Why???? why why why do people STILL do this?

Question

in answer to a YA question, another pap just said:

"if they have been adopted by a good caring family they should shut up and be grateful"

Answer 1

we the vagrants the adoptees should be thankful someone picked us out like an abandoned animal and took us home..lol...kills me...everyone has the right to know who they are and where they came from...its that simple...

Answer 2

well dont read them then. If you cant take the ****, then dont dish it out. Not everyone is going to pussyfoot around you clowns while you drown yourself in your misery. GUNG HO. Thats the american attitude right?

Answer 3

I'm so glad that my parents are nothing like some of the a-parents on yahoo here. they have always treated me with respect. to answer your question though, it seems that this person was just lashing out and they failed to realize how hurtful those words are.

Answer 4

what is sad, i have been a foster parent to 16 kids in the last 5 years, the saddest one was a 4 year old, taken from her parents at 1 given to foster parents who adopted her at 2,(who at one point where charged with abuse and neglect to children but given a license to foster/adopt anyhow by st of fl) by 4 she was in p**n movies and a pro at shop lifting. when we got her she came into my house and cursed me out for not having a plate of cookies on the counter for her.  it was a 5 month battle to get her under control, she had no rules or boundaries to go by, she was allowed to do what she wanted before she came to us.  after 5 months she tried to push my 83 year old mother in law in the pool, we had to move her, DCF took our license away from us. because we cannot handle childen when they have behavior problems.  now we cant adopt. we would love a child who would be grateful for a home.

Answer 5

that makes no senses of why why why why why they not shut up and their caring family and gratful..maybe ur pap just don't likes it

Answer 6

You don't have to read questions that upset you. Just ignore them. Some people don't know anything. You have every right to feel the way you feel. No one can tell you how to feel.

Answer 7

Get a life sweetheart!

Whos worse guys? Her for posting it, or us for answering her!?

Answer 8

Because they're saying what they feel.  If we think it's right or wrong, great- but it's THEIR opinion; not yours.

In MY opinion, it's WRONG to tailor your opinions/answers just to be with the "in crowd" and not get ridiculed later.

Come on- people learn when others give honest answers...

Answer 9

because some ppl with natural parents are suffering and ppl like you who have nice caring adoptive parents dont know how lucky you are thats why

Answer 10

The person who said this was obviously a jerk.  Plain and simple.  Not a PAP jerk or an adoptee jerk, just a jerk.

Answer 11

Obviously, they don't realize that being adopted is sometimes difficult for anyone to handle, regardless of life afterward.

Answer 12

Absolutely no child owes gratitude to their parents.  Parents raise their children, they are the ones who wanted the children.  The children did not ask to be born or adopted into their families.

I wish i had a better answer for you.  Its too bad that people think you can't have an independent thought on adoption no matter what kind of family you had.

Answer 13

Perhaps it is too much to handle being forced to see that not all adoptees are singing in lala land.

Won't it suck if their very own adoptling feels the way so many here do? I am thinking they wouldn't treat their own children even half as badly as they treat people behind the anonymity of their screen names.

Answer 14

To what Laurie, Rejected, and Gaia have said, I can only add

OH GHACK----

Answer 15

It just shows me that there are a lot of bigoted people out there.

My only question is, why would someone who obviously hates adoptees want to adopt one?

It boggles my mind.

But maybe they get something out of making a child "shut up and be grateful".

It just says something about them.

That's my opinion anyway.

Answer 16

I can see how someone who isn't involved in adoption, or who doesn't share the same feelings, might not UNDERSTAND, intellectually, what goes on inside a person in pain.  But the lack of brain power to comprehend someone else's pain is no excuse for these downright hurtful words.

Just because you don't share the same life circumstances, or the same feelings about similar life circumstances, that does NOT give you the right to attack people who are grieving.

Now where the h**l is that bolt of lightning when you need it?

ETA to Rejected Reject:  Let's hope you're right...but I suspect some here have no qualms about saying these very same words to their own children.  When you're an uncaring, insensitive puke of a person, it's not necessarily limited to online.

Oh look, here comes one now...

Answer 17

What I don't understand is why anybody would think a child owes their parents any kind of gratitude at all, adopted or otherwise.

Parents choose to bring children into their lives, not the other way around.

Answer 18

Don't attack the poster..she isn't asking the question, she is asking why people ask the question.

Because they don't understand.

There are a lot of happy well adjusted people who are adopted who are grateful for their families...just as I am grateful for my biological family.

There are some people who wish they'd never been adopted.  Who really feel that they'd been better off staying with their biological parents...some would have been.

There should be room for everyone on this board who is respectful, honest, not kissing up to anyone (I agree there are people that just totally suck up for some reason).

There isn't room for petty, hurtful, ignorant people...and little room for people who can't spell!

Answer 19

Not again.  What does who raised me and how have to do with my desire to make adoption better and to get my equal rights?