Why try so hard to conceive?

Question

I have a friend that is sterile. She has gone to so many reproductive specialists and different meds and treatments to conceive. She is not in the best economical situation right now, trying to get a house, and she and her husband fight a lot. Our coworker always complaining about their kids - one that got caught shoplifting, using drugs, another gets beaten up in school. Not to mention the society we live in - drugs, teen pregnancies increasing, economy, etc. Doesn't want to adopt a baby because it will not feel "hers".

Why try so hard to have a child? Here I am reminded everyday why I don't want to have children, and she trying to hard. Also, what makes the life of a child that you conceive more important than another unlucky baby whose mom doesn't want him, why adopting is such a horrible thing? I guess I just don't comprehend why go trough the expense, pain, and grief when Mother Nature obviously doesn't want you to reproduce.

Answer 1

Maybe what seems good for you, may not seem good for you're friend.

But I do agree if you're friend is having so many personal and econmonic problems, she should should not be added to the picture. Its not going to make her problems better.

She just may really want a child. Adopting is not a bad thing, but to some people its not the same as having your own. They would prefer to have their own product. If thats makes sense. If conceiving doesn't work out, maybe she will consider adopting. After all it is her decision.

Answer 2

butt out. ur friend has the right to want a baby even if she cant have one, try being a little more supportive rather than coming on here and slagging off anyone who has or wants a child. what a negative attitude to have, i wouldn't fancy having you as a friend! Maybe you should try understanding the heart ache that your friend is feeling. Yes, I agree there are children who need parents etc but give your friend a break, she's only human!!!

Answer 3

I hear what you're saying.  I don't get it either.  So many people are wasting so much $$$ on fertility and trying to have their own child, many are wasting $$$ they don't have!!!  There are thousands of children available for adoption.  Whyo on earth not try that route?  ---especially if you want a child???  

I am 33 and also constantly reminded of the struggle that parenting brings people.  I am just not convinced that I should do this to myself.  Why bring in another being to struggle in society???  I wish I wanted a child, but you have pointed out many of my reasons not to have one, too.

Why can't people think rationally????

Answer 4

I hate to say this, but your post definitely shows that you have never been through something as difficult as infertility.  Just because YOU do not want a child, does not mean that nobody else should!  Put it in this perspective...what is the ONE thing in life that means more than anything to you?  Now imagine that you cannot have that, when everyone else can...  Tough to deal with wouldn't it be!

We tried to conceive for over 4 years (including 2 years of expensive fertility treatments that all failed), before moving on to adoption.  We waited to adopt for over 1 1/2 years, when we discovered that miraculously I was pregnant!

Answer 5

Adoption costs $$$ too!  Not to mention the stress of being put under a microscope hoping that a birthmom or other agency will find you worthy of raising a child.

You may not understand, but you can try to be more sympathic!