Why should wives be submissive?

Question

I see this "wives should be submissive" mentality here and there (from both genders) and I wonder why this still seems something that should be an important quality in a wife. WHY should the wife be submissive? For what reason should the woman be submissive to her husband?

If it were a biblical thing, what about those who don't follow the bible? Should they then not be concerned with the submissive demand since it does not concern them (ie someone says "You should be submissive to your husband" and she shrugs her shoulders and says "Oh, I'm not religious")?

There is also many theologians that argue that certain verses previously attributed to Paul concerning wife submission were later added by an unknown author. If this were to be proven true, would this change many religious people's minds on the demand of wife submission?

Answer 1

I found this article that explains the Bibles answer to the "Headship" arrangement.

http://www.watchtower.org/e/20070115/art...

It explains the dignity and respect a woman should be given equally in the respective roles for both man and woman. Many people have abused this concept and have convoluted the phrase "submissive" to mean "slave" for their own desires. In actuality it means "yielding" which is a loving gift a wife can give her husband. It is equality because the wife yields to the husbands authority (meaning she gives consideration to the husband as the head of the family) as the husband yields to Jesus as his "head" (meaning he follows Jesus' loving way he treated the Christian congregation, with deep respect and genuine compassion). As we have seen this command is not blind, it is said because if a married couple follows this they will find happiness, therefore it is there for a practical reason.

Here is a section from the article that explains the Bible's view of the man's role:

"A Christian man has a divinely assigned role and is expected to fill it. Paul stated: “I want you to know that the head of every man is the Christ; in turn the head of a woman is the man; in turn the head of the Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3) Man too has a head—the Christ. Indeed, man is accountable to Christ and ultimately to God. And God expects man to exercise his headship lovingly. (Ephesians 5:25) This has been so ever since humans first walked the earth...Fulfilling their God-given roles brings happiness to both men and women. Happy marriages result when husbands and wives imitate the example of Christ and his congregation. “Husbands,” wrote Paul, “continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it . . . Let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself.” (Ephesians 5:25-33) Hence, husbands are required to exercise their headship, not in a selfish way, but in a loving way. Christ’s congregation is not made up of perfect humans. Yet, Jesus loves and cares for it. Similarly, a Christian husband should love and care for his wife."

The article goes on to talk about the Wife's role and why this is such a loving arrangement. God does not demand you do anything, he just implores to you that "his way" brings happiness and contentment to a marriage and not lean upon their own understanding (Proverbs 3:5) As Christians have dedicated their lives to God, they follow this arrangement and have benefited from it (remember the Husband acknowledging Christ as his head is an essential part in the arrangement).

As for the Paul thing, I can say with 100% assurance that those were Paul's words. The headship arrangement is in many parts of the Bible other than Paul's word's and his letters have been authenticated many times over, so there is no reasonable reason to doubt. No respected Bible scholar would ever agree that it was added later, there is just too much evidence for authentication.

Bottom-line: Submission or yielding (from the Bible's perspective) is not the disrespectful, condescending, hate-filled interpretation that the world leads women to believe. What the Bible "really" says is that Women should be honored, and they have special responsibilities that Men are not blessed with, they should be treated with respect and listened to and consulted on all important matters, they are here as a complement to enhance the Husband, just as the Husband is a compliment to enhance the Wife. Read the article and subsequent articles, they are very enlightening.

Answer 2

That is only one side of the debate. Check out Patricia Hill Collins "Black Feminist Thought in the Matrix of Domination.

"Resisting Domination--'The true focus of revolutionary change is never merely the oppressive situations which we seek to escape, but that piece of the oppressor which is planted deep within each of us."

Answer 3

I dont think wives "should be" any particular way that is not their own. who you are and who you are to him should be one in the same. Maybe that's beacuse I'm not religious. :)

Answer 4

Women want men who is strong and masculine, so why can't men want women who is feminine, loving and submissive?

Why do people looked down on men choice and preference?

Answer 5

It's religious texts like the Koran which poison peoples minds into thinking that...

See --------> http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/quran/...

"2.282 - A woman is worth one-half a man"

"64:14-15 - Your wives and children are your enemies. They are to you only a temptation"

"23:6 - You don't have to be modest around your wives or your slave girls "that your right hand possess."

At first I laughed but was horrified the second I realised people live their lives by this text!!! So the question is, is this an extremely warped outdated way of thinking or is it something worth dedicating your life to believing and worshipping? hmmmmmm "tough" one..

Answer 6

i don't believe a wife should be submissive i just think it's a preference for some people some girls are simpley submissive & some aren't & some guys like them & some don't so there ya go

Answer 7

submissiveness is not about being controlling, but it is the fact that we need to be cared for and nurtured and loved, men are built differently and they need mental pleasure...so in that sense,  we need to honor and respect them.

I have found that life is much easier when I simply suggest things to him and leave it alone, then a few days later, amazingly, whatever I suggested becomes his idea and then we are fine and I still got my way :)

so I don't think it's like bow down to your master submissive and all that stuff, it's more like saying I'm your bride and I will respect your "authority", this is biblical, and comes from the fact that the man is supposed to be the leader of the household under God.

Answer 8

Because masculinity is fragile and elusive.

Spending a lot of time with a wife and family can take it's toll on a man. Traditionally, men would spend more time with other men. They would hunt, work and build together. Today men much more time with their wives and kids. Men have taken a less masculine role in society. The least a woman can do is show appreciation for his love and sacrifices by honoring his masculinity.

Do you want to be told your beautiful and be made to feel like a desirable woman without giving something back? That's very selfish of you as a woman.

Answer 9

Why should men be providers?

Answer 10

its a natural "way of life". Women and men are both different in terms of capacity but but complements each other. one can't live without the other. With both they are a perfect being.

Men is capable of things that women can't do and vice versa. so each should have different way of respect.

Women has also power over men. not often being talked about. but you know you can control men.

Answer 11

Funny you ask this now.  I'm watching a financial consulting show on Fox Business Network, and the show host has just finished a rant to the effect that modern men are wimps, modern women are princesses, and marriages fail because they are not true partnerships where the decisions should be made by both parties.  He's a Christian host (I'm not, I just like his advice) and this wasn't anti-feminist at all.  

I don't believe wives should automatically be submissive.  Marriage is a partnership and both parties should have a say in how it works.  If you want to be treated like a child for your whole life and your husband agrees, that's fine.  But don't automatically assume it's the best way to be.  I suspect the immature ranters who think they're going to find dainty little automatons to marry after they graduate are going to be very surprised, and the girls who want to grow up and breed pretty children and decorate pretty rooms are also going to be very surprised, when they both learn that life has a way of working out very differently from what we want.  You play the hand you're dealt.  

Keep in mind that GWS does NOT, by any stretch of the imagination, represent a cross-section of American (I say that because I know that best) thinking.  It only represents the opinions of those of us who post here.

Answer 12

Wives should vie for the mastery with me!

Is that why I have been twice divorced?

Answer 13

For me, being submissive is purely for my husband. I am fairly neutral in my public life so in my private life, surrendering is a release. The Biblical aspect is part of it for me but I don't want to impose my beliefs on a public forum. Every woman is different though. Cheers! :-)

Answer 14

I must be out of the loop.  I've been around for a half century and don't know anyone who thinks wives ought to be submissive to their husbands.  Well, OK, I met someone who thought that based on their religion 20-plus years ago, but they got made fun of a lot even then.  It must really be just here and there, or I must really have an atypical circle of friends, family, and acquaintances. :)

Answer 15

You sound like the other woman that posted a "submissive" thread yesterday.

Do you understand that a wife can have a healthy, non-combative relationship with her husband & it doesn't mean she's "submissive?"

It's a common thing these days to confuse "abrasiveness" with "strength" and to confuse "kindness" with "submission."

Women have free choice to do whatever it is they wish.

If you think the majority of men are controlling their women and seeking to control their women...  I think you need to stop buying into the feminist nonsense & look around.

Men want women that treat them with respect.  Women today don't have much respect for men and it's not unreasonable for a man to enjoy the company of a woman that isn't always trashing him and always trying to prove something.

When women treat us with respect and put their gloves down (the ones feminists insisted they raise) ...men like that.

We want a woman that's kind... not submissive.

Answer 16

Wives should feel free to be all that they can be. Submission is old fashioned to when women did not work outside the home and probably did very little in the home.