Why tease loved ones?

Question

There is a family I know, I believe they love each other very much but they all tease each other constantly in what seems to me to be a mean way. Why would they do this?

They tease me too and it hurts my feelings very much. I have told them this but they persist. I try not to show I am hurt because I do not believe they mean harm but it is difficult to tolerate as I was raised with out any teasing at all. It makes me uncomfortable even when they do it only to each other. I do not understand what they find good or rewarding about this behavior.

I have asked some of them and they have said that teasing is funny but I do not understand that answer. Even if it were true that teasing was funny why would people try to be "funny" in this way? Why would they do it to loved ones? I am not a humorless person but in my family humor had to do with an insightful and clever way of expressing things or making a novel insight into human or individual character but this teasing seems to consist of saying a mean or insulting thing when no real offense is intended.

These people also like puns, could that be connected somehow? I "get" puns but I do not understand what is funny about them. One person in this family understands things very literally, she takes literally common expressions like "I saw that coming a mile away" but she love puns. Could they have developed this method of communicating to make fun of her? Strangely she seems to understand the teasing despite being stymied by everyday figures of speech---a strange trait I think but it has not held her back professionally.

Answer 1

Certain families have weird dynamics. It works for them, it does not mean it works for everyone. I think they are a tad insensitive to everyone else's feelings though. I would tell them firmly to cut that S**t out, and I would say it in a tone that they would understand. I do not play that.