Why my second wife thinks i don't love her as much as my first wife.Plz help.?

Question

salaam.My second wife knows about my past (that i am married and have two children ) and she accepted it . but when i visited my first wife , she started crying, abusing me and my first wife. She says she cannot share me with some other woman.She even decided to be out of my life And always argue with me saying that i should have gave her some time( which she never told me before) i dont want to loose either of them plz help.

Answer 1

your new wife has to understand that b/c you have children with the first one she is going to be in your life for a while. if she had a problem with this she shouldn't have said YES to your proposal. perhaps sit down with her and explain that it didn't work out with your first wife for a reason and that you love her. she has to accept your past and move on with your future together. if she needs more time, give it to her. you two may have a lot to think about whether or not it is a good idea being together.  

Answer 2

Salaam,

You know I am a second wife and it can be hard.  Especially if this is new for you. I just say make sure everything is equal as far a time and taking care of both families. It will take some time.  

For me I have learned to live this way because as you said we agreed and accepted it.  It is hard. I gave up everything to be with my husband and  I am still sacrificing to be with him.  He only see's me one day a week and he says it's because his first wife doesn't drive and can't do all these things for her self.   The Quaran says you have to be equal. Yes he told me from the beginning and me and his wife met  and I often go to their house and visit they never come to my house.  It's tough.  I use to argue with him about time I wanted my equal share as the Quaran says I should have but, I get no where with this.  

So I have just learned to give it over to Allah.  

Brother, just give it some time.  I am in the same situation.  My husband has twins with his first wife, it is hard. It's not easy.  You have to find a way to balance the two households.  

Make sure that you are doing things equal,  I don't know what else I can say but is the new wife muslim. I converted to muslim when I decided to marry my husband so It was all alot to deal with.  I don't have any one to talk to about it, you have to live in secret and when your second it feels like you are alone.  

Answer 3

dude you should have kept it wife and mistress.  Who in their right mind would want more than 1 wife?

Answer 4

she needs to grow up. get her some counceling.