Why was I extremely homesick for my Mom the first night, then totally fine after that?

Question

Aside from when I was in college and lived on campus & had my own apartment senior year, I've always lived at home with my parents.

Mom and I are EXTREMELY close and even though I've got several great girlfriends my own age, Mom is the absolute best.

Anyhow my fiance was resassigned to another state several thousand miles away (military) back in December. In June, I left my parents house and moved in with him.

During the first day I was fine, but during the first night, I started missing my Mom so much it hurt. I actually cried and long after fiance went to sleep, I was still wide awake sobbing on and off because I missed my Mother so much.

The next morning, I still felt a little sad, but was okay. That night, I felt fine.

I don't understand why that happened because I left home for weeks at a time since the age of 12, I have flown by myself to visit friends and family in other states. I never felt homesick, even when I was that young, but I would be glad to see Mom when I finally got home.

It's been almost 3 months since then and even though I enjoy talking to Mom on the phone and email, I don't find myself actively missing her and being sad that we are apart.

Does the fact that I "got over" missing my Mom so soon mean we aren't as close as I thought?

Answer 1

Moms are the best.

I would have cried too.

I miss my mom now.

I think I will give her a call.

Answer 2

The fact that you got over it so soon is a testament to the good relationship you have with your mother and to your own emotional health.  If you were crying every day after 3 months, it would be time for you to pack up and go home because you WOULDN'T be ready to leave.  

When I got married, my husband and I moved several hundred miles away from our parents.  One night on our honeymoon, I sat and bawled my eyes out because I wasn't going to be home to watch my youngest brother grow up.  He was 9, and he had always been my baby and I spoiled him.  Broke my heart that I wouldn't be there every day.  But all I needed was that one good cry and then I was okay.  

And you're okay.  Your mom raised you to be an adult and live your own life, and that's what you're doing.  She knows how much you love her.  Your closeness to her hasn't changed because your address changed.

Answer 3

Not at all.. you probably just needed to express your anxiety about moving away with your man and no longer being physically close to your mom.  I've found that not living close to my mom has made it a better more open relationship for us.  Now you get to have long phone calls and reconnect with your mom ever time she calls.  Those are always fun.  Keep your chin up!

Answer 4

it was a change and it took time for toyu to get use to

Answer 5

You realized that first night that this is long term and it made you sad.  

Answer 6

No.  Getting over missing your Mom that quickly means that you are a healthy adult with a strong ability to adapt, which is a very good quality of someone who is committed to a military man.  If your fiancee is a a career soldier, you might find yourself moving over and over again and having to adapt to a new and different place every year or so.  That is why it is such a good quality to have!

You missed your Mom and were acutely sad.  That is totally normal.  Then you worked through it, probably mostly in your sleep.  Since you have left and returned before you know that you can always go back, not to mention the fact that you know you can reach your Mom by phone, so you will find it easy to stay in touch, and you have stayed in touch. You realize you aren't mourning the loss of your Mom...this isn't the pioneer days where you might never see her again if you moved cross country!  You got on and adapted to the changes in your life, and all is good!  You sound d**n healthy to me!

Answer 7

No, not at all.  The fact that you "got over" it so quickly simply means that you were ready to move out and begin the next stage of your life.  This is nothing to feel guilty or sad about, and I am happy that you are transitioning so well.  Congratulations!

Answer 8

OMG ME TOO!!! i have always went away traveling and of course i missed her but I would be fine but I moved across the world for my husband (finace at the time) and I felt so sick because I missed her so much. My mom and I are VERY close to and I still have really bad missing mom day's but nothing as bad as that first night ..i think it's because it's in a new house that is suppose to be your home but doesn't feel the same without your mom. They just make things feel okay some how ..even now that i have been on the other side of the world for a couple years, when i am sick I just want my mom!!!