Why my husband told this?

Question

my husband got mad because i ask him why is he taking loans to pay for his sister school? he said that his family is most important for him and that i am no one compare to his mom and sister. i wanted to go to school this semester and they told me to pay out of pocket cause my financial aid was late. i don't have the money so my husband said go to work! he also told me that i don't do nothing and that i am go for nothing just because i don't have a job and i stay home with our kid! he said that he has married some on that is no worth it and that he should go with another women that he liked before. i feel so bad i just want to get a divorce but i don't have no money i feel so bad! i don't have no friends! and nothing! he talks bad about me at his work! i don't know what to do!

Answer 1

You don't need cash money to file for divorce.  Get an attorney and he will request his fees be paid by your ex.  If you have somewhere to go with your child...go.

btw...you have heard the expression "Blood is thicker than water."?

Answer 2

Just leave him if you feel that bad or if he makes you feel bad. Why don't you have a job it does take both to work. Having a kid is no reason not to work. I worked the whole time my son was growing up and my mother had 7 kids and she worked every day 8 1/2 hrs a day.  

Answer 3

Go to an attorney and see about a divorce, child support and alimony.  You may have to get a job.  However, you may be able to get child support while you are in school.  Are you eligible for financial aid at school?  If so, then you need to complete the paperwork ahead of time so it can be approved and you get the money in time to pay the fees. You might want to get post office box where your husband can't interfere with your checks, if you can get to a post office from where you are.  Ask the attorney what your rights are.  

You don't say how long you have been married or how old your child is.  You can get a share of his pension if he has a pension, but it is based on the number of years you are married vs the time he has worked there and the length of the time until he retires.  So don't forget that in a divorce and settlement.  Sometimes it is in cash but if it looks like it is very much you might want it to be  your pension and to survive his death.  Your attorney can advise you.

You have been browbeat by an abusive man.  He has been nasty to you and mean and he has been tearing down  your self esteem.  it is possible that he could get physically abusive, if he has not already done so as he is an abusive and controlling personality.  If he has been physically abusive to you, tell the attorney and see what help you can get as they might be able to get you into a women's shelter with your child.

Honey, go for the money from him. The attorney can ask in the lawsit taht the husband pay for the divorce, although you may need a bit of money for a deposit.  If you can pull some from the food budget, do it.

One problem can be the loans he has taken out. Is it on the home for collateral?  I hoope you did not sign for anything.  Any documents you can get - such as a pay stub from his work and  anything on the loan, the house payment, etc and an idea of utility bills, etc. you need to get and take to the attorney to have copies made.  You can put them back after he gets copies.  But you need to document your husband's income and the household expenses as well.  

If your husband has insurance and it would cover psychological counelling, you need to go or to go to see a counsellor at school.  this is because your husband has tried to brainwash you to think that you are of no worth.  You are a Child of God and God loves you.  You are a woman and a mother and are important.  He tries to put you down so he can control  you.  

At this point I would not encourage you to argue with him as he could get abusive. Just go to the attorney and explain your situation.  Take as many documents showing his income and the expenses of the home as you can.  If you have a deed to the property where you live, take a copy of it. If you have a lease on the house or apartment, take a copy of that if you can get it easily.  The proof of income might be  more important.  The information about the loan might be good and to be sure the attroeny knows it was for his sister's education.

It will be difficult but you need to see the attorney as soon as possible as you are in a bad situation.  He is trying to destroy your self esteem.

He isn't worth it.  It will be difficult, but you will likely be better off.  And you will have your esteem and your daughter as well as this man is abusive to you and cruel and could be to your daughter as well.

Good luck to you.  Remember, you are a daughter of God and he has wonderful kids!!!!!

Answer 4

OMG.GIrl get it together.Get out now.NO man is worth this.You are a mom now and that means making your child #1.You can get financial aid from social security and or food stamps and even housing or go live with roommates.This is not healthy for you.You have your whole life ahead of you stop wasting your time.There is a man out there for everyone and he is not yours.If you need to go to sugary daddy .com  lol.Take control and stop this before your looking back and say i wish i would have chosen a diff. path in life.    

Answer 5

He is a mean and hateful man and I would not be taking this. I would not listen to what he says. He is trying to beat you down and you cannot let him. You are worth more than he is. Do you have any family that could help you out? I would be finding myself a job and putting the money up for you to leave. Get your own bank account and get yourself prepared.  

Answer 6

You dont need money to file for a divorce your local courthouse has KITS that allow you to file on your own and then he will be served. You need to find a way out. Even if you went through a womans right group they would be able to help with Legal Services in this situtation. No one deserves to be treated like garbage. We are people and we deserve to be treated that way. Go for it hun you have to for the sake of yourself and your kid.

Answer 7

Your husband sounds to me like an immature jackass. He obviously has no respect for you or the institution of marriage. As his wife you should be is number one priority, not his sister or his mother,  but you.  Don't let your husband's harsh words or mean spirit, stop you from fulfilling your dreams. If you want to go to school, get a degree and make something of yourself then by all means do it. If you feel your back is up against the wall and you don't have a friend, I want to remind you that you always have a friend in Jesus. If you haven't done so already I invite you to establish a personal relationship with God. I can't even begin to tell you how prayer and God has helped me through some hard times. I will keep you in my prayers. Peace and God bless.

Answer 8

Well really, if you don't have any money for school (or any family who is willing to give you money) and you want to go to school, then you should work. That is how life works. You do not get anything for free. Your husband has every right to pay for his sisters education over yours. It sounds like she might be younger and he has a sort of responsibility over her. It is different than his wife, who should be fully capable and responsible for herself as his partner. He probably talks badly about you because he is frustrated that you are so lazy and irresponsible and that he has to work all day while you sit around at home crying about how you have no money when you could do the right, responsible and adult thing and get a job. Your child will grow up better too with a good role model of a mother ie. one that works rather than sits around at home crying all day like a little kid.  

Answer 9

you definitely need to kick his dumba$$ to the curb,,,he doesnt deserve you and you definitely dont need to be with someone who underestimates you.......he needs to realize that once he marries and has kids that his wife and kids are now his main priority........then his family,,,,,,,tell him to go s***w his sister and leave him.....i know its hard and i know it hurts but trust me he will be the one crying in the end...and if you need anyone you can hit me up anytime... [e-mail]    ...good luck

Answer 10

Leave him- you can get legal aid to get the divorce if you cant get it through the court house at no cost.

When you are separated you can apply for social welfare and they can also provide financial assistance to complete your schooling and day care for your child.

Answer 11

Girl, i am sorry but YOU DESERVE BETTTER! It sounds like he is married to his mom and sister instead of you. A man is supposed to make his WIFE his first priority, and "cut the cord." Of course he should love his family, but YOU are his family too, and he shouldn't be treating you with such disrespect and disdain for your desires and wants.

Get a job?!? He is supposed to be the provider, and even if you split it 50/50 he is supposed to have your back, and you his. Sounds like he is still stuck on mommy. You deserve better, no woman should have to put up with that.

I say see a lawyer, check out what your options are... You can get away from him, even if it is just to seperate until you can afford a formal divorce. Also, you can find roomates or maybe a job as a live in maid until you have enough money to get on your feet. Not ideal i know, but sometimes we have to do what we have to do. And hey, when you graduate from college, (when not if!), you will be a very very inspiring success story.

Stay strong girl, you can get away from him.

yeah.... i dont think i could handle that. you deserve more. every woman does.

Answer 12

its clear by what  he does and the things he says that the love for u just isn't there.he is getting loans from marital as setts to pay for his sister's school, when the money he is using is rightfully yours also. divorce the creep and move on to a man who truly loves u.

Answer 13

Wow really at this point there is no point staying in this relationship. You say you have no friends no money nothing well i would say go to family do have that? I would strongly suggest that you move on you really don't want your kid to grow up thinking mommy is sh** and she worth nothing and daddy wants to leave do you? there are many places that can help you out like government things your better off with out him and abuse like this can make you go into depression and may even go to worse god forbid !! :)  

Answer 14

This will sound like an ignorant question but I wonder what nationality you are. Some cultures are very open about their disrespect for their wives and their allegiance to their blood relatives. You are in an emotionally abusive relationship and I urge you to seek outside help. See a woman's shelter and contact your own family for support. Someone should be able to help you with a plan for self support. Not for nothing but you may find that you are just as responsible for those "loans" that he's taking  out. You are married and both responsible for debt. Also go to your college and speak to someone about your situation and your late financial aide. Maybe they can help you.  

Answer 15

Ask yourself this question:  Are you better off with him or without him?

If it is the latter in your mind, I advise this, sweetheart:  Take your caboose, open the door, and vamoose.