this much and you only made this much....

But if he is slacking let his *** know.