Why when you ask a question in a different way, you get a different answer?

Question

Why is it that, the way you ask a question gets different results, even if it's a really simple change?

For example, if I ask my roommate to do my laundry, they'd probably say no. However, if I said "Hey, could you do me a big favour? Could you do my laundry for me?" They'll probably say yes?

Yes, I know that asking nicely is oblivious but, what is the difference psychologically?

Answer 1

It's a little bit like reverse psychology. Simply asking your roommate to do the laundry makes them feel like you're taking them for granted, like you're assuming they'll agree....however, asking for a big favor from your roommate will put you beneath him/her....you will be humbling yourself, which makes the other person more prone to accept. asking in this way also suggests that the roommate will probably not want to do the laundry, and people don't want to be thought of as mean or inconsiderate, so the roommate may be almost guilted into it.

Answer 2

Well let's look at your first request.

You are asking your roommate to do something that would inconvenience him.

In your second question you're asking for a favor which usually means that they can ask for something in return thereby giving their selfish altruism a  little jump and so they are more likely to say yes.

Answer 3

no-one likes to be taken for a ride of feel they are being used. By changing the content of the question you are opening yourself up the person and asking for their help.....making yourself somewhat vulnerable......and endearing quality

why do you think woman are so good at getting guys to what they want! lol