Why should people speak and act appropriately?

Question

when confronted with rejection, neglect, abuse, inappropriateness, frustration and anger

Answer 1

Hmmmm...interesting question.

I suppose the logical answer would be that responding in kind simply exacerbates or prolongs the issue.  People who have been taught to have "good manners" have usually been taught to walk away from confrontation.

However, I have to go on record as saying I think there are times when it's worthwhile to behave "inappropriately."

Sometimes, you come across those people in life who only get it when you respond to them in kind...dishing back what they dish out- that's what it takes to get their respect or for them to even acknowledge you or take you seriously.

I make every attempt to take the high road, but if really cornered, I'm not going to back down.  I will always try to be smart about the situation, and manage it graciously if the opportunity to do so presents itself, but, there are occasions where logic and manners just don't fit into the equation.

Example -a mild and insignificant but annoying incident in my past...

I was a manager in a fast food place when I was in school, and there was a man who came in every morning...always bought the same thing, ate...left his tray, cofffee cup, crumbs, used napkins, morning paper, etc...scattered all over the table when he left -every day-same thing...

I had never actually helped him until one morning when I happened to be up front when he ordered...I took his order, and he promptly THREW his money on the counter for me to pick up...

Lol, it immediately irked me so badly that I wanted to toss him his food and tell him to leave, but decided that would be "inappropriate."  

Instead, I grabbed his stuff, put it on his tray, handed it to him with a smile, and then picked up his money to ring him up...

Took his change out, thanked him, and THREW it back on the counter right where he threw it, and gave him my most winning smile and told him quite cheerfully to have a great day.

He stood there with an astonished look on his face for a moment, then finally said, "You threw my money on the counter."

I looked him directly in the eyes, and smiled again, and said, "Oh, yes sir...you threw it there for me, so I assumed that that was how you preferred to handle it."

He simply stared at me for a moment, then picked up his money and went to his table.

Never again did he throw his money at me.  He placed it in my hand whenever I helped him from that day forward, but he still threw it on the counter when others helped him...



Lots of other incidents through life, some much more serious and potentially volatile than that one.

I guess I would say there are times when inappropriate gets a better result, but usually it makes sense to "Choose your battles carefully."

Answer 2

to show that they are better than the ignorant people who have given them such feelings as you stated